Voltron OneShots

Blue's Curse

TW: night terrors, self harm, suicidal ideation

Lance was always good at acting. So he'd act like he wasn't hurt when Allura or Shiro scolded him. Like it didn't feel like being stabbed when Pidge told Lance to stop messing around. Like he didn't feel like throwing up when Hunk pushed him away. Like he didn't want to cry on the spot when Keith got mad.
It had repercussions, but then the other paladins wouldn't see how weak he was, how useless and soft he was. They couldn't see that he had the emotional capacity of a toddler.
So he'd cry at night, in his shower. Drop the facade and let everything, the face, the hurt, drop down the drain. He'd try to forget he'd let down his team, his family, his teachers, his friends.  It never worked. Constantly, the blades that he knew were in the medicine cabinet would taunt him. Occasionally, he would give into their song. He would do one for every time he'd messed up since the last time. He put them in places he knew wouldn't be seen. He didn't deserve help or support. Or, at least that's what he told himself.
So, tonight, as he turned off the shower, he opened the medicine cabinet. He took out the blade. He hesitated for a moment, watching it shine in the fluorescent light. Then he stuck out his pale wrist and pressed it against it.
"Lance!" A voice shouted, opening the bedroom door. Lance jumped and dropped the blade on the floor. It was Keith. "Lance?"
"Hey, Keith!" Lance tried to sound friendly. "Just got out of the shower, but I'll be out in a moment."
Keith's footsteps continued toward Lance. Lance fumbled to hide the blade and clean up the mess, but Keith moved quickly and Lance's hands were shaking. Keith was eventually standing in his doorway.
He took a moment to look at the mess, "Lance." Keith seemed to soften in the moment, inducing sad eyes and a frown. Lance looked at Keith's face. He'd never seen him that upset, besides when Shiro was gone. Lance opened his mouth to say something- anything- but nothing came out besides a choked sob. Keith caught Lance before he made it to the floor. He held him tight against his chest as Lance cried against his shoulder. He managed to lead Lance to his bed and make him sit down.
"How'd you- hic- know?" Lance tried to stop the tears.
"Walls are thin." Keith shrugged. "Allura warned us about something she called 'Blue's Curse' which is basically a heightened probability of mental illness and stuff like that."
"Oh- hic," Lance leaned against Keith. Keith gently took Lance's wrist- the one that was closest to him- and turned it so the paler part faced upwards. Lance tensed at first, and then kind of relaxed. It was red and irritated, scarred and scabbed.
"I'm gonna get the other paladins in here," Keith stood up.
"No, Keith," Lance grabbed his arm. "Please."
"Lance, they have to know," Keith looked apologetically at Lance.
"I know. Can I tell them- in the morning?" Lance pleaded.
"You have to do it, Lance." Keith gave in.
"I will." Lance smiled. Keith turned and gathered the dropped blade, then searched the medicine cabinet and every other inch of the bathroom for anything that Lance could use against himself.
"Are there any more?" Keith asked.
"You're trusting me?" Keith nodded. "My nightstand." Keith pulled two more from his nightstand.
"Is that all?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, good night, Lance." He walked towards the door.
"Will you stay with me?"
"What?"
"Will you stay here with me?"
"You want me to?" Lance nodded. "Okay. I have to get rid of these first. I'll be back in a minute."
Lance waited for Keith patiently. Or not so patiently. The voices in his head had stopped since Keith hugged him. Or Lance could stop them, he guessed. He saw the cut he made earlier was still bleeding, so he found a bandage and some gauze and covered it. He also noticed that he still had just a towel wrapped around his waist, so he changed into his comfiest PJ's, the Earth ones he's always carried in his bag, for emergency naps.
Keith came back. He sat tentatively next to Lance on the bed.
"Do ever miss home?" Lance asked after a moment's silence.
"Yeah," Keith admitted, "But never too much."
"Oh."
"Do you?"
"Yeah, I miss it a lot."
"Why's that?"
Lance shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't disappointed everyone in space yet, unlike I have on Earth."
"Has Pidge not shown you the Earth news yet?" Keith exclaimed.
"No, what?"
"Your family, they've started whole movements to bring everyone, especially you, back. They've made at least a dozen speeches each about how proud they were of you. They're not disappointed, Lance."
Lance sat speechless for a moment. Then he laid down. He was too worn down to even say something.
"Do you want me to stay?" Keith asked.
"Mhm," Lance mumbled, nodding.
"Do you want me to sleep on the floor?"
"No," Lance muttered and shook his head.
"Do you want me to sleep in here?"
"Mhm."
"Where do you want me to sleep?"
Lance simply rolled over to one side of the bed.
"You want me to sleep with you?"
"Mhm."
"Okay." Lance didn't think he'd actually agree.

Lance fell asleep as soon as Keith turned out the light. Keith's mind was spinning wildly, like a piece of paper in a tornado. He must've been up until 1am.
Lance had a bad dream. The team was fighting Haggar. She got inside his head and replayed all of his teammates' harsh words and was able to turn him against them. Lance woke up sweating and shaking. The clock read 2am.
"Lance?" Keith sleepily asked.
"Bad dream, I'm fine," Lance said, then laid back down. He faced Keith's back.
Keith turned around. "What was it about?"
"Haggar was trying to turn me against the team."
"How?"
"By just- er- replaying everything mean anyone's said."
"That would never happen, you know that, right?" Lance bit his lip and didn't respond. "You're too good of a person to be turned on us. You'd be too strong for Haggar to even get close to you. Plus, we'd never let her get close to you."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Thanks, Keith."
"Of course."
The gap between Keith and Lance closed and they were lowkey cuddling. Lance was little spoon, of course.
"Keith?"
"Yeah?"
"I may or may not, like, be in love with you."
"Good to know."
"Why?"
"Because I may or may not be in love with you."
"Specific."
"I know."
And with that, they fell asleep.

The next morning, Keith and Lance woke up for breakfast. Keith kept reassuring Lance that everyone would be supportive and understanding. Lance was anxious and ready to get it over with.
"Guys, I need to tell you something." Lance said from the doorway of the dining room.
"A bad joke?" Hunk laughed.
"Listen, guys," Keith warned. Everyone shut up.
"I-I've been s-s-self harming."
"Oh, Lance." Most everyone stood from their seats and hugged Lance as he cried.
"How about we discuss this further after breakfast?" Allura suggested after a moment. Everyone agreed, a little hesitantly albeit.
Coran and Hunk made waffles just to cheer everyone up.
After dinner, they all proceeded to the lounge, where Coran pulled out the brain connectors. Everyone, even Matt and Romelle, put one on. Lance's memories of nightmares and cutting himself and crying in the shower played behind closed eyelids.
"Lance, I- we didn't know," Shiro said.
"It's okay," Lance said, quietly.
"Yes, you did!" Pidge stood up. "Allura warmed us about this. We knew he was sensitive to that! And we failed him, as a team and as a family." Lance held Pidge's arm, and brought her down to the floor again. She leaned against Lance and sobbed. Lance wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Pidge," Lance whispered.
"We're sorry, Lance," Allura said.
Everyone apologized and Lance assured them it was okay. They all moved to the couch and fell asleep in a pile.
Lance was leaning against Keith's chest and Pidge was laying across Lance and Hunk's laps. Matt was next to Keith, by Shiro. Allura fell asleep against Hunk, and Romelle was leaning against Allura.
Lance felt happier than ever.

WC: 1405

A/N: Happy ending? I'm not too cruel. No one died ahah.