The Malevolent Bond

Chapter Twenty|| Figuring it out

{Alara's POV} Listen to the song as you read.

I sat quietly as Scarlett and Alec discussed the spell he used to lock away my dark magic.

I hated the skeptic looks everyone gave me, even from my own mate.

I know I lied, but I had to in order to live my life again. If King Christian were to find out, I'd be locked up once more and I don't want that. I remember the countless hours I sat staring at a blank wall in a tiny room that had enough space to hold a bed and a nightstand.

The days I wasn't in that room, I was in a lab room where witches did countless spells on me that sucked me dry of any energy I had. I became skin and bones and felt completely lifeless.

But soon the dark magic that was left in me grew accustomed to the magic they were using to expel it from me. It wasn't affected anymore and I didn't care enough to tell them. I wanted out of that place. So with some fake smiles and false hope, I managed to trick them into thinking it was all gone. 

After a few more spells and a call from the king himself, I was finally leaving that place and I never looked back. 

Now, though, here I sat feeling just like that same person from that room full of witches. 

"Alara," Alec spoke, bringing me from my thoughts. 

"Yes?"

"We're calling it a night. Go get some rest and I'm going to write this spell out for Scarlett so she'll get off my ass," he stated, earning a scoff from Scarlett. 

I nodded numbly already dreading speaking to Evan tonight. I left my reading room and headed toward our house. 

The minute I shut the front door, I could hear his footsteps as he came down the stairs. 

"How could you not tell me? I'm your mate!" He snapped and I sighed, shaking my head. 

"Evan do we really have to fight right now?"

"We're not fighting. It's a simple question that you need to answer." 

"I don't know! I feared you'd leave me and I feared my deep, dark secret would get out and that would be it! I don't want to go back...I-I can't!" Tears filled my eyes and his features softened as he walked towards me, pulling me into his embrace. 

"I'd never leave you." 

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed. 

All the emotions I had been keeping in these past few weeks poured out of me as I gripped onto to Evan, afraid my knees would give. 

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm here, baby girl. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. We'll figure this out." 

I pulled back at him, looking up and seen just how much this affected him as well. I could easily read him. He was scared too, but he didn't want to admit it. 

"I think we need to talk," he stated, his voice shaky. 

"About what?" I sniffled. 

"I think it's finally time that the both of us finally get out what happened to us all those years we spent locked away. Why we fear we'll turn back into those people we once were. How we need to feel that power again and how we crave it, but we're too scared to even think about being as powerful as we once were."

I stared at him with wide eyes.

He was finally ready to talk to me? He was finally ready to open up?

"Let's sit." he motioned to the couch in the living room and I nodded, not able to speak, and followed him to it. 

Once we were settled, he started. 

"I...remember waking up in this dimly lit cell. I remember my body ached with pain but I had no memory as to why, but I immediately noticed you weren't with me and I was in a cell. I nearly lost it. I scream and I shouted...but no one came. Days went by without food and I'd be lucky to wake up a morning and see water sitting right outside my cell where I could reach it." my heart ached to hear this and, for a moment, I didn't want to hear much more but he continued. 

"Then he came; King Christian. It all made sense and memories started to piece themselves back together. I remember him invading our pack with royal wolves. I remember our men getting slaughtered and children and women being ushered onto buses going Goddess knows where. I remember fighting his wolf but after that...it was all dark. I could just hear your screams in my head and it killed me. Christian gave me no information on you. I didn't know if you were alive or if you were locked up like I was. Honestly, I knew you weren't though considering I was still alive, but I wanted you to be dead as horrible as it sounds. I couldn't think about you being locked up or tortured."

I leaned up, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. He closed his eyes for a second, his hand raising to take my own into his grasp, holding it tightly. 

He finally opened his eyes again and they were bloodshot from the tears he was trying to hold back. "I couldn't help but think it was my fault. I am supposed to protect you. I swore it to you that I would and I failed you, Alara, I failed you. Do you want to know why I could barely look at you when I came back? It wasn't because of what they did to me. It was because I could barely stand to look at myself in the mirror knowing I let you get taken away from me. I broke my promise to you and for that, I will never be able to forgive myself." 

I shook my head. "Evan you never failed me."

"Yes I did and no matter what you try to say, my mind will not change, Alara." I looked down, knowing he was right. 

He wouldn't listen to me. 

"After Chrisitan came and saw me, that's when the torture began. They removed whatever dark magic had it's hold on me and the witches that did that...had a game of their own. For days they would play mind games with me. I would be strapped to a chair and would have to watch you die over and over again...which you already know." 

I couldn't believe Christian would be so...cruel. Then again, I realized that we were the cruel ones. The things we did...we would never be forgiven. And with us being locked up all those years, that was our own torture for it. 

"Then my cell changed to a dark pit—a hole even. They'd toss me in it and I'd just be in a pit of darkness. I lost track of time and days that went by. I started to lose my mind in there. I just remember wanting so bad to be in your arms one last time. I thought that my life was over and there was no going back, but as if the Goddess gave me a second chance, one day I was taken from the pit. I stood before King Christian as he told me about the war and the spell he put on me. How if I kept to myself and my pack, I'd have you back with me."

His eyes finally met mine. "And I knew right then that I'd do anything to have you back. I'd give up my power, my title, and even my own pack just to have you back because all that is nothing to me without you. You are my life, Alara, and you always will be. So I obeyed. I agreed to be this civil alpha, I agreed to only act the least bit malevolent when I was ordered to do so, and I agreed to be the king's own mutt because I love you and I wanted nothing more than to just see your face again; to know you were okay." 

He took a deep breath. "And I'd do all that over again if it meant you were safe. So when I say you're not going back to that awful place...I mean it."

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EVAN FINALLY OPENED UP AHHHH

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