Dead Giveaway

What a Young Girl Shouldn't Know

Thankfully Undyne and Sans calmed down. Pretty sure if Undyne hadn't calmed down then the house would be on fire. We all stood around the living room eating pie. Mom's pie is not something you can sit down and enjoy. You better be walking all over the house eating that shit. Everything was calm when Sans and Toriel suddenly glided into the center of the room.

Sans called told everyone to quiet down and stay still for a bit. Undyne ended up leaning against a wall and I followed suit. Once everyone was in place he sat next to Mom, holding her hand.

   "We have very exciting news to announce" Sans said, grinning ear-to-imaginary-ear. Mom smiled warmly and nodded in confirmation. I saw Alphys squeal and tuck into herself.

   Heh. It was almost like when human couples announce that they're preg- oh hell no.

   Wait. That was impossible. Two different species can't have a kid without some seriously freaky science shit going on. And if Alphys had managed to help them with.... that, then they'd have her helping to announce it. That's just the kind of people they are. Besides, Sans doesn't have genitals. No balls equals no sperm equals no fertilization of eggs. Whatever the news was, it wasn't pregnancy. 

   "I'm happy to announce that I am pregnant!" Mom gushed.

What the fuck

Papyrus aggressively 'nyah'ed. Mettaton nearly fainted. Undyne cheered. Alphys completely fell over from squealing. Asgore went wide eyed and silent, lookin real fucking depressed. Muffet nodded approvingly, smiling oddly warmly for Blooky kinda hovered, being his confused ghost self. Asriel and Frisk danced around each other, chanting about new siblings. Monster Kid danced around, not seeming to know what was going on, but wanting to join the fun.

And me? I was ready to kill Sans. And I didn't even need a knife this time.

In the midst of all the cheering and congratulating I managed to catch Sans's eye.

"Hey Sans can I talk to you iiiiiiiiiii....." I strung out the word, looking for an escape. I realized that the front door was my only option. "....iiiiiooonnnn the porch?" He shrugged and I started dragging him towards the door.

Once we were outside with the door firmly shut, I lost it "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY MOTHER". I yelled.

"Kid relax it's just-"

"You don't-"

"That's not how-"

"And she can't-"

"You aren't even-"

"You don't even have a dick!" I finally said, at last figuring out the words.

He kind of chuckled at that. "Well no, no I don't. Not one that can actually produce sperm anyways. I have an ecto-body, but that didn't come into play here".

I began to pace the porch. "I mean with her and dad I understood it because they're just goats so it's just like raging barnyard sex and it makes sense. You however are a completely different story and I have no fuckin clue how-"

"Kid please stop. The neighbors are staring. Please stop screaming about goat sex. By their standards you shouldn't even know what sex is."

"I have known what sex is for the majority of my life I lost my virginity when I was two!"

He coveted my mouth with his hand and whispered urgently, "If I tell you how I got your mother pregnant will you shut the fuck up"

I nodded, collapsing into the porch swing. He sat next to me, sighing loudly.

"Soul merging" he said finally.

"Soul what now?"

"How your mom got pregnant. It's called soul merging. It's the only form of monster sex that can create offspring. It's how we get around the no genitals thing. It's kinda cool because even homosexual couples can use it. So if Undyne and Alphys ever decided they wanted a baby of their own, it'd be possible. But anyway. That's what happened."

"...Oh"

"Kid, I'm not gonna hurt your new sibling. I didn't hurt your mom, I didn't hurt Asriel. I jumped to conclusions with you and Frisk. I'm the first to admit that. You had both manipulated each other and I didn't give you a chance, even when you were basically begging for mercy. I'm not gonna make that mistake with this kid. I know you're overprotective of Toriel. But she's gonna be fine. And in 8 months or so when this kid joins our family, I'll be holding her hand every step of the way. I'm not gonna abandon her, or the baby, or you guys. We're a family now."

I stared at the ground.

"You were worried I was just gonna leave, weren't you?"

I nodded. "I've been abandoned too many times".

He sighed. "God, sometimes I forget just how insane your parents were. And how shit that mental hospital was".

"Yeah."

"Well unfortunately for you I'm not going anywhere. You're my stepdaughter now, kid. Toriel and I are gonna make sure you're raised right this time. No getting beat or raped and no getting strapped to tables or locked in padded cells, not this time. I'm not like your birth father. Im not a sick pedophile and I get no enjoyment from seeing you naked, mainly because it usually means you're hurt. And I'm not gonna say anything negative about the big fuzz ball, but I'm not gonna be like Asgore either. I hope you'll understand that I am going to be a dad to you. And all your siblings. I'll be there through the awkward teenage years and the first dates and the first heartbreaks. And I'll be be dad you need me to be. All I can hope is that you'll give me a chance and put a little trust in me. Believe me kid, if I hurt Tori, or Frisk, or you, or Asriel, or the baby, I'd be killing myself because you could even get your knife. You don't have to worry about me. You just get to be a good sister to all your siblings and fight alongside your family in whatever happens next."

Before I could stop myself I had jumped up and was clinging onto his neck. Thin arms wrapped around my back and I sunk into his shoulder. We stayed like that for a minute before I heard him talking.

"Now listen. As happy as I'm sure you are that your mom is pregnant, that means you've got some work to do. You guys have to step up in your training, even though it's only been one day. You have to keep quiet at school, you have to step up around the house. And don't worry, Frisk and Asriel are gonna get this talk too. Don't think I'm singling you out on that stuff. What I am singling you out on is your troublemaking. You've gotta be able to stay out of trouble. If Tori's stress levels get too high she could lose the baby, and I know you don't wanna be the cause of that. Stay out of trouble at school, stop being a little brat at home, just try and behave, okay? Because can I tell you something Chara? I've seen you when you're not trying to constantly be a little rebel. And I know everyone likes the nicer side of you a whole lot more".

I nodded. "I can try"

He chuckled. "I guess that's all I can ask. Hey, while we're alone, come talk to me before you go to bed tonight, alright? Probably need to change your bandages."

I nodded again.

"But you've got like two hours before you have to go to bed. Let's spend some of that time eating pie".

I grinned, already on my way to the door, my stepdad right behind me.