heavy-hearted | fillie

twenty two

im a sucker for all the subliminal things
no one knows about you,
and you're making the typical me
break my typical rules
its true, I'm a sucker for you
——————

Experiencing the feeling of absolute terror was hell, going through it again was absolutely agonising and she would wish that feeling upon her greatest enemy. It took a few seconds for her heart to calm down, she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth to try and steady her breathing. She still felt the pulsation rapidly in her neck but throughout the breathing mechanism she felt this reduce - finally able to see clearly.

She finally lifted the blanket off of her face, allowing herself to take a deep, solidified breath before allowing a few, hot, silent tears fall down her cheeks and into her ears. She didn't know what to do anymore, she had to wait a week until her grandmother came home but she didn't feel like she could cope a week here with him under the same roof.

She wiped the tears off of her face aggressively, she was so fed up of crying, of being so destructive that she thought about ending it every single day.

She tip-toed out of bed as she heard her parents bedroom door close, an indication that Robert finally entered the bedroom and he probably passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. She gave it a few minutes before opening her window quietly, sneaking out before setting the blanket down on the roof and sitting on it with a bottle of wine in her hand - the one she stole from the fridge a few weeks ago and hid below her bed.

She opened it with clammy hands, her hands were so clammy that it was difficult to even open the bottle but she finally managed it after a few attempts, causing her palms to go all red and itchy.

What turned her attention is Finn's bedroom window opening and his messy hair popping out of it. He looked at her with a confused expression, before closing the window behind him, he looked angry. A few seconds later he was out of his own house, walking towards Millie's and climbing onto the roof like he did a week and a bit back.

Millie's heart raced, trying to come up with countless of excuses of why she was there for the short few seconds t took for him to walk towards her. She could tell by how heavy he was walking that he was annoyed, extremely annoyed and she became so nervous that a part of her felt nauseous.

"Hi." He smiled, rubbing his hand on her back as a greeting. She leaned into the warm, familiar feeling as she smiled back. As soon as she felt the contact all the nerves suddenly disappeared.

"Hi." She replied, taking a sip out of the bottle and offering some to Finn.

"Care to tell me why the fuck you're at this house?" He asked her, his expression turned angry and he pulled his hand away from her back - she nearly whimpered at the loss of contact.
"Why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't want you to worry." She said smally, looking him in the eye this time. This, this was abnormal. He wasn't used to it, he didn't know how to react. He practically turned into liquid under her stare but he had to stay strict, she's putting herself in danger and lying to him in the process.

"Of course I'd worry, Millie." He said, a little softer but the dominance was still clinging to his voice. She nodded, not knowing what to say, she just enjoyed his company. He took the bottle from her hands and taking a few long swings hisself before handing it back.
"You're coming with me, there's no way in hell you're staying here tonight."