Find My Way Back To You

Chapter 20

--- PAST KILLIAN'S POV ---

AN: (1) There's been questions about whether Killian (in the future) misses Emma and Hope by now, but actually he doesn't know, that they aren't there – unless Emma never makes it back to her timeline. It's like in the S3 finale, when no noticed Cs was gone. When and if Emma and Hope jump forward in time again, they'll go back to getting ready for Hope's first adventure on the Jolly Rodger and to everyone else it'll be like they never left in the first place. So, Mary Margret and David from the future don't know anything about Emma's future and Hope either (before Emma announced her pregnancy, engagement to them etc.)

(2) This is basically just the last two chapters in Killian's POV, which is why I updated this story earlier than I usually would. Also I don't know whether I'll be able to update this next weekend since I'm moving. I'll try, but I can't make any promises.

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Swan arrive at the tavern. For possibly the first time Smee actually had a great idea, when he told me to check this place out. I never would've run into Emma otherwise, so thanks first mate. I always enjoy spending time with Emma, even if she's often yelling at me.

I'm still confused about the way she acted earlier since she doesn't seem to remember our kiss this morning – or she at least pretends to not remember it – so lets check out if she still thinks that way. Maybe her bad mood has faded by now and she's ready to talk about what the bloody hell happened between us this morning on my ship.

I keep sitting on my chair, but I turn a little to have a better view of her. She is drinking a glass of rum in one go. As soon as she sets her glass down, she orders another one, which I can't help but chuckle at. That's when she noticed me and turns in my direction, glaring daggers at me in the process. Swan is obviously still not in the best mood. I hope it's not because of our kiss, which she's trying to forget. I know she's not too fond of me – our earlier conversation on main street proving as much – but she can't regret our kiss that much, right? I can't have been the only one being affected by it. At least it didn't seem that way on my ship. She was obviously not against it – back then I even thought that she might have enjoyed it. And she did trust me with the baby – her daughter whose existence makes no sense since Emma never mentioned her before. And she wasn't pregnant when we met either.

Anyway, I won't figure out what's wrong with her, while dumbly staring at her and being confused, so I get out of my seat and sit down next to her. She sighs sadly, but I act like I don't notice. It's probably better to not act differently around her because then she'll start running away again and I don't want that. I need to figure out why she's so upset. Maybe I can even help her with her problems – that is if she lets me. If she is willing to let me help, there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. I'm aware that we hardly know each other, but there was something going on between us. It's probably because we're both orphans, who never had much love in their lives. We're like kindred spirits in that area.

"Looks like someone is trying to forget things. Look, I have a few better ideas of how to get your mind off things." I smirk at her and raise my eyebrow, signalizing just what I have in mind. I don't expect her to agree with my suggestion of us having some fun. But I feel like she'll be more comfortable and more likely to tell me the truth, if I just act like the pirate I am – I did act like this before when I promised her that when I jab her with my sword, she'll feel it. She doesn't like it when people get too close to her, so I have to very careful. I can't let it show that I actually care about her well-being.

Emma just glares at me before emptying her glass once again and moving to a booth near the door. I suppose she probably does it to get away from me, but I just take it as an invitation to sit there with her.