Fighting For Freedom

Chapter 6 Part III

Jessie

As I sit here alone in the room waiting for her to return, I replay the events in my head and try to figure out what it all means, but for the life of me I cant. I only know what I feel and Im not even sure about that. I mean, I have never really had friends and definitely no one that has ever made me feel anything like I just felt, but then again, I have never kissed anyone but her before. I just dont know what it all means! Before I realize it, about twenty minutes had passed. I was starting to worry that she wasnt ever coming back, and on top of that, I am supposed to meet Jay in about twenty-five minutes at the park. I got up and walked out the door. I had made it halfway to the nurses station when the doc came around the corner.

She looked at me and said, Jessie, where are you going? I still need to remove your stitches.

Well doc, I thought you werent coming back, so I was just going to leave and come back later. I thought you might have gotten busy and forgotten about me. Besides, I have plans in about twenty minutes.

She kind of cocks her head at me like she is questioning what kind of plans I have. After all, Im not a people person so I guess she thinks that I have nothing going on, ever. The more she looks at me this way and the more I think about what just happened and the fact that I have been waiting over twenty minutes for her to return, the angrier I get. Im not sure why, but Im not sure of anything anymore.

She obviously can tell that I am getting mad because she lowers her voice and says, Jessie please, lets go back into the room so that we can talk and take care of those stitches. I promise to have you out of here in fifteen minutes, twenty tops. Just give me a chance. And by the way, I could never forget about you.

Fine, whatever! Lets get this over with! I exclaim, and with that, I walk back into the room and hop up on the bed.

As the doc walks in the room, I can tell she doesnt know what to do or say, which is new. She always has something to say unlike me. I never know what to say or do, for that matter, when it comes to socialization. I try and look her in the eyes, but she wont look at me. Instead, she looks at anything but me.

Whats wrong doc, the cat got your tongue? You always have something to say. It is me who is usually the tongue-tied one.

She turns her back to me and begins pulling out the instruments she needed to remove my stitches. While she has her back to me, she mumbles, Im sorry, I shouldnt have kissed you. I dont know what is wrong with me today. It was a mistake, I shouldnt have let it happen for so many reasons.

Really, doc?! You sure know how to sweep a girl off her feet and then stomp on her ego and heart! What the hell! I was mad now, I could feel the monster wanting out but this time I refused to let it take over.

Jessie, I didnt mean it like that!

Then what the hell did you mean!? Remember Im an idiot when it comes to emotions, and right now mine are all over the place.

Im sorry. What I meant was that kissing a patient is against the hospital rules. Along with being unethical, it maybe even be illegal.

Whatever doc, I have been wanting to do that for a long time now and I thought it was amazing but then you said it was a mistake. I dont know what is going on. On top of that, I think I may like Jay. I just dont know what is going on, I am confused all the time.

Im sorry Jessie, I should never have let that happen no matter how bad I wanted it to!

I start to reply, but when she turns back around, I can tell from the look in her eyes she is all business. She makes short work of removing my stitches and never once looks me in the eye. Ive really reached my limit now! I dont know what to do. I look at my watch and see that it is past time for me to meet Jay at the park, so I mumble a thank you and bolt out the door before she can say or do anything. I think it is best if I put some distance between the good doctor and myself.