Hi everyone! I am so sorry that you had to wait all this long and I am not happy btw about this at all it is absolutely not my style but I am so busy that I had every night only 5 hours to sleep than head to work and than to the renovating at home so my day was very long and my nights were very short!
I hope you all like this chapter. I am not happy with it cause it is kind of a chapter in between action...
I dedicate this to all my readers who stuck patiently with me especially Palakjain1 who kept me reminding that I need to write! So here you go enjoy....
love mourgana0704
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Chapter twenty two
Loss
Previously
“Yes sweetie, why are you calling me at 3 am? Is something wrong with Heru? Should I come?”She asked her voice all filled with worry.
“No. He is fine but I have realised something!” I stuttered.
“What?”
“It was my mistake!” I replied.
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BPOV
I sighed and took a deep breath. “ Feli, it was my mistake! It is my mistake” I corrected myself.
“Bella, I do not understand what is your mistake?”
“We have lost each other.” I started to sob und tears followed eagerly running down my cheeks. I was standing in our kitchen. Looking through the window up towards the cloudy sky. The moon was shimmering through them.
“Bella, hun. I still can’t follow!” Feli sighed in the phone. “Do you want me to come over?”
“No. No. I am sorry. I think I finally realised what I am doing and what I am doing to Heru” I whispered crying. I was a mess. I was broken. I was mourning over my lost love… I didn’t want to let him go. My heart felt cracking like porcellain.
“Bella, are you still there? Hello?”
But it was too late. Too late… “It is too late. Feli. I have hurt everyone! I am the reason that my baby is growing up without his daddy, that I lost everyone… I am sorry. I am gonna hang up now!”
“Bella, please speak to me!” Feli pleaded.
“No. I am fine. I have to find something out?”
“OK? Then I will see you tomorrow, right?” Feli asked unsure if she should hang up.
“OK. Tomorrow. Bye”
I hung up. Hugging myself I cried silently whilst pacing back and forth. I was sitting on the floor and hoping that the tears would wash my pain, my sorrows away. Suddenly I felt a little Hand on my cheek.
“Heru? Baby? Did I wake you up?” I was rubbing my eyes and my nose with my sleeve. Oh I must look not only like a mess..no like a crying crazy lady.
“Momma, why are you crying?” He asked looking at me with his huge beautiful emerald eyes.
“Do you feel my pain?” I asked him and he nodded. “I am sad cause I am the reason we are alone! I am doing this to you, to us. I broke us!”
“No Momma, Daddy is a reason too.”
“I know but we should have worked it out. Instead I ran away. I was weak! I didn’t fight for us. I wish I could take everything back! But I can’t”.
Fresh tears running down and falling on the sweet little Head of Heru whom I hugged tight and kissed his head constantly. Like I wanted to comfort him but it was me whom I wanted to comfort.
