Just A Game

30. What If I'm Wrong

"And... I just cant... Even explain... Or even begin... To say how sorry i am." Zayn muttered through his tears. he was being quite a baby right now, but for some reason it was kind of nice.

"Zayn... It may be shoking, but its going to take a little more than a simple 'sorry' to help me get over what you did to me. if i even get over it at all. theres no promises." I said, wlaking back towards Harry.

"I dont know what else you want me to do Haley." Zayn said, calming donw a bit.

"I want you to show me you fucking care. thats all i want."I said, gritting through my teeth. was it now obvious that ALL i wanted? isnt that why i lov-... liked niall?

"I think its time for you to go Zayn." Harry said, poingting Zayn to the door. I could literally feel Zayns eyes powering down on me, but i refused to look up.

"I think Haley should decide if that happens." Zayn said, sitting back down on the couch. I rolled my eyes and turned to Harry, who was rubbing my arm in comfort. I looked up into those big green eyes, and he just simply shrugged. i grunted.

"Okay Zayn. You have 10 MINUTES with me alone. Harry, if im not down in 10 minutes, check on me." I said, walking up the staris barely waiting for zayn. Harry gave me an assuring thumbs up and i made my way up the stairs. I walked into the bedroom where me and Zayn first slept together. Before i could leave, Zayn came in a shut the door. This was going to be an akward conversation.

"This room brings back memories." Zayn said, smiling and sitting on the bed next to me. I rolled my eyes and gave him a sassy smile.

"Dont waist your time." I said, waiting for him to speak. He took a deep breath and surprisingly, started immediately pouring out his thoughts.

"Haley, when i fist saw you i swear it was love at first sight. Yes, i was dating Perrie the last few months we were on tour and TRUST ME, i was going to tell you FIRST THING when we got back. But seeing you and forgetting how beautiful and sweet you are, i just couldent because i knew i needed you. and i know thats no reason for me to cheat on you. And if i could, i would break up with Perrie RIGHT NOW and marry you at this very moment. But her management and our management kind of have a deal. Its hard to break, and i could almost loose my career for it. I didnt want to go all crazy on you, and believe me, i would never ever do anything to harm you. and seeing you look at me with the mark i gave you, i just cant handle it. I cant live without you im just... im not ME without you. Your part of making me, me. I dont care about Perrie, i dont care about anything. I would give up anything in the world for you, Haley and if one of those things has to be my career, then ill leave it. Its better than being miserable for the rest of my life. I would rather grow up and make a beautiful family with you. Ive always pictured you in my future, and it wouldent make any sense to not have you in it. I hop this sums up how incredibly sorry I am for everything I have done." 

I was completely frozen at that moment. I wanted to cry. Zayn started crying half way through that sentence. The Zayn i fell in love with was back. I dont know what it was. If it was the tension of the room, or the fact that Zayn was showing so much feeling, I just leaned in and gave him a quick peck. Not anything meaningful, becasue i wasnt ready to go down that road again. I still had feelings for Niall for crying out loud.

"Zayn, thank you. I have no idea what im doing right now and i dont know where to go from here." I said, looking at mine and zayns hand, trying to really think. My thoughts were interupted by Harry opening the bedroom door.

"Everything going alright?" Harry said, peeking through the door.

"Yeah actually, we just finished up." I said, getting up from the bed and walking out by Harry. 

"I just need to make a quick private phone call, ill be down in about 15 minutes." I said, trying to escort them both. Zayn got up and went over by Harry as the both walked out. Before they could shut the door, i stopped them.

"HEY. No fighting." I warned. Harry rolled his eyes and nodded and they both went downstairs. I softly shut the door and ran back to go sit on the bed. I quickly grabbed my phone out, almost shaking. I went through my contacts quickly and almost passed 'Nialler <3'. I quickly pressed the send button and placed it on my ear. I crossed my fingers as it was ringing, hoping he would answer. the third ring he did.

"Hello?" Niall said, almost sounding dead.

"H-Hey Niall. Everything okay down there?" I stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"Umm... I guess so. Why are you calling?" Niall said, almost sounding irritated.

"I just... I guess i just really wanted to hear you voice." I couldent help it, i started to cry at the end of that sentence. I heard him say something to Liam.

"Haley, its okay. Im still here. Why are you upset? You wanted this for the best, right?" Niall said, repeating what i said earlier, which made me cry even more.

"Niall i dont want Harry or Zayn or anyone, i just want you i dont know why your just like perfect and i know its bad but i just need you." I siad, the tears coming out really badly now.

"Where are you right now?" Niall said, starting to sound like the caring man i loved again.

"Im at Harrys." I said, taking a deep breath and trying to stop crying.

"Okay. Im going to come and pick you up. Is that okay?" Niall said, i could tell over the phone that he was grabbing his jacket and carkeys.

"Yes thats perfect, please." I said, getting excited.

"Im going to bring you a sweatshirt too." Niall said. He was the most caring man in the world i swear.

"Thank you Niall." I said, it was more like a whisper.

"Okay ill be there in about 20 minutes. I love you." He said. when he said I love you, i immediately knew by the tine of his voice that he meant it. Before i could say it back, he hung up. I went over to the bedroom mirror to fix the running mascara that was down my cheeks. I was absolutely excited to see Niall, I couldent even contain it. My face was glowing and i had the biggest smile on my face. I went downstairs to let Zayn and Harry know that we would all be going to Liams, just so they wouldent get suspicious.

"Hey guys, were all going to go back to Liams. is that okay?" I said, making sure they didnt mind. Harry nodded in assurance and Zayn did right after.

"And zayn Perrie will be there so you have something else to do." I said. I can admit that was quite rude. Harry put his hand over his mouth, laughing at my clever remark. Zayn was just staring at the floor biting his lip. I didnt feel bad. He was a dick. Although... that speech did clear things up. I was for sure i was going to think about it tonight, so its no problem.

"Are we driving there?" Harry said, sitting on the stool in the kitchen.

"Uhh no Nialls picking us up." I said, sitting on the stool across from Harry. Harry and Zayns face immidiately tensed up. I shurgged. I think they were going to find everything out about how i feel tonight. It was bound to happen at some point, lets just get everything over it.

"Umm... guys... can i be honest with you guys?" I said, playing with my phone nervously.

"Yeah of course anything." Harry said, scooting to the edge of his seat, wanting to know what i was about to say.

"Well... its... Its just that... Im kind of.... In love... With Niall." Zayns head perked up. The whole house was completely silent it scared me a little bit. Harry got super pale, and Zayn just looked pissed off. I wanted one of them to say something so badly, but nothing was said. Nothing broke this hurtful silence. I was shaking at this point. The father of my child and the boy that needs me in his life just got told that i love someone else. Finally, the ringing of my phone broke the silence.

*INCOMING CALL FROM: Nialler <3"