Every Last Tear(s.m)

Chapter Eleven

**Alaska's POV**

I wake up to a pounding on my door. Annoyed, I go and answer it.

"What?" I say tiredly.

"Damn, someone's not a morning person." Cam smiles at me.

"Yeah, I know," I say even more annoyed, "what do you want?"

"Liz told me to wake you up." He explains.

"But it's too early..." I whine.

"Um, it's like 2:30..."

"Yeah, too early." I say, walking to grab my phone off the bedside table.

"ALASKA GET UP NOW!!!" One of the girls yell.

I walk out of my room and into the living room.

"What?" I ask them.

"You can't sleep all day." Avery says to me in her perky voice, someone's been up for a while...

"Why not? You guys all suck."

"Go get ready, we are going to the beach." Jordi says.

"Um, I don't want to go..." I say, looking down at my arms and tracing over the scars, remembering I cut on my legs too.

"Please?" A voice says from behind me.

I turn around and see Shawn. Memories from last night come flooding back to me, the date, the kiss, it was all so perfect, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Fine." I say, wiping the smile off my face and going into my room, closing the door.

I put on my pink and black bikini and over it a pair of white shorts and purple a tee shirt that says 'don't talk to me' in blue letters. I go into the bathroom, put on waterproof makeup, and put my hair in a messy bun.

I grab my beach bag, a few books, a towel, my sunglasses and put on my flip flops, going back into the living room only to see everyone waiting on me.

"Let's go." I say to them and they all make their way to the door.

"I like your shirt." Shawn smiles at me.

I look down at it and smile myself.

"Thanks, I thought it fit the occasion." I respond and he laughs.

Shawn and I walk together, hand in hand. And I don't pay attention to anything except for how happy he makes me. Cheesy, I know, but it's true.

When we get to the beach and I already hate it. It's way too hot. I know that sounds weird coming from a girl who lives in Texas, but come on, I don't actually go outside, unless it's to and from another air conditioned place.

"Ew, outside..." I say as we set our stuff down under an umbrella that I led the group too.

"Would you shut up and enjoy it?" Avery asks, looking at me in disappointment.

"Ugh..." I say, laying my towel out in as much shade as possible.

Everyone walks towards the water and I lay on my towel, not taking off my shorts so I don't risk anyone seeing my scars.

I'm reading The Fault in Our Stars, for probably the twentieth time because John Green is life, and I'm at the part where they meet the douche bag author,(sorry if you haven't read it or seen the movie) when a shadow covers my light.

"Excuse me, your blocking the sun." I say annoyed.

"Come in the water with us! Please?!" I hear someone beg me, I look up and see Shawn, covered in water, leaning over me.

"Hey, watch it! If you get water on my book I'll stab you!" I say, gently placing my book mark in its spot, and setting the book in my bag.

"Come on!" He says pulling on my arm.

I sigh and stand up, "Fine, I'll meet you down there." I say and he nods, walking back to the water.

I turn away from the others and take off my shorts, looking down at the cuts, wondering if they'll judge me.

I walk towards the water and put my feet on the damp sand when someone picks me up and brings me farther out. I look up.

"Dammit Mendes! Put me down!" I yell, and he smiles.

"Okay." He says and drops me into the water.

I come back up to the surface and smack his arm.

"What the actual fuck!" I scream at him and he just laughs, of course. I walk back to shore and I see the surf board rental shack.

I walk over and get a board, returning back to the water and paddling far out, waiting for a wave.

After a couple of minutes of waiting in the slightly calm water I hear a voice.

"I didn't know you surfed." Shawn says to me, sitting on his board next to me.

"Yeah, no one except the girls knew because we haven't gone to a place where I've had the chance to, until now anyways."

I look at him, and he's starring at me, I grab his hand and pull him closer to me, I lean in to kiss him and then push him off his board.

"Payback's a bitch." I smile as he comes back up to the surface and sits on his board again.

After a while and there are no waves to be seen, I lay my back on the board, trying to tan a little and Shawn stares at me again.

"What?" I ask him, sitting up.

He looks at my legs disappointed. Fuck! I completely forgot.

"Th-there are more..?" He asks, trailing off.

I don't even answer him, he already knows the answer. I paddle back to shore and return my board, going back to our stuff and putting my clothes back on.

I start to walk back to the hotel when someone grabs my arm and pulls it back softly, stopping me from continuing down the street.

"What?" I ask as tears start to form in my eyes.

Then he pulls me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm going to help you through this, okay?"

"Okay." I say back, as a few tears escape my eyes.

"I love you, Alaska." He says, pulling away from the hug and wiping my tears, then leans in to kiss me.

"Should we get back to the others..?" I ask him once we break away.

"Probably." He answers, turning us around and grabbing my hand.

He loves me? Why didn't I say it back? God I feel horrible.

*****

Hey lovely people, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I just wanted to thank you for reading, it means a lot to me.

If you are going through a hard time right now, I just want you to know that you don't have to go through it alone, because I'll always be here. I don't want you to feel alone, I have too many times before, and it honestly sucks. Keep going, it'll get better, I promise. ~Alaska<3