1Dentity (One Direction Affection: Book 1) [Watty Awards 2012]

27: Underneath It All

☆ 27: Underneath It All ★

I lean back in my seat as the heat of the Florida sunshine hits me. Here I am, back in my home state and just one more concert until I'll be back in Orlando. It's almost too much to take in. Just over a month ago, I was working in a small diner making minimum wage, never did I expect to be in Florida in a matter of weeks.

And yet, here I am.

"Is it weird?" Dylan asks me as he places his soda down on the table. 

We were sitting outside a local restaurant. Dylan and I decided to get a late lunch while the boys were at another Meet and Greet. I figured it was best if Dylan didn't go to it, figuring that all of the fans have no idea who he is.

"Is what weird?" I ask.

"Being back."

I look at Dylan curiously. "No, I wouldn't say weird. It's a lot of things, but not weird."

"Okay, then what is it?"

"It's definitely bittersweet," I explain. "I'm happy to be here, I'm happy to see you again. But I'm sad I can't stay longer."

"Why can't you?" Dylan asks sitting straight up in his seat. "I mean, can't your british boyfriend do something about it?"

"His name is Harry," I correct, then add, "And no, we can't stay any longer."

It's not like I didn't think about this, but once the tour ends, we have one last interview and then we're on the next flight to London, where I'll have a meeting with Vincent about the contract. It was a tight schedule and there was no moving it around. 

"Well, that blows," He says running his fingers through his spiky, brown hair. "When I first got your email, I was so excited. I thought maybe you were coming back to stay, you know?"

I nod my head. 

Dylan has no idea what is happening underneath the surface. If I was here for any other reason, I would be here to stay. There would be no doubt in my mind that I'd want to move back here; I mean this is where I've lived all my life. No matter how much I loved Aunt Julia and Uncle Mike, Sydney just never felt like home. In fact, Orlando never even felt like home either, but I called it that. Orlando was my starting place. It's where I was born, where my parents are, where my life was. If I even want to find out what I wanna do with my life, I have to go back. I had to start over.

But not to stay.

"I know," I agree sadly. "I really do wish I could stay longer."

"I know, I get it," Dylan brushes off. "It's just remember when we had plans to go off to college together?"

"Of course I remember," I say sadly. 

"I wish that was happening," He admits. "We were just going to leave. Once things with your parents started going downhill, I remember just waiting for the day you turned eighteen so we could go away. Run from everything."

"I don't think that would've helped," I say truthfully. "They were nice plans, but that's all. They are just dreams that two young kids hoped would happen."

"I know. But it would've been nice."

"I'm not saying it wouldn't have been nice," I say a bit defensively. "I'm just saying that reality was going to catch up with us sooner or later."

And it just so happens that it caught up with me sooner. Two years too soon. 

"Well, I guess everything worked out for the best for you, huh?" Dylan says in a cheery tone. "Traveling the world with a rich boyfriend and his four foreign friends. That's every girls dream."

If only Dylan knew the truth.

"Yeah, I guess it is," I answer, a smile forming.

"So, what's up with you and British popstar?" He asks casually as he tucks his hands under his head. "Any super foreign plans for after the tour?"

How the heck am I supposed to answer that? I don't even know the answer to that myself. With the tour ending, going back to London could hold so many things for me, I just don't know what.

"I think we're just going to take it easy," I say lying through my teeth. "Take a break after the tour. Maybe visit his parents."

"Ah, the in-laws."

"Well, not technically. Just the parents," I say, trying hard not to blush at that.

"Nervous?"

I shrug. "No, I've already met his mom. She's really nice."

"And would you even consider bringing him to meet your parents?" Dylan asks sadly.

I'm taken back by the question. It's not like I haven't thought about it, because I have. But just the thought of bringing Harry to meet my parents when I haven't seen or spoken to them in two years was frightening. I don't even know what to expect when I get there and I don't want to drag Harry into anything. 

"No, I can't do that," I say shaking my head as I take a sip of my cold drink.

"That's probably best," Dylan agrees. "Considering... Everything."

Everything. Considering my parents are not really parents. Or at least they never acted like parents. They were around, but always either completely wasted or high out of their minds. It was usually the latter, but on special occasions, it would be both. And on those nights especially, that was when my friendship with Dylan really prospered. His house became my getaway. He was the brother that I wish I had. 

If it wasn't for Dylan being there for me, I'd probably end up a lot like my parents. 

"But at least he got to meet you," I say hopefully. 

"Yeah, he sounded happy about that, huh?" Dylan scoffs.

"I know it wasn't the best first impression, but just give him a chance," I almost beg. "He's trying."

And Harry is trying. 

After my talk with him last night, Harry apologized to Dylan and for the rest of the night Harry tried hard to make sure Dylan felt at home. Granted, I know Dylan, he wasn't one to give second chances, it was going to take Harry a lot more than brewing him a cup of tea to win him over. 

"I know," He says, leaning forward in his chair. "I think I'm just going to let him sweat it our for a bit. You know, let him think I hate him."

My jaw drops. "Don't be mean, Dylan," I say as I reach forward and playfully punch his arm.

"Come on, Pai," Dylan laughs as he rubs his arm where I had just punched him. "He deserves it for last night."

I purse my lips as I roll my eyes. "Just don't be too mean, I really like him."

