The Substitute Teacher

Part 48 ~ What If

~ Michael's point of view ~ 

I can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. First of all, how can my mom talk to me like that and slap me in the face in front of Ariana?? I will never forgive her for embarrassing me like that. . .

I was so excited about coming back home and telling my mom about Paris but I also felt the need to tell her the truth . . . I don't know why . . I guess that's how she raised me . . to always be honest and truthful . . but I should've just kept my mouth shut . . I guess that's what I get for being honest . . a slap in the face . . I was gonna tell her everything . . I had it all planned in my head, word for word what I'm gonna say . . I was ready to put everything on the table . . to have clarity for my parents, for Ariana and for myself.

I shouldn't have left . . I should've stayed and . . . no . . actually . . it's good that we left. My mom doesn't listen . . she only hears what she wants to hear and she only accepts what she wants to accept. I guess that's kinda why I didn't want to tell her the truth in the first place . . you never know how she's gonna react but how can I keep something this big from her? . . she's my mother . . I wanna be open an honest with her . . . but I guess that's just not possible . . . my mom can be the sweetest, most understanding person ever . . but when she's against something, she will let you know without holding back. I park the car in front of my house. Ariana unbuckles her seatbelt and hugs me. We sit here hugging each other for a while . . then we get out and go inside. . .

~ Ariana's point of view ~ 

I'm all chocked up . . seeing Michael cry is something I just can't stand. The way she slapped him was horrible. . . not just a slap like 'are you crazy?' more like 'ARE YOU F*CKING CRAZY?!' . . .I can't believe how angry she was . . she was furious . . she didn't even look at me . . not once!

We're sitting on the couch in total silence . . . Michael is brushing his thumb up and down my hand. I just wanna hold him and kiss him and tell him that I love him so much . . but I don't think he wants to hear that right now. I have no idea what's going on in his head . . . as much as the thought of us getting a divorce hurts . . I would understand it if he wants to go through with it . . I don't want his mom to hate him.

I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. . he loves me too . . everything I always wanted f*cking became reality . . why does there always have to be something to f*ck it up? . . he loves me!! he feels the same way I do . . . and I can't even fully enjoy it  ='( 

"Michael . . . what are we gonna do? :("

"I don't know" He grabs my face and kisses me gently. I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth of his lips. . he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him. I love his touches. . I love his hugs . . they're so warm and real. He doesn't just wrap his arms around me, I feel much more than that. . . . . my love for this man is real and strong. . it burns inside of me. 

I know I'm young . . but my love isn't . . I love Michael . . I love him with all my heart. . . If he wants to get divorced, I'm ok with it . . . no, I won't be OK with it but I'll accept and understand it . . . but letting him go? no way . . my heart beats for him . . there is no way it'll still beat withouth him by my side . . . do I sound like I'm in love? . . . well I am. . . never like never before.

"Michael, I don't want you to feel this way . . ."

"Feel how?"

"I don't want you to have this huge problem with your mom . . you love her, she is so important to you . . who am I to come between you two? . . I love you . . I love you more than anything in this world but I want you and your mom to get along too . . ."