Find My Way Back To You

Chapter 28

~~~ EMMA'S POV ~~~

Hope and I have been trapped in the past for a whole month now. Every day I lose more and more confidence, that we'll find our way back to Killian.

Why does time-travel have to be so freaking complicated?

Probably because it hasn't been done yet – only twice. And somehow, I'm lucky enough to have been part of it both of those times. It just doesn't feel like a whole lot of luck. I hate it actually.

I just want to go back home to the rest of my family. I see them here, but they're so different. It doesn't feel like my family is here at all sometimes. Just some other people, who might act similarly as my loved ones. They also treat me just the same, I suppose. But this still doesn't feel like home.

I can tell because I miss my version of Storybrooke. I miss my future.

I don't know how long I can go on like this. It's hard.

I just want my husband back. He's someone I can't even really hang out with here since it'd be suspicious. We weren't friends back then, after all.

I just miss him so bad.

Luckily, Hope doesn't seem to be aging, despite us having been here for a whole month. She still looks like that cute 3-week-old baby. She also hasn't learned anything new.

That's great since it means, Killian isn't missing out on anything - except spending time with us.

I wouldn't wish that on him. I know how it feels like since I gave Henry up. I do have some fake memories of raising him from birth, but those aren't real. I never got to see him grow up because he deserved his best chance and I couldn't give that to him.

And it feels even worse knowing, that now I missed another big part of his life.

I don't want that to happen to Hope and Killian, and it seems like it won't. Unless, of course, we never make it back to Storybrooke. That would suck.

But Killian wouldn't notice then, would he? Because the future would never be the same.

If I'm stuck here forever, I'll never get married to Killian in the first place and Hope won't even have been born. Will she just vanish one day?

I hope not. She's my only real happiness in this place.

Except maybe Emma. She is kind of like a twin sister to me. I love that. I will miss her once we're gone. I can tell it's going to be hard for her to say goodbye, too. At least until I erase all of her memories.

Then, it'll be like we never existed at all.

She isn't enough reason to stay here though. I wouldn't do that to her since me being here might mess up her happy beginning, too. I can't risk that.

She deserves to be with Killian and Hope one day.

So, yeah, I have to find a way back home. It can't be impossible, right? I just probably haven't tried hard enough yet.

"Emma?" Mom's voice surprises me and I almost jump.

I mutter Shit under my breath.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." She says quietly while approaching me. "I was doing some laundry and found these in your pockets. I thought, that I should give them to you."

She puts both my engagement ring and wedding band in the palm of my hand.

I smile gratefully at her. "Thank you."

She smiles in return and sits down next to me on the bed. She looks at Hope, who is lying in her crib. She has her eyes open but is completely quiet. She must be exhausted. She hasn't slept much for a while now. I can tell, that she isn't happy here either. She misses her dad.

I play with the rings by rotating them around my finger. I don't even notice until mom looks at the rings.

"They're beautiful, Emma." She says softly.

"I know. My husband has got a good taste." I smile proudly. He really does have really good taste. But what did I expect? He's a pirate after all, so of course, he knows good jewelry.

But I can't tell the past version of my mother.

"I'm glad you're happy." She says. "Emma was so broken and lonely when we first found her. She still is. Sometimes I was worried, that she was never going to be okay. That she'll never be happy. Thank you for showing up and showing me, that my baby gets what she deserves in the end."

"You had doubts? Wow. That's scary. No wonder I was so lost back then. If not even you were sure, I'd find my happy beginning. You are like optimism in human form."

Mary Margret nods slowly like she's afraid I'm going to get mad. I'm not though. I might've reacted that way a few years ago, but now I don't see this as an attack.

"Hey, it's okay that you worried about me. I never thought, that I'd ever be more than a lost little girl, who didn't matter. But then Henry brought me to Storybrooke. For a long time, I didn't realize this, but he wasn't bringing me home to break a curse. He was bringing me home. He brought me back to my family." A few happy tears run down my cheeks.

I can also see some tears forming in Mary Margret's eyes.

I take her hand in mine and look at her with meaning.

"I'm not mad, that you were worried about me. It only means that you care deeply about me, which I really appreciate. Thank you."

I hug her tightly.

Then we hear the front door and Hope starts crying. I pick her up and cuddle her. She calms down immediately.

A few moments later, Emma comes running up the stairs.

"Is everything okay? Did I startle her?" She asks worriedly.

"A little, but it's fine. She's okay now."

Emma sighs and reaches out her arms. I give Hope to her and she cradles her head while balancing her on her hip.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers into Hope's ear.

I run my hand down Hope's back. A mistake, I realize too late.

It only takes a moment until Emma's eyes fixate on my rings. This is the whole reason I didn't wear them - I didn't want to freak her out and now I failed at that.

To my surprise though, Emma seems okay. She even has a soft smile on her face.

"It's okay, if you wear them, you know? I know about you being married anyway, so there's no need to hide them from me. I won't freak out."

Wow. She's making progress. Maybe our combined magic will get me and Hope back home after all. Maybe she'll be able to control hers soon. Who knows?

"Thank you." I hug both her and Hope.