Becca's Moments

Chapter TwentyFour

Becca

It had been a week since Tanisha's death and I hadn't seen Kayden. We'd barely spoken—he was finding it hard to communicate—but I wanted to give him some space, anyway.

Grieving was a funny thing, and everyone handled it differently. When Mum passed, I shut down from everyone and banished all emotion entirely. Kayden was the complete opposite; his auntie's death had opened the floodgates. The only similarity between us was that we preferred to be alone when feeling so vulnerable.

Work was pretty dull since Kayden was off on compassionate leave. There was no more flirting in the stockroom, no silly games to pass the time, no nothing. Well, Stacey and Nathan were still entertaining in their own right, but it wasn't the same.

Natasha had picked up Kayden's shifts, which meant I saw her a lot more. She'd gotten used to my fuck-off attitude and was even adopting it. We made sure to get most of our work done early so we could relax for the rest of our shift.

I remained by the till and absentmindedly served customers while I thought of Kayden. I remembered the anguish on his face, masked by sheer anger and resentment. The worst thing was I knew he aimed the resentment at himself. I related to that feeling all too well.

I almost grieved with Kayden. Although I never had the chance to meet Tanisha, I could tell she was a special woman by how much he adored her. And now they were both connected in the cruellest way. For him to lose her on his own birthday was a sick joke.

"How much?" I glanced up at the young teen holding her purse. I realised I was still on autopilot and had scanned the tracksuit without actually mentioning the cost.

"Forty," I muttered.

I zoned out as she paid, my thoughts going back to Kayden. This was it, right? This was how Kayden would be for a while. Although everyone grieved differently, the length of time was always the same. I couldn't expect him to bounce back in the space of a week, it just wasn't realistic. But him being sad will affect me as well. Was that selfish?

No ... I just want him to be happy. I want us to be happy.

Eventually, my shift was over. I said my goodbyes to Natasha and handed my keys to Mohammed. Drake was waiting for me as I exited the store.

He looked handsome in his usual attire—khaki cargo trousers, black Air Forces, a black Nike hoodie, a black fur-lined parka and his signature Hershel backpack—and he smiled as I approached him. He gave me a massive hug. "You good, Punjib?"

I'd almost forgotten our nicknames for each other. I gave a weak smile. "Not bad. Should we go?"

He motioned to the bus stop just a few yards away. "Ladies first."

Soon we were on the top deck of the bus heading south. Drake was speaking but I couldn't focus. It had been like this for three days now, I couldn't seem to concentrate on one thing. It was as if I was tethered to Kayden, mirroring his emotions. I knew something was wrong when someone barged passed me in college today and I didn't react. My body was present, but my mind was elsewhere. I wonder how long this would last.

Drake paused mid-sentence and frowned. "What's wrong?"

I turned from the window to see his concerned gaze. "Just feel a bit down."

"Turn that frown upside down, baby girl." I laughed at his camp voice. He dug into his trusted backpack and retrieved a bag of sweets. "Wanna share?"

My smile was genuine this time, and I nodded before dipping my hand in the bag. I pulled out a pack of Haribos. "Thanks, Shubdi. Where are we going again?"