The Baker Boy (Harry Styles) Book 1

Chapter 20

Maedbh’s POV

It was odd being so torn emotionally. To have so many opposing feelings trapped inside of you at one time. Making you feel like you were going to burst. How is it possible to still care for someone that had completely betrayed you? I’d learned how to mask it fairly well. To push the emotion down deep where no one could see it. But I was tough. I could do it. I’d done it at my old school when people had mocked my intelligence, I could do it here where people would snicker about how I thought I stood a chance with Harry. The one thing I was thankful for was that the fight between Harry and Luke drew the attention off me. Everyone was talking about how Harry just exploded on Luke, slamming him into the locker. The rumours going around on why were outrageous. Everything from Luke trying to make a move on Gemma to Harry being jealous over a girl Luke pulled at the party. Only a few people who were close when the fight broke out had a suspicion about what really happened.

I walk into class a tad reluctant since it was Harry and Luke’s first day back after their suspension. These past three days have actually been pretty easy. No one was picking on me with all the drama with Luke and Harry going around. I could practically see people taking sides. If I weren’t caught up in the middle of it, I’d actually think it was pretty funny.

I see Harry walk into the class and I look over, a lump swelling in my throat again. I really did want to forgive him, he seemed genuinely sorry but at the same time, he’d lied to me. He’d tricked me and now I don’t know if I could trust him at all. I realize I’ve been staring at him when he looks up and meets my eyes. I quickly look back down at the extra credit assignment in front of me. I look back up again as I hear Mrs Hanson start scolding Harry, my mouth twitching into a smile as I see his face turn red. I was glad to hear that Luke wouldn’t be in this class though. It was a relief to know that I’d never have to worry about dealing with both boys at one time. I glance over at Harry again, trying to use my hair to create a curtain between us so he couldn’t see when I looked at him. Mrs Hanson starts her lesson but I can’t concentrate. Instead, I chew on my lip as my mind turns over the problem. He had come to apologize at the hospital. If he really didn’t care would he have really sought me out like that? But at the same time, if he could fool me that easily, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again? But he got into a fight with Luke over it. That had to mean something right?

The bell startles me out of my thoughts and I start packing up my things as people file past out the door. I glance over and realize Harry, someone who’s usually one of the first out the door, is still packing. It strikes me he might be trying to leave the same time as me and I feel my heart start hammering at the thought of talking to him. I had no idea what I’d say. I quickly stuff the last of my stuff in, not bothering to close my bag as I hurry out of the room.

I take a breath as I get to my locker, feeling safe knowing he didn’t follow me out. A part of me wonders what would happen if I did start talking to him again. Would things be able to go back to the way they were? Would we be able to at least be friends? I try to shake off these thought as I head to my next class but it doesn’t work well. The entire class I’m aware of those around whispering and I know that the topic is Luke, Harry or me. None of which I particularly wanted to hear about. I hurry out of class when it ends, idly thinking about the fact that school, the one thing I used to like, is now a place I dread going to, as I hurry towards the cafeteria.

I pause inside the lunchroom though seeing Harry sitting at our usual seat. He must have just sat there by habit. I momentarily think about taking my lunch to the library but decide that would be taking the cowardly route out. I take a moment to steel myself before walking over, taking the seat across from him. He looks up; a shocked expression crossing his face as he sees it’s me.

“I haven’t forgiven you,” I say cutting him off before he can speak. “I just figured since both of us would have ended up sitting alone, we might as well sit alone together” I say. He nods his head eagerly, a faint smile appearing on his face. I study him for a moment, trying to determine if I actually wanted to do this, before sighing and pulling out my book.

“What are you reading today?” he asks hesitantly, as if unsure whether I’d suddenly decide to start hating him and yell at him.

“The Notebook” I say trying to keep my voice neutral as I show him the cover.

“That’s a book?” he asks surprise in his voice. I bite back a laugh but can’t help the smile that twitches onto my face.

“Yes, it was a book first” I say, not being able to help the amusement that registers in my voice. “He’s written loads of books actually. This one’s my favourite though because Noah has to be the perfect guy. What other guy would write a letter every day for a year to a girl who wasn’t even responding?” I feel my face heat up as I realize that I’m going on about him to Harry who was just watching me, a curious expression on his face. I quickly put the book up infront of my face, pretending like I was absorbed in the book to hide my red face. We don’t speak for the rest of lunch but it’s more of a comfortable silence than I thought it would be. I chew on the corner of my lip, keeping my eyes trained on my book, as I begin to wonder if it might actually be possible to forgive him.

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Writing this part was a lot harder than I'd expected. While I haven't experienced exactly that, I had something close to it happen to me so I thought that would make it easier to write but it actually made it harder because I couldn't find the exact words to use to describe how awful it feels. To care about someone but hate them at the same time for what they did to you. But yea, so anyways, let me know what you thought! Vote and comment please! I love reading everyone's comments, even if it is to tell me that my story sucks haha.