1Dentity (One Direction Affection: Book 1) [Watty Awards 2012]

1: Just a Dream

☆ 1: Just a Dream ★ 

It's the same dream. 

The same dream that I've had since I moved to Sydney. The same dream that's been haunting me for two years. 

I'm standing on the front steps of my old house in Orlando, looking out to the street, watching my parents. Their backs facing me. Like always, I yell out to them and like always, they don't acknowledge me. Instead, all they do is grab their suitcases and make their way down the middle of the street, not once looking back at me. Just like my last dream, they just walk as a thick layer of smoke starts seeping out of their luggage. 

Then, like every time before, the worst part comes.

Their luggage soon catches fire. I open my dry mouth ad yell as loud as I can, but my parents just keep walking as if nothings happening. All I can do is watch as the fire spreads up their suitcases and to their arms like a wildfire to the rest of their body's. 

Then, just before their whole being is consumed by flames. That's when they finally turn and look my way. My heart drops at the sight of them. Instead of seeing my mom's dark hair and bright smile, or my dad's cocky grin and his dark brown eyes, my dark brown eyes, staring back at me, I see nothing. 

Instead, I'm looking straight at a two faceless figures. 

"Mom! Dad!" I scream as they look away and continue back down the street. They were now swallowed whole by the fire.

But the fire doesn't stop them; they just keep walking down the street, ignoring my pleas. Ignoring my calls.

Ignoring me.


My dream shatters and I wake up with a sharp intake of breath.

I snap my eyes open as I feel my insides still screaming. My hands are clenched together in a tight fist. I can feel a bead of sweat making it's way down the side of my face. I wipe it away with the backside of my hand and I manage to I take a deep breath.

"Clam down, Paige. It was just a dream." I say to myself as I sit up in my bed.

But, that's it. It isn't just a dream, it's a nightmare. A nightmare that's somehow warped and twisted itself over the course of two years.

It's been two years since I've seen my parents. Two years since they were deemed unfit to take care of me. Two years since they tried contacting me. Two years since I've heard their voices.

I was sixteen when it all happened, but the last thing I wanted to do was remember. I want to pretend that I have always lived with Aunt Julia and Uncle Mike, but with this consistent dream, I couldn't. There is no way that I could put the past behind me and all hope of moving on is gone. 

But maybe I'm never meant to forget. Maybe the dream is just a way to remind me of my parents, to remind me that I should never forget them. Maybe it's a sign that one day, I will see them again.

But until then, I want to forget. Or at least try to. On the outside I could pretend nothing happened, and so far that is the only way I could deal with it.


I swing my feet off of my bed, slip on my tennis shoes, and make my way downstairs and out of my empty apartment.


                                                                                   ~*~


I let the cool Sydney air calm me as I aimlessly walk through the empty streets. It's past two in the morning and the only people out around this time are drunks, party goers, insomniacs, and me. 

I have no idea where I'm going, I just let my feet take me wherever it deemed fit. Nights like this  are always so calming for me. A moment to clear my head and restart.

It isn't until I feel the hard concrete drastically change to soft sand that I finally notice where I am. I  look up and take in the grainy sand and shore. I'm walking the length of a beach. Which beach? I'm no sure. I've never been a big swimmer so learning all the names of the many beaches that covered Sydney wasn't at the top of my To-Do list when I first got here.

I continue walking down the shore, clearing my head, until I finally decide to stop. The smell of the ocean fills my nostrils and the light breeze blows through my long brown hair. I take a deep breath and sit on the sand, tucking my long legs underneath each other.

I look off at the horizon where the sky meets the endless sea. Standing out here made me realize just how small I was. Compared to the large expanse of the Pacific Ocean, I'm tiny. Practically nothing.

I wonder if there's someone off in the distance doing the same thing. Were they in the same situation that I'm in? For some reason I doubt it, but I like the thought. If someone else can get over their past, maybe I can too and then maybe the dreams will stop.

I don't know how long I stay there, maybe a few minutes or maybe a few hours, but the sudden sound of someone else's voice pulls me out of my trance.

"Nice night, huh?" It says.

I pull my gaze from the ocean towards the voice. It's a boy. I can't really make out his features due to the dim moonlight, but I can easily tell that he's around the same age as me. Maybe a year or so older. 

One thing I do notice, his hair. It seems to be just a massive pile of curls that side swept to the right. I don't know what this guy is thinking, but his hair is a bit ridiculous. Did his mother tell him that his hair would be cool?

He's looking intensely back at me as if he's expecting me to freak out, when I don't say anything he lets out a small exhale.

"Yeah," I finally answer as he takes a seat next to me. I don't look at him when I answer, I turn my gaze back to the water. 

