Find My Way Back To You

Chapter 11

--- PAST EMMA'S POV ---

As my past self talks about how I would never ever abandon Henry again, I realize how much she must know me. That just proves, that she can't be me besides the obvious things like the baby on her arm earlier. I mostly don't really know myself too well. This woman only claims to be me – that must be the case. I mean who could honestly believe in time-travel. It's weird enough that magic exists. She is probably some delusion witch, who pretends to be me out of spite or boredom. She's probably stalked me ever since I got here to Storybrooke in order to get to know me. She must be very good at that, too, since I always thought, I don't let anyone see who I really am. Except maybe Henry at times – he wouldn't do this though. He's a great kid. He doesn't really count here anyway. It's different with him. He's my son and I love him a lot, so I know that he's trustworthy. He'd never break my heart on purpose since he loves me, too. Otherwise he wouldn't have been so insistent on keeping me here in Storybrooke with him. He would have supported my decision to go back to Boston. He wouldn't have eaten the apple turnover and he wouldn't have almost died. It kind of seems like he's better off without me.

"Oh no. Not that face. Please don't shut me out again. Don't build up your walls even higher than they already are. I could tell that you were beginning to kind of trust me." The crazy person begins putting her hand on my shoulder again. But I pull away and get out of the car.

"Why would I trust you? You're obviously insane. Just leave me alone and stop claiming to be me. I know myself that none of the things you said could possibly be true. You're a delusional liar."

I start walking towards the town line, but just when I'm about to cross it, the imposter pulls me back. She must have gotten out of the car and followed me without my knowledge. That does support my crazy stalker theory. She does have good stalking skills.

"Emma, stop please. Don't cross the town line. You don't even know, if you can cross it and come back. What if you turn into a tree once you leave Storybrooke?"

I scoff and roll my eyes at her. Am I really supposed to buy that story? I was always the one person who could leave the town no matter what. Why should that change suddenly?

"Leave me alone."

She opens and closes her mouth for a few times. She stares at me as if I'm the most stubborn person in the world, which just proves that she doesn't know me. I'm not stubborn, I just know what I want right now and there's no way I'll change my mind. That would require me to believe her stupid story and I won't do that. Not even in a million years or if someone would give me billions of dollars for it – for that amount I might pretend to trust her for a few minutes, but that's all.

The fake me approaches me again and this time puts both her hands on both of my shoulders. "I know all of this scares the holy crap out of you, but that doesn't make it a lie. I really am you – from the future. I'm not lying to you. I admit, that time travel is hard to swallow, but I'm just trying to help you now. You might be used to doing things on your own and having no one to depend on, but that doesn't need to be your life anymore. Many people in this town care a lot about you and you don't need to shut them out all the time."

When will she shut up? I swear if she continues that way, I might just start to believe her. I can't do that. It would mean I'm just as insane as she is.

"I don't need any of the people here. I do better on my own."

"You're mistaking happiness for content. You really should let some people in – like you did with Henry. You don't regret that, do you? Because facing all your fears was worth it. Love is a part of all happiness and you have to be open to that. Otherwise you might never know what it's like to be truly happy. I know my arrival with my baby" I cringe at the mention of her daughter. I'm not the least bit ready to have another child – especially since I don't really want one. There was too much physical pain as well as emotional pain involved. My pregnancy with Henry pretty much messed me up – thanks to that asshole ex of mine. I'd worry far too much all the time, if I were to ever get pregnant again. "freaked you out, but I promise you: The future is nothing to be afraid of." She smiles at me – or maybe at a memory, I can't really tell – and runs her hands down my arms to take my hands in hers. "I'm probably not supposed to tell you this since the timeline is already in grave danger, but your future isn't looking too bad. All you have to do in order to have a nice future is trust me right now." 

I wish I could believe her. I honestly do since she seems to believe in me, which is a first. But I don't know how to trust. I'm far too messed up by my childhood. All my life people have been letting me down starting only a few minutes after I was born. There's no logical reason for that to ever change.

"How does trusting you ensure my future anyway?"

"I doubt that the future will be the same, if I stay here. I need you to help me get back home and to cast a forgetting spell over the whole town, while I'm leaving. Sure, we could work together without trusting each other, but it would be far harder."

I don't even have magic – not really anyway. The only magical thing I have is the protection spell over my heart. For all I know Gold could've cast that to ensure I don't die before breaking Regina's precious curse. They did seem to have worked on it together after all – at least according to Mary Margret and David. Who knows how often they lie to me. It's not like people tend to be honest to me. But I don't think they would this up. They'd have no reason to. Not one that makes sense anyway.

"What makes you think I can help you?"

She tilts her head and sighs. This must be harder for her than she expected. I wonder why she still sticks around though. Most people would've given up on me by now. Or not even bothered at all. Maybe that's a sign to trust her. She does act like she cares after all, so why would she go through all this effort just to hurt me. She might do that if we were enemies, but I don't even know her, so I doubt that she's got an ulterior motive.

"I know you don't like to hear it, but you're the product of true love. You have magic – very powerful light magic. The time portal that took me here was created by my daughter, who is the product of true love in second generation. So, I believe that together we might just be strong enough to recreate that portal."

Wait? Second generation...does that mean her daughter is a product of true love, too? That can't be true. I'm a loner. There's no way I'll ever fall in love – much less true love. But oh well, I'll just roll with the story for now because that future me seems to be very nice and genuine about her offer. I don't want to cause her any unnecessary pain. Her plan probably won't work anyway. So, I can teach her the truth without hurting her feelings directly. She'll realize that all of this isn't true and then I can go back to my old – but still crazy – life.

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I'm currently on a family vacation for the next three weeks, so I don't know when I'll be able to update. So the next few chapters could take a while. Sorry.