heavy-hearted | fillie

thirty

lately I've been on a rollercoaster,
tryna get a hold of my emotions
all that I know, is I need you close
—————

Finn stood in the kitchen after their little tiff before, munching on one of the waffles that Jane made them previously. His phone then buzzed as he took it out of his pocket, quickly typing a reply before placing his plate within the dishwasher.

Millie sat on the kitchen island after she just finished getting dressed, reading one of the poem books that Jane bought her a few months ago and she didn't get to give them to her until yesterday. It was by Rupi Kaur, sure Millie has probably seen all of her poems before as they were everywhere, but seeing them written on paper was a whole different feeling than just a picture on a screen.

'and here you are living
despite it all'

This one was her favourite as she folded the edge, making sure to keep that one bookmarked.

She read another one, though. Another one that had her eyes quickly twitch up to the black haired boy in front of her.

'i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire'

It was so true, poems spoke words to her that only writing could fathom. He really was filling the parts of her that was solemnly empty, she didn't want him to do that. Though she was really appreciative, she needed to learn how to deal with things on her own, she has done this so much in the past you'd think she'd be a pro at it. But having him here, willingly by her side made her want to run to him at every little convenience because she knew he'd be waiting there with open arms.

It was just easier when someone you care about was there to help you.

She folded that page quickly, too.

"I'm going to grab a coffee with Iris."

Her head instantly turned up and tilted to the side - like some sort of puppy. Was she hearing clearly or was she starting to develop a hearing impediment.

"Sorry, what?"

Finn didn't click on to Millie's hesitant tone as he repeated himself again clearly.

"Iris asked if she wanted to go and get a coffee to talk about planning Gaten's birthday party."

Millie nodded, keeping a calm shell on the outside when she was twitching with nerves on the inside.

"I didn't know she knew Gaten?" Millie questioned, Finn was so oblivious to her undertone that he just simply nodded, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Her book was now put down on the shelf as she dangled her legs off of the side, her heels slightly kicked the side of the island but she didn't notice as she was so irritated, ringing started to develop in her ears.

She just told him how she felt about her around him, she felt like her feelings were not taken into consideration.

"I just remembered, I have to go and meet Noah at the library to uh - study."