Okay, that is different. 

That was the first time that I've said those words out loud. I was almost shocked that they came out so easily. The second I say them, I can hear the sincerity in my voice. It was almost like I was trying to convince myself. Deep down, I've known that I've always had felt something for him. Even when we were back on the beach, I knew there was something about him. I was drawn in. Just hearing me say that out loud felt right.

And that brings me one step closer to telling Harry.

"I can tell," Dylan says with a smile. "And I'm happy for you."

I reach forward, placing my hand on top of Dylan's, squeezing it. "Thank you. I really want you to like him."

He squeezes my hand in response.

In this moment, I can't be any happier. I'm here in Florida with my best friend and tomorrow I'll be back in Orlando. Not to mention that I have a bus full of people that care for me. And of course, there's Harry. Everything is falling into place and I couldn't be more happier.

"How could you?"

My head snaps away from Dylan's gaze at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. I turn my head and my eyes fall upon a young teen. I've never seen her before in my life. For a moment, I feel like she is talking to someone else, but the second she walks up to mine and Dylan's table, I knew who she was talking to.

"Uh, do we know you?" Dylan asks the girl awkwardly.

"I can ask you the same thing! What are you doing holding hands with Harry Styles girlfriend?" She accuses.

The moment she says that I realize how bad this looks. I quickly drop Dylan's hand and my cheeks flush. This is exactly what Harry was talking about all those weeks ago. I needed to watch myself and now, here I am in this situation.

"It's not what it looks like," I say holding my hands up, trying hard to calm the young girl.

"How could you do that to Harry?" She asks harshly. 

"Whoa, hold up," Dylan says sticking up for me. "Paige isn't doing anything wrong."

"You both are!" She says pointing at us. "I hope Harry dumps you. He doesn't deserve to be treated that way."

Her words stung. Even if she had the wrong impression, I couldn't help but feel my stomach drop when she says that. Just the thought of Harry calling everything off hurts me.

"It's really not that bad," I start again.

"Not bad? You're cheating on him!" She yells.

By now, people have stopped what they were doing and were now watching our little show. I try hard to keep a calm face while my insides were in overdrive. I have no idea what I'm going to do to calm her. She's never going to believe me, because I admit, it looks bad.

"I'm not! He's just an old friend," I say trying hard to keep my cool.

"Like I'm suppose to believe that," she says shaking her head disappointedly.

"Come on, Paige," Dylan's says as he gets up. "We really don't need this. Let's go."

I look between Dylan and the girl. I wish it were that easy. I wish I could just hop up and tell that girl to shove it. But I can't. I have to try and fix this as much as possible because if not, then everything is ruined. Everything.

I turn to the girl, "Look, what you just saw. It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. This guy-" I point back to Dylan. "Nothing! He has nothing to do with my relationship with Harry. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship like that. You have to believe me."

The little girl narrows her eyes at me, looking back and forth between Dylan and I.

But before she says anything, Dylan speaks up.

"And besides, girl, I'm totally gay," Dylan says in a fake, feminine voice.

I have to force my lips shut to keep myself from bursting out in a loud fit. I've heard Dylan's gay voice so many times, but I have to admit, it got better over the years. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but right now, it's definitely a good thing.

"You're gay?" The girl asks giving a dead look.

"Mhm, girl," He says, flicking his wrist. "I'm totes jealous of Paige. I wanna break me off a piece of that Curly Fry."

I try so hard not to laugh as he says this. I have to turn my head to make sure the girl didn't see my amused face. Dylan surprisingly makes a very convincing gay guy, especially when he flicks his wrist.

"Oh," The girl says suddenly, her facial expression going soft. "I didn't know. I just assumed..."

"That's okay, girl. We all make mistakes," Dylan says waving her off. "By the way, your top? So cute."

The girl blushes as she looks down at her plain blouse. "Oh, thanks. Well, I should probably leave you two," She turns to me. "I'm really sorry for that misunderstanding, Paige. I'm a huge Pairry supporter and when I saw you two- well, I just freaked out. I thought it was too good to be true, you know?"

"It's alright," I smile back at her. 

"Again, I'm really sorry," the girl continues. "So I'm just going to go before I embarrass myself even more. Tell the boys I said good luck tonight!"

We say our goodbyes, and just like that she walks down the street. I watch her in shock as she makes her way into an apparel store. I turn back to Dylan with an amused look.

"I can't believe that worked!" I laugh. "Break me off a piece of the curly fry? Oh my god, Dylan, you're a genius."

However, Dylan didn't look amused as he picks up his jacket off of the table. I almost go whiplash from how quick he went from happy to unamused.

"Where are you going?" I ask, suddenly confused.

"Anywhere but here."

I get up too. "Alright, where are we going?"

"I'm going," He clarifies harshly. "I don't wanna 'jeopardize' your super awesome relationship with your boyfriend." 

He's referring to my panic attack earlier. How did that backfire on me? In an attempt to make things right, I screw up anyways.

"Dylan, that's not what I meant." I plea. "You have to know that."

"I think I got the message," He says as he backs away. "I'm apparently nothing."

"Dylan!"

"I guess you don't have time for your old friends anymore, huh?" He says sadly. "Bye, Paige."

And just like that, Dylan walks away.