Everything Happens At 2:04 AM

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Shame Didn't Exist In My Vocabulary.

Dedicated to Maria daydreamingxoxo for the cover at the top! Thank you <3

Chapter Thirty-Nine: "Shame Didn't Exist In My Vocabulary."

"TURN THIS WAY," I told Krystal. She did as I asked as we looked at the camera and a million pictures later, Krystal put my phone on video already pointing at it. I heard her mumble along to the rap music playing from my speakers, a song I didn't recognize but it got her amped with every pose she did in front of the camera, making me laugh.

Nathan walked into the room in the middle of our photoshoot completely unfazed by the sight of me still in my morning wear and Krystal in her robe that was opened and showing her bikini. He held a hand to his chest, the other one held out towards us. "I'm absolutely blown away. Wow, models."

"Why thank you." Krystal beamed and I cracked a smile, taking a seat at the table next to him.

"Sounds like something Caleb would say," Krystal suddenly muttered before glancing at me. "Have you seen him lately?"

I was fast for my answer, despite the sudden awareness of my heart pounding in my chest at the mention of Caleb. I didn't make eye contact with Nathan as we were all sat in the kitchen of my home. "Nathan's in town, I had to make sure he was feeling welcomed."

That wasn't even the issue.

On top of Nathan coming to Los Angeles, I was busy.

Krystal took the chance to entertain him while I would be gone doing multiple things for work, reviewing documents, attending meetings for the upcoming movie, answering phone calls and doing interviews for past movies, endorsement deals-the list went on and on but it kept me on my toes.

Besides, Caleb was even busier. I had managed to get a couple of text messages from him over the past days, but he was stuck in meetings to pitch ideas, meeting up with different people, attending conferences and doing work of his own.

Did that stop me from thinking about my feelings for the guy?

Not even a little bit.

I managed to come up with thoughts imagining the two of us really together. Not like us fake dating where it only showed up on the cameras but for real.

Most of it comprised of a large bed outside and only the stars and moon out, making me sigh in content at the dream that wouldn't become reality because mosquitos in this summer weather were going to ruin that.

Other thoughts comprised of the little things that came with a boyfriend. From the handholding to the little kisses and gestures that made one smile without knowing. I wanted that again but it would be so different with him. He was a great guy-sure with a past that clearly affects his present and little ups and downs of his personality that borderline goes from completely endearing to totally annoying. But even at the word boyfriend, only his face popped up in my mind.

I was practically whipped, and it made me happy and cringe in unison.

It was like a crush. That infatuating feeling of butterflies in your stomach and one person on your mind at all times and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get it out.

I almost cursed myself for falling for him and actually wanting something out of it now. Zen was right. I felt more like myself now than I had been years ago, and I was ready for something more. Two serious relationships later and I was considering a man who wasn't anything like anyone I've ever dated. No one was more strange, random and theoretical like him.