Find My Way Back To You

Chapter 17

--- EMMA'S POV ---

Henry continues to stare at me weirdly and it takes all of my inner control to not run up to him and hug him tightly, never letting him go. Sure, it is also bizarre for me to see him so small. I am used to being in the past by now, but it's still a surprise. My little boy is only 10 again, which makes me really emotional, so I have to be careful not to start crying. My pregnancy hormones still haven't passed and Whale said that it could take quite a while. I don't want to shock Henry even more – or worse scare him with my extreme emotions. He isn't used to me being emotional since my walls were still so high back then, that I ever allowed anyone to see me struggling. I sometimes got vulnerable with Henry, but that was also a rare exception. It only happened when everything got too much.

I look at Henry now and try to memorize every single detail about him. Like I could take a mental picture now and then it would become true in my own timeline. I miss my little boy every single day. He's so grown up now. I wish he never would've left Storybrooke. When he left, he was still a kid – my sweet little boy – but then he came back as an adult with his own kid in tow. Don't understand me wrong, I do love Lucy a lot – she's a great granddaughter and I know how happy she makes Henry – but I also selfishly wish that Henry would still be as old as he was when he left. I feel like I am far too young to be a grandma and I also already missed so much of his life in the first ten years, and now I missed another big section of his life. It hurts a lot. Like I said, the only reason I keep going are my baby and my husband. I love my little family, but I just wish it was complete – I wish Henry would still live with us. Nowadays it feels more like he's a visitor than a part of the family and I hate that.

But I can't ask him to move back into his childhood room. He has his own life now – his own family – and he's old enough to make his own decisions. Sometimes loving someone means to letting them go. I don't want to force him to do something he wouldn't want. I love him to much to cause him any kind of misery.

All this makes me understand my parents better. I always did in a way because I missed the first ten years of my son's life, too, but now I understand them even better because I missed even more. My mom's obsession with my wedding and the baby make much more sense to me now. Sometimes I realize, that I've been far too cruel to them for the first few years after we were reunited. I kind of resented them for having to grown up all alone in the system, when they were only trying to get to know me and still feel like they're a part of life. They meant well, and I saw that as a threat and pushed them away again and again. The person I should've blamed instead is Regina for casting the curse in the first place.

"Wait. I don't understand. Since when does my mom have a twin?" Henry says, while looking between both of his grandparents and Emma. "And how the hell didn't I know about it? There's no way grandma can keep a secret. Normally when she knows something no one else knows, it only takes like 10 minutes for the whole town to know it too." I almost laugh at that statement. I thought the same thing just a few minutes ago. Henry really is my son – not that I ever doubted it. I wouldn't want to exchange him with any other kid either. Him and Hope are the best children a mother could wish for.

My dad begins to explain, but my mom shushes him and hits him with a wooden spoon. "Quiet everyone, the baby is sleeping. You don't want to wake her. She's had quite the adventurous day, so she needs some rest."

I wave her off. "It's okay. She's a pretty good sleeper for her age. Once she's out, she sleeps for a few hours at a time and talking can't wake her. If anything it kind of soothes her more since she's used to falling asleep during a story." But at the smallest other noises she wakes up easily. I wish she would be as good of a sleeper as teenage Henry. I bet he could've slept through an earthquake without being bothered at all.

Henry looks at me with even more surprise, but also excitement. "And I have a cousin, too?" Nope. But he might one day, but that's in the far future. I'll make sure of that. I won't let any stupid girl hurt my brother. They'll have to deal with me first before I'll let anyone near him. I'm sure my dad will help, if he's just half as enthusiastic about it as he was with me.

All I really know is, that I'm already far too protective of my little brother, so I assume it'll get worse, when he starts dating. The thought itself makes me cringe. My little brother isn't allowed to grow up. He needs to stay all cute and adorable forever. God, I miss him so much.

I walk towards Henry and shake my head, before sinking down on my knees to be at eye level with him and I start putting my hands on either side of his face. I missed this, too. Now when I talk to Henry I have to look up and stand on my tiptoes to hug him. He's grown up far too quickly. I mean he was as tall as me, when he was just 14. "She's not your cousin. I know what I'm about to tell you will sound weird, Henry, but I know that if anyone believes me for sure, it'll be you." At least I hope so. I mean he does love all the stories in his book and he's got the heart of the truest believe, so I'm really not worried. "I'm your mom, but I'm from the future. Your little sister accidently sent us back in time and now your mom and your grandparents will help me to find my way back home."

Henry looks at me for a second with wide eyes, before a smile spreads on his whole face. "Really? That's so cool."

I chuckle. Now that's the boy I remember. My little believer.

He hugs me tightly and I return the favor with pleasure. I finally have my little boy back in my arms. Now I'll definitely cry, I think, and a second later tears begin to stream down my face.

Henry pulls away and looks at me sadly. "Are you okay, mom?"

"Yeah. I'm just very emotional lately." I smile at him, cupping his cheeks once more.

The Henry's smile covers his whole face again and his eyes light up like the stars. "So, do I really have a sister?"

"Yeah. Her name is Hope. You can meet her once she's done with her nap." He'll love her a lot. I know since his older self does. I remember the day, they first met. I was still in the hospital with little Hope, when Henry arrived in Storybrooke. When he couldn't find us at home, he came straight to the hospital after he called Killian. His smile, when he first had her in his arms was brighter than I've ever seen him smile.

"Dinner's ready." My mom says from the dining table. I haven't even realized, that she had set the table and brought all the food until now. I got too distracted by seeing ten-year-old Henry again.

The dinner passes pretty uneventful. Henry asks a bunch of questions about his sister and I answer them gladly. It's kind of weird how excited he is about it now, when he didn't really care that much in our timeline. But I guess it's because he's still small, while Henry moved out and left the realm by the time I got pregnant. He probably didn't feel as connected to her until he met her as this carefree ten-year-old version of him does.