heavy-hearted | fillie

twenty three

falling, falling but I'd never thought you'd leave me
falling, falling, needed something to believe in
I thought you were the one
but it was all in my head
—————

She awoke the next morning to a small and light tapping that came from her window. Her eyes ripped open and her mouth was as dry as the Sahara desert, the first thing on her mind wasn't to find the source where the strange knocking sound came from, it was imagining the feeling of cold water running smoothly down her throat.

She gulped, sitting up and wincing as daylight shone straight into her eye. She woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, she practically felt the down feeling as soon as her eyes opened. Her body felt more exhausted that morning and her nerves twitched with irritation, waiting for someone to ignite the spark that was her patience. The familiar heavy weight that sat on her shoulders since she could remember has always been there but today...today it was a little more noticeable.

So she turned her head towards the knocking frustratingly, seeing black curly hair through the slight gap in her curtain. She threw herself out of bed, walking towards the door and placing her ear within the gap to make sure her parents were still asleep. She then walked towards the window where Finn was so impatiently waiting as the tapping continued, lifting it with a bit of force, allowing Finn to stumble in. She immediately put her finger to her lips, silently telling him he needed to keep his voice down. He nodded understandably.

"You ready?" He asked her, looking towards her flustered cheeks and her wild hair that was half up half down. She furrowed her eyebrows at him, scratching the back of her neck to stop her from getting irritated.

"For what?"

"You said you'll hang with Sadie today while I'm at college, then when I'm back you can spend time with me." He cheekily smiled, being selfish for once. She wanted to blush but she looked down and avoided it by picking up an article of clothing that was on the floor and chucking it in the washing basket in the corner of her room.

"Even if I say no you're still going to make me, right?"

"Even if I have to drag you out of here myself."

Millie sighed, really, really not in the mood to be playful when Finn clearly was. She didn't know why she felt so on edge that morning, maybe it was the frustration of knowing that Finn was seeing someone else, maybe it was the sheer terror of her father sitting across the hall. There was a list of endless possibilities that she just couldn't be bothered or mentally able to get into.

Finn also didn't want her to leave within the next five minutes as he knew that Iris was due to come and pick him up. She offered to drop him to college and wouldn't take no for an answer. He accepted graciously.

So, he watched Millie pick up her phone and slide on a pair of shoes before disappearing into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She avoided the mirror again, she couldn't be bothered with her appearance and once she saw her reflection, she'll probably feel obliged to make at least a slither of an effort. She dragged her feet out, even her stamina and posture and atmosphere was downright negative and Finn felt this while standing at the other side of the room.

Should he say something? It was clear that she wasn't ok.

"Are you ok?" He finally asked after wondering for a few minutes. He just watched her do a few bits and bobs around her room, waiting for her patently. He didn't mind though, something about the way she moved was enticing to him. There was a constant frown across her eyebrows like nothing satisfied her, he would love to see the look of satisfaction on her face, he silently swore that one day he'll make that happen.