Every Last Tear(s.m)

Chapter One

Please note that I do not promote self harm and If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here<3

**Alaska's POV**

I sit in my room, looking at my phone. Hate. That's all I fucking see.

You will never be good enough.

Ew why do you even try?

Ugh just stop.

Piece of shit.

God, do you purposely try to make people's ears bleed?!

Whore.

Fucking stop.

If these are your dreams, I feel bad for you.

Slut.

Ugly bitch.

You are unwanted everywhere.

Go cut yourself.

No one likes you.

Kill yourself.

Do us all a favor and quit trying.

No one will care when you're gone.

That's it, I can't deal with this anymore. I stood up and walked into my bathroom. I'm home alone, my family went to my grandma's for the weekend. Now is the perfect time.

I take the blade I swore to my best friends I would never pick up again and flipped it around in my fingers, feeling the cold metal against my skin again for the first time in what feels like forever.

Sitting against the bath tub, I pulled up my sleeve, looking at my old scars. Tears are streaming down my face as I look up at my phone and see more and more hate comments flowing in. 'I can't take it anymore' I think to myself. I hold the blade up to my wrist and push it down.

One cut.

Two cuts.

Three cuts.

Four.

I drop the blade and put my hands over my face, crying. But then I hear a gasp. I didn't even know someone came in. I look up and she stands there. Her hand over her mouth, tears brimming her eyes. Shit... Avery.

"Alaska, you promised..." She barely makes out, tears falling from her eyes.

She reaches into her pocket and I already know what she's doing. She's texting Jordi and Elizabeth. She's telling them I broke the promise I have kept for almost a year.

She puts her phone down on the counter. She sits by me, picking up the blade and throwing it to the other side of the bathroom. I just sit there crying with my hands over my face. The front door opens and I hear feet running up the stairs, then they walk into the bathroom. I don't look up, I just sit there. No one was supposed to find out....

She comes up to me and pulls me into her chest and I know just by this movement that it's Jordi. I cry even harder, knowing that I didn't hurt just me, but them too. She sits there holding me. A couple minutes later Elizabeth walks into the bathroom. Avery is now going through all of the drawers and cabinets, collecting all the blades I had hidden from them. 15, I had hid 15 blades from them for almost a year. After I run out of tears to cry, I push away from Jordi. I look around, all three of them were huddled around me, they were crying too.

"Alaska, you were so close to a year. You broke your promise..." Jordi says, finally breaking the silence.

"Why did you do it?" Elizabeth speaks up.

I simply unlock my phone and hand it to her. She scrolls down and then throws it on the ground.

"I told you not to believe this shit! Everywhere you go you'll get hate, it's part of life. If you keep doing this, I will have no choice but to delete your vine. And I know you don't want that to happen because you love posting covers on there." She says sadly.

"Okay, back to square one I guess." Jordi says.

"Alaska," Avery says, I look up at her. "You are not ANY of these things, do you hear me? You are amazing, talented, and you will have people that care when you're gone. I love you, we love you. We only want to help you, but we need your cooperation." She finishes. I nod my head and they help me up.

I sit on the counter while Jordi cleans the blood off my arm, Elizabeth went to the store to get something, and Avery takes all 15 of my blades and flushes them down the toilet.

"I wish you wouldn't let them get to you, 'laska..." Jordi speaks up.

"They're just jealous." Avery chimes in.

Jordi unlocks my phone and pulls up my vine.

"See this?" She says pointing to my followers. "These people care about you, they love you. All those other stupid bitches who comment rude ass things are just doing it for attention. 850K followers, people that love your talent. Don't give up." She puts my phone down and wraps my arm.

Elizabeth comes back with a bag and hands it to me. I look inside.

"Markers?" I ask. A package of red markers.

She nods her head. "Every time you feel like cutting, draw where you feel it's needed. Let the markers mimic the blade." She explains.

"We are all staying here until your family gets back." Jordi says with a concerned look on her face.

"Okay." Is all I can say.

I broke my promise.