1Dentity (One Direction Affection: Book 1) [Watty Awards 2012]

33: Move On

☆  33: Move On  ★

"You know, if you stare at that screen long enough, you might go cross-eyed."

I pull my attention away from the TV screen and look up at Uncle Mike, who is staring down at me, a small smile playing on his lips. I force a smile in return.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just spacing out," I answer sadly. 

"Apparently," he laughs as he takes a seat next to me. "The TV isn't even on."

I look back at the screen and sure enough, he was right. "Oh. I didn't even notice."

Uncle Mike looks at me sadly. I know what's running through his head. 

It's what he and Aunt Julia have been worrying about for the past two weeks. Am I okay? And the truth is, I am for the most part. Yeah the days are long and the hours are even longer, but I'm surviving and that's all the matters. I'm moving on.

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Deep down I know I'm hurting from the news of my parents and my fall out with Harry. There is no 'getting better' with something like this, but over time, I will learn to deal with it better and that's what I'm planning on doing. 

Uncle Mike wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in. I rest my head against his chest. "Here let me fix that for you," He says as he turns on the TV. "Now, this is how you watch TV."

"Well, you would be a pro at it," I say with a small, forced laugh. "You practically live in this room."

"Well, practice makes perfect. The key is to make sure the TV is on," Uncle mike explains. "Rookie mistake, though I'm sure you'll get it right with practice. I mean, it took me years to master this art form."

This time, my laugh is true. I appreciate what Uncle Mike is trying to do and it's working. He's trying to take my mind off of Harry and the boys and my parents. Yes, as days went on and on, I gradually thought of them less and less, but every time I see a shopping cart or a stoplight, I think of Louis and his dance. Every time I see Uncle Mikes dog, Roscoe, I think of Liam. Every time I see a guy with tattoos, I think of Zayn. Every time Aunt Julia cooks too much food I think of Niall. And every time I see a milkshake I think of Harry and how we will never get that Florida Shake together. 

Or how every time I see a happy couple, it reminds me that that'll never be Harry and I.

As much as I try, there is no escaping the memory of those boys. I can delete all the pictures and phone numbers I want, but I can't erase the moments that we spent together, because as far as I'm concerned they were the best moments of my life. 

"Well, now I understand why you were staring at a blank screen," Uncle Mike comments as he flips through the channels. "There is nothing on!"

He passes a cooking channel, which he stays on for five seconds before changing it to a sports channel, where they were showcasing some fisherman. Since when is fishing classified as a sport? Maybe if they fished some sharks, or possibly some whales, then I may be impressed. Without hesitation, Uncle Mike flips to the next station and when he does, I sit up.

"Wait! Keep it here!" I say quickly.

It is on some music station, a rip-off of MTV I'm sure. It is the five boys that caught my attention. Since the end of their tour I haven't really heard much about them on music channels, but here they are, being talked about right in front of me. I feel my heart sink as the screen cuts to a picture of One Direction. 

Just seeing Louis' outrageous facial expressions, Niall's sweet, innocent smile, Zayn's quiff, Liam's smirk, and Harry's, well, everything; It hurt. It's still hard thinking that I haven't seen them in two weeks and yet it feels like a decade.

"With the North American tour good and done with, these five British lads have been taking it easy," The anchor reports. "Sources say that the boys are currently vacationing and 'taking some much needed time off'. So far they lads have been spotted in countless places, including Venice, Paris and Sydney."

Sydney. 

Did I just hear that right? They were in the city? They were here and they didn't bother trying to contact me? Were they really that upset with me? 

"And here they are, One Direction with What Makes You Beautiful at Number Four," The lady concludes.

The screen quickly cuts to the What Makes You Beautiful Music Video, showing Louis' tapping away on the large steering wheel. I want to look away from the screen. All of this is just reminders of them; of what I had and what I lost. I probably should look away, but I don't. 

I can't. 

"Was that him?" Uncle Mike asks the second Harry comes into view. "The curly boy."

"Yeah, that's him," I answer sadly, my chest stinging as I say it.