"So, what are you doing?" He asks.

"Oh, you know, nothing much. Just washing my car," I answer with sarcasm sticking to each word.

Sarcasm is always my way of getting out of questions I never want to answer. It's better for me to pretend like I didn't care, than to show that I did. I couldn't just say, 'Oh, I'm just sitting here trying to calm down after a horrible dream about my parents burning right before my eyes. Did I mention I haven't seen or spoken to them in two years?' 

Yeah, sarcasm is way better.

He lets out a low laugh. "Okay, I suppose I deserve that one." It takes me a minute to process what he said, I'm too busy listening to his drawn out British accent. So he isn't from here either. "What I meant was, why are you out here so late? Can't sleep?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I say then before he questions me, I add, "Same with you?"

"No, I came out for a late night swim," he answers. 

"A swim at this time?" I ask, scrunching my nose.

"I prefer swimming late," He responds. 

I could feel his gaze on me. I know he's checking me out and I suddenly become cautious of my exposed legs. Maybe today isn't the best night to wear shorts, which I admit are on the short side. I pull my knee's to my chest, hugging them.

He is still looking at me so I force myself to look back.

He looks familiar. I don't know what from, but I've seen his face before. Maybe I served him today at Shell Diner? Or maybe he's the guy that I accidentally cut off while driving this morning? I don't know. I can't pin where I've seen him. 

You'd figure I'd remember someone with crazy hair.

"Why so late? Don't want anyone seeing you shirtless during the day?" I say jokingly, after a few seconds of silence. 

"Yeah, I can't bare the thought of anyone seeing my four nipples," He jokes and then adds in a more serious tone. "But, if you must know, it's because its the only time I can be alone."

I pause for a second. Is that his way of asking me to leave? "Well, I can go if you want?" 

"Oh no!" He says suddenly, putting his hands up as if to keep me from getting up. "That's not what I meant."

"Oh, okay. Good." I say awkwardly. Part of me just wants to leave out of sheer awkwardness, but I'm happy that he isn't being rude. I don't think I would take kindly to rude people right now.

"Besides, it looks like you could use a good swim," he adds, a small smile playing on his full lips. "Swimming is a good way to clear your head and by the way you were looking out to the ocean a little while ago, I'd say it would do you some good."

I fight the urge to look at him. So, he was watching me before he came up to speak with me. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or freaked out that some mysterious boy was watching me from a distance. Stalker-ish? I can't tell.

I shake my head, finally answering him. "Oh, I don't swim."

He cocks his head, confused. "Don't swim? Everyone swims."

"Well obviously not everyone, because I don't."

"And why not?" He inquires, shifting his body so he was facing me. The moonlight hit directly against his eyes, causing them to shine. It's then that I notice that his eyes are a light shade of green. "Scared are we?"

I raise my eyebrow and smile. "Scared? Not on your life. I just don't like to swim."

"Oh, I get it." He smirks.

"Get what?"

"You're insecure with your body, huh?"

I couldn't help but gasp as he said that. Was he implying that my body was one to be insecure about? I've never been shy. I've never been one of those girls that changed in the bathroom for PE. I 'm not  afraid. I'm tall and skinny. Yes, I thought my legs are too long and my shoulders are a bit too broad for a girl, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. 

"Please," I say, rolling my eyes. "I'm not ashamed."

"That's good," he smiles devilishly. "But now I have to ask you to prove it."

He's challenging me, I know it. I fell right into his trap. I wasn't sure if this was some ploy to get me to swim or to pick me up. I had a feeling it was the latter, but I didn't really care. He was giving me two options; swim or admit defeat and Paige Carter isn't the type of person to give in.

Next thing I know I'm standing up, running towards the ocean as I pull off my shirt, throwing it back towards the mystery man. 

I don't know who this guy is, and in all honesty, I really couldn't care less because all I know is that I'm not thinking about my parents or that horrible dream. My mind's clear for what seems like the first time in two years and there's no way I'm going to let go of that feeling. 

"Last one in loses!"

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Okay, yeah this is a 1D Fan Fic... sorry if you hate these things. My friend loves them and I wanted to write her a story so I figured this was a good idea :D But i admit, the group is growing on me :P

If I get certain traits or characteristics wrong, i'm sorry! I'm doing the best I can :) Also, if i get the timeline wrong, i'm sorry. i'm just going off what I hear and what my friend talks about. I don't know where One Direction is for every second of their lives o.O So just expect things to be jumbled :P

Cover by Katt29! Thank you so much! :D

This is my story, I made up the plot and most characters, the only thing not mine is the One Direction boys, their body gaurd and their songs. So, no copyright intended.