Confessions

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I heard a knock on my door.
"Who is it?"
"It's Lance," the person responded.
"Oh, come in." I quickly tucked a picture of Adam under my pillow.
"Hi." He stood awkwardly in the threshold.
"What's up?"
"In theory this seemed like a good idea." He laughed nervously. "Okay, so you know how Sam's been preaching about not keeping secrets?"
I nod. "Yes?"
"I need to get something off my chest. Shiro, I like you, like a lot, and I just needed to tell you. I'll see myself out."
"Wait Lance. I like you too."
"Really? Is it just a grief thing?" His eyes went wide as he heard what he said. "Sorry."
"I- no. We broke up before I left for Kerberos. Since you became a paladin, I liked you."
"Oh."
"Maybe we do coffee tomorrow afternoon?"
He smiled vaguely. "Sure."

I pick Lance up about noon. He seems more jittery than usual. It's a good jittery. I drive us to the cafe on campus. His bouncing leg shakes the whole table. He's nervous. I'm impressionable. Quite a dynamic.
At some point I worry about his shaking, so I put my good hand on the knee that's bouncing. He turns a shade of red I've only seen on tomatoes.
"Don't be nervous," I say, pulling my hand away. "It distracts me from your pretty face." He smiles sheepishly and takes a discreet deep breath.
"Sorry," he mumbles.
"No! No! Don't be!"

Lance's birthday rolls around. Since he's now legally able to drink, Matt, James and I take him to the closest LGBTQ+ bar.
Lance is a lightweight, to put it nicely. He's dancing wildly, but it's good. He catches me watching from the bar side and grins. He walks over to me, his back against my chest. His hands go around my neck and he starts dancing on me.
"Lance, baby, you're wasted," I mumble to him.
"I know." He turns to me and kisses me.

It's time. I don't have time to tell Lance good luck or stay safe or even an I love you. Sam wants me on the Atlas as soon as the Lions leave. I'm worried for him. I do a routine check-in.
"Keith?"
"Here."
"Hunk?"
"'Sup."
"Pidge?"
"Heyo."
"Allura?"
"I'm here."
"Lance?"
No response.
"Lance?"
I hear coughing.
"Lance! Do you copy?" There are tears in my eyes as I choke on my words.
"Here."
"You okay, Lance?"
"I'm not going to die, but that sure didn't feel good."
"What happened?"
"Veronica and I took a rough hit."
"Is she good?"
"Yep."
"Be careful, Sharpshooter."
"Will do."

The Lions are back. I run out to the deck. Lance runs into my arms. He cries into my shoulders.
"Baby, it's okay, it's over," I whisper into his hair. He lets go and wipes his face.
"You good? Atlas took some hard hits."
Suddenly I'm light headed. "Y-yeah."
I hit the ground.
I wake up to a familiar face. It's Lance. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot. His face is splotchy. His eyes meet mine. He puts his face against the bed and his shoulders shake. I reach out faintly to put my hand on his arm. He looks at me.
"I'm glad you're okay."
"Me too."
"They said you were in an astral plane piloting Atlas so your body took on the fatigue."
I nod. "Sounds about right."
He frowns and smiles at me. "Just take it easy, okay? I think they might have me leave because they think I'm stressing you out."
"No!" I say childishly.
Lance grins at me. "I'll try my best."

I wake up at home a few days later. Lance's arms are wrapped around my waist like his life depends on it. He's still asleep. I gently try to slither out of his grasp.
"Shiro?" He mumbles.
"Baby, I have to get up."
"Why?"
"I have to use the bathroom."
"No." He latches onto me tighter.
"Lance. I'll be back in like ten seconds, unless you want me to piss the bed."
"Fine," he mutters, letting me go.

We're at dinner awhile later with his family.
"I love having you around Shiro, no offense, but Lance, why do you always hang out?" His mom asks. Veronica eyed the two of them frantically.
Lance looks at me and I hope my eyes say 'go ahead.' He takes a deep breath. "We're dating, Mama, like romantically."
"I've been calling Shiro a boy this whole time? My bad."
"No, no, Mrs. McClain, I'm a boy," I say.
"Two boys? In a relationship? No, no, no, what is this?"
Lance put his hand over his mother's. "God still loves us. It's legal. We're happy and committed. What's the problem?"
She sighed. "Mijo, I don't know. I love you but this will take some time."
Veronica nodded at both of us. Lance seemed okay. We get in the car. He takes the driver's seat. He puts his forehead against the steering wheel.
"Lance," I say as his shoulders begin to heave. I don't know what to do.
"My dad-"
This was a touchy subject. I know this. His dad had died while we were away. He definitely didn't ever want to talk to it.
"He- I told him I was bi over some break and he didn't take it well."
"I'm sorry."
"I didn't give him time. I gave up on him, Shiro. He died while I thought he hated me and he was a bad person. I- it's- I don't know."
"It's okay, Lance."

And for once, I believed it.

WC: 928

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