Fifty One

990 21 2
                                    

*Ava’s Pov*

It takes time to heal, nothing anybody can say or do will speed up the healing time. You have to be patient, wait for everything to blow over before you can repair yourself.

Being hurt by somebody you love doesn’t just knock you down, it sucks the life from inside you until there’s nothing left.

I’ve learnt one thing whilst trying to move on, the past can’t hurt us, unless you let it.

I also learnt about 10 very important moments.

1.   The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache. 

2. The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad Pinterest quotes.

3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom.

4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter. 

5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself.

6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn’t want it, need it or God prevented it. 

7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don't want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honourable.

8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.

9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.

10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.

These moments have helped me, helped me mend my broken heart and keep my family together.

Although Connor broke my heart and I wished to never have to see or speak to him again, I realised, I have a child with him, I can’t shut him out, it wouldn’t be any good for Alex.

Alex knew that when I broke down every night it meant I was in pain, he’d sit with me and attempt to tell me stories, this hurt the most, he was reading to me instead of me to him.

The love for my son grew stronger and our relationship grew wider.

He’s aged a year since it all happened; he learnt that his parents were never meant to be. Even though through thick and thin Connor was my loyal partner, he also cheated on me, causing me more pain than happiness.

I tried to forgive him, I really did. It just didn’t help me, I thought that maybe if I just forget about what happened we could move on together and he would stay with me like we planned.

  It didn’t work well, he couldn’t cope with what he’d done to the family and he left me. He packed the rest of his things and moved back to America.

 My house in England is better than it could ever be in America, it’s not too big but nowhere near small. It has four bedrooms, Mine, Alex’s a spare room and an office.

Hurt shouldn’t pile up inside of someone. No one should suffocate beneath pain on top of pain. You should have time to breathe, time to scream it out until it doesn’t exist anymore. I learnt this from my dad, he’d been there for me since the breakup.

Because of all my pain and blocking people out, I didn’t notice how ill he was, until it was too late. He did die, this also sent me into a breakdown. Losing both your parents by the time I’m twenty five isn’t what you call easy.

I learnt to live with it, I focused on my life and not other peoples and I also took away any negativity.

Connor doesn’t see much of Alex anymore, he hasn’t seen him for six months and Alex now realises that his dad doesn’t care much anymore. This isn’t easy to explain to him since he’s only four but things will get easier when he grows up.

The last I heard Connor was dating somebody called Jessica, she’s a model who lives in California,  beats me any day then.  

I’m not dating, still single. I haven’t even been with a guy since Connor. I couldn’t, every time I even try to imagine myself with one Connor’s face appears and knocks me out of my thoughts instantly.

The rest of the boys are very supportive, I’m closer with James than I ever have been, he basically lives at my house, It’s never awkward and he’s there for me and Alex when we need him.

He’s tried to make a move a few times but when I tell him I’m not ready he understands and just tells me he’ll wait.

Considering what’s happened the past month, life isn’t too bad anymore. I’m happy with the people I have around me and the things I do.

/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\//\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Hi guys, you're probably wondering, why's there another chapter? well i've decided to not do a sequel and just carry on the story with this book

Vote&Comment

Brave| Connor BallWhere stories live. Discover now