My uncle and I fall into a comfortable silence as the tune to What Makes You Beautiful fills the quiet room. I can't help but think back to the day where the boys helped me quit my job. Which at the time seemed like a great idea, but after spending two full days trying to beg Jaime to give me my job back, I quickly regretted it. Lucky for me, Jaime was short handed and he didn't have time to train any new workers so he hired me, despite the scene I had caused.

"Okay, who wants some bluebe-" Aunt Julia stops short.

I look up at her. She's carrying a single pie, which I can only assume is blueberry flavored. Her eyes are trained on the TV and just like that, I know what's coming next.

"Mike, turn that off," Aunt Julia demands. 

Uncle Mike looks over his shoulder and once he sees the intense look in his wife's eyes, he hits the power button on the remote and the screen goes black. "Uh, sorry?"

"Just go set the dinner table, alright?" She says sternly. Uncle Mike unwraps his arm and gets up from the seat, looking at his wife sheepishly. Aunt Julia hands his the pie, "Bring this back in the kitchen-" And when Uncle Mike is almost out of ear shot, she calls over to him. "And don't you dare pick off of it beforehand!"

I hear Uncle Mike mumble something incoherent and I can't help but smile at them. Uncle Mike always seems like a man who won't take crap from anyone and he doesn't, but when it came to Aunt Julia, he was always so easy to give in. However, just like how Uncle Mike listens to her in a heartbeat, Aunt Julia is willing to bend the rules for her husband. I will bet my right foot that half the Blueberry Pie will be eaten and Aunt Julia won't get mad because even when she didn't want him to eat it, she's happy that he is. I guess that's what made them such a good couple; they changed just for each other. 

"You do know he is going to eat it anyways, right?" I ask her as she takes Uncle Mikes old spot. 

"Of course he is," She laughs, waving her hand. "But he wouldn't be my husband if he didn't."

"True," I say.

Aunt Julia studies me. She doesn't need to say anything, I know what's going through her mind. I know what she's going to ask, what she's going to tell me. It's what she's been telling me since them moment I told her the truth. I told her and Uncle Mike the truth about what happened between me and Harry. Starting from the night on the beach, to my conversation with Vincent; to the Fake relationship to finding out the truth about my parents. They were just as surprised about my parents as I were. But, despite how hard it was, I told them everything. I told them every devastating detail. 

And now, she's looking at me with knowing eyes.

I sink back in the couch. "Don't say it," I mutter.

"Say what?"

"That I shouldn't have been watching that," I sigh.

"Well, I'm not going to say that you can't watch them," She says, reaching forward and running her hand through my matted hair reassuringly. "But I just think you're torturing yourself. It's been two weeks and you're still upset."

Of course I'm still upset. How can I just forget? How can I just go on pretending that I didn't have something special?

"I'm not upset," I lie. "I'm fine."

"Paige," Aunt Julia says, giving me a dead look. "There is no ice cream in the fridge and I just bought a tub yesterday. You're not fine."

"Uncle Mike could've eaten it," I offer, knowing fully that I was the one who devoured the ice cream in record time.

"Paige," Aunt Julia says knowingly. "You can talk to me. You know that, right?"

"I know," I answer forcing a smile. 

"Look," Aunt Julia shifts in her seat, looking at me fully. A look of determination settles on her old features. "What I mean is, I know you're dealing with a lot right now. And I know with One Direction and the news about your parents all hit at once, but I just want you to know that you're not alone. Your uncle and I are here for you. We've always been here for you. Paige, you're the daughter that we've always wanted and we love you so much. We hate seeing you like this."

I feel my eyes sting as she says this.

For the first time in two weeks, I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy. I can't even begin to describe how much that means to me. This whole time, I was searching for my parents. I was searching for some sort of parental love, but what I didn't realize was that I had it the whole time, in Australia. With Aunt Julia and Uncle Mike. 

They may not be my real parents but they treat me better than my parents ever have. In their eyes, I am their daughter. And it feels great.

"I love you, too, Aunt Julia," I say as I pull her into a tight hug.

"Now, come on," She says as we pull apart. "Go get ready. You need to get out of this house."




~*~