Because I Know There's No Life After You ♥Tom Felton♥

46) So Cold

Inspired Song: So Cold By: Ben Clocks 

Chapter Forty Six- So Cold

My fingers tapped nervously on the bathroom counter. This was just going to be a false alarm. Nothing to it; in a few months I will forget ever standing in this position. I was fretting over nothing, because there was no way that the test would be positi-

"Mummy?" Lily asked. I turned quickly took look at her figure standing with her hand on the door knob, giving me a curious look.

"Yes?" I asked, trying to sound calm.

"Where's my pink bow?" She asked innocently as she walked in, looking as if she was going to start searching through my drawers and cabinets.

I quickly rushed to her and turned her around patting her back lightly out of the bathroom. "I think that it is down in the living room sweetheart."

She gave me a curious glance but nodded and walked out of the room, her green dress flowing behind her. I sighed, relaxing my tense muscles until the timer of my phone dinged and all the tension was sucked back into my poor body.

Taking a deep breath I turned on my heel and walked over to the sink. Hesitantly, I looked down at the pregnancy test.

Immediately all of the tension drained from my body in the form of disbelief. "You have got to be kidding!" I groaned as I took the stick into my hand and stared down at the pink plus sign.

I let the test fall from my fingers and clatter into the sink. My fingers rammed themselves into my curls as I closed my eyes tightly; willing the situation to fade away.

I let my gaze settle on my reflection in the mirror. One tear was sliding its way down my warm cheek. My fingers drifted down to my stomach, gently probing the flesh there. Why hadn't I noticed that I had gained weight, why hadn't I noticed the signs earlier?

I quickly calculated the date. I was almost two months pregnant...had it really been two months since that long night? It seemed as if I saw him only yesterday. When, in fact, it had been...a month? No, that didn't sound right. I looked down at my phone to check the date; yes it had been a month.

If I thought about it, I could still feel him warm hands on my skin sending my body aflame. I shook my head, shooing away such thoughts. Suddenly the thought of telling Tom that I was pregnant bounced its way into my mind. I couldn't tell him.

I looked down at the time. Yes I difinently couldn't tell him. He was on location right now, he had been for the past month, he had given me a strict time schedule of when I could call him. Though this situation seemed as we could bend those rules. These few hours left, of when I'm not suppose to call him, will give me time to think about this.

"Mummy! We are going to be late!" Lily screamed, no doubt from down stairs.

I shook my head, throwing all thoughts of a baby to the back of my mind. Thinking about a baby would have to wait until later.

The thoughts stayed bottled up inside of me, until Lily was safe at daycare and I was back in the empty house. I prepared myself for hard decisions with a warm cup of tea that with one taste calmed my already exhausted body.

I sat down at the kitchen table, the mug of tea resting between my palms, and stared out at the late morning rays of sun streaming through the backyard and into the dim kitchen.

I unlatched the gate that held the scattered thoughts of my predicament, and braced myself for the blow of questions. What was going to happen? Does being pregnant change the way I feel about the divorce?

No...it doesn't. I couldn't put another child through everything that Lily has been through...it's not right. But then again...is it right for a child to grow up from a already broken family?