Because I Know There's No Life After You ♥Tom Felton♥

47) Come Over

Inspired Song: Come Over by: Kenny Chesney 

Chapter Forty Seven- Come Over

My mind faded in and out of the conversation as Mason recalled a surgery he had preformed the other day to the three of us. Lucy was in the kitchen preparing tea, and the children were in the upstairs of the house playing around.

I lifted my eyes from the floral print of the table cloth as Lucy walked back in with a tray filled with tea, sugar, and pastries. I looked around the table at Victoria, Felix, and Elisabeth as Lucy playfully scolded Mason, complaining about how he was going to bore us to death. I smiled lightly at the display, not sure why I agreed to come to this little gathering on a Friday afternoon.

Victoria and Felix, who have three boys, which I hope are not playing too roughly with Lily, live down the street while Elisabeth and her husband, Justin, are quite content in there cozy house without the distractions of children.

I subconsciously rubbed my growing stomach through my not so flattering sweat shirt. Oh how it would be nice to not have to think about the little one in my tummy...no that is a horrible thought. Even though I was only two months pregnant, and barely beginning to show, I instantly loved the little boy.

Obviously I didn't know what the gender of the baby was, but I could just feel that it was a boy, you could call it mothers intuition. Suddenly I frowned as my phone buzzed, only briefly interrupting Felix's story of a neurotic customer he had recently. I opened up the text from Tom saying that he couldn't take Lily for the whole week as he had planned, for he was needed back on the set of the small movie he was completing before he began the big break one, but that he would still pick her up Monday.

Over the past month I realized that I needed to tell Tom, but I didn't really want to have the conversation over the phone, and the last time he came to visit Lily I chocked and wasn't able to produce those words that would unravel the common ground we stood on.

When a break came in the conversations, that I had barely contributed anything to, I excused myself, saying that I would come pick up Lily a little later for none of us wanted to ruin the child's play and that I was just over tired, and over worked.

I had begun to put the house up on the market. I had found a really good realtor, but we couldn't finalize anything or actually put the house on the market because it wasn't officially mine to sell, because the divorce wasn't finalized yet.

I sighed as I made the short walk across the street to the house, trying to focus on the soft wind against my skin, instead of my complicated life. Being over worked wasn't the only reason why I wasn't sleeping. I couldn't turn my brain off. I couldn't get images out of my head...I couldn't stop doubting myself and my intentions of the future.

Because the question was still up in the air. What did I want out of my life?

If you asked me seven years ago, it would have been wanting to stay with Tom forever. Thinking about it now, I want  a version of that. A version in which Tom and I got along, but that version disappeared a long time ago.

So what did I want now?

I wanted Lily to be happy and stay innocent to everything had to go through as a child. I wanted to be able to live on my own, without anyone's help. And, unfortunately, I wanted to be in love.

I have forgotten what it feels like, but I still have slight memories. I want that, butterflies in the stomach feeling. I want that never wanting to let a person go feeling. I want to be able to laugh, and cuddle, and just have someone to share things with.

But how could I have any of that without Tom?

It didn't seem possible to be in love with anyone ever again. Not after what I use to have with Tom. How could anything match up to that?