Find My Way Back To You

Chapter 22

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--- PAST EMMA'S POV ---

When I first start talking to Emma about Hook and me meeting up last night at the Rabbit Hole, I'm still wary – not wanting to give away too much. Keeping all my feelings bottled up worked out well for me in the past. It's how I've always survived. I do better on my own after all. When you let no one in, they don't have the power to hurt you.

But soon I realize, that it feels good to talk to Emma. She was right. I can somehow trust her, and she could give me some advice, too, since she probably went through the same thing a few years ago. She might know how to get rid of Hook and my conflicting feelings for him.

Feelings might not be the right word since it sounds far too romantic, but it's the best way to put it. I did almost kiss Hook, but that meant nothing. He was being nice for a small amount of time and my brain tricked me into thinking that he cares about me. Let's just call it a brain malfunction or a plain mistake.

Thankfully the bartender's interruption made me see clearly again and now I'm all better. End of the story, right? Nothing left to worry about, but why can't I stop thinking about it then?

"I have no idea what the hell happened yesterday, you know. It confuses the hell out of me. To be honest, it freaks me out – like a lot." I say quietly. I don't even know if Emma hears me. I'm not a person for sharing personal stuff, so when I actually do it, I do it very quietly in hopes of no one hearing a word I say.

Emma stands close to me though and she's listening carefully. Her hand is still on my arm and she gives it a little squeeze.

"What happened at the Rabbit Hole?" Emma asks softly, her voice full of concern. That confuses me a lot more than I like to admit. Shouldn't Emma know everything about me because we're literally the same person? Or are there worse things in the future, that make this irrelevant? I'm afraid to even ask Emma, so I decide on telling her. Maybe – hopefully – that's the only reason she asks. She might only want me to get all of this off my chest.

"Hook was being his annoying self. I was trying to avoid him, but he obviously wouldn't let that happened and followed me around the bar. You know, the usual."

That's still the easy part. It's okay to talk about this since it means nothing. It's just an everyday situation. The hard part will start only now. And as much as I like how Emma is actually listening to me and how she cares about my happiness, I'm not ready. Not quite yet. So, I stall a little and take a few deep breaths – half to buy myself some time and half to collect my thoughts, which seems nearly impossible today.

Why the hell did I get myself into this mess again?

--- EMMA'S POV ---

So, all Hook did was be his usual self aka the biggest flirt in town. He was just throwing his innuendos at her? That can't be it, right? I know I was guarded back then and never let myself be vulnerable with anyone – except Henry in some situations. But I wasn't that bad. Not even nearly. Sure, I was annoyed by Hook, too, back in the day, but it never freaked me out. I was mostly amused by it – not that I would've had admitted that to anyone back then. In public I just rolled my eyes whenever he was being a flirt.

But this is good, right?

If Emma is only freaked out because Hook wouldn't give her space, when she was sad, then I might've not screwed up my relationship just yet. I should be fine if I proceed with caution. Which means not talking to Emma about our future – well her future.