1Dentity (One Direction Affection: Book 1) [Watty Awards 2012]

17: Breaking the Ice

☆ 17: Breaking the Ice ★  

Over the next two days, Harry didn't say one word to me. I don't even think he looked at me. Whenever we were in the same room, it got really awkward, really fast until one of us would have to leave the room. I don't even know how this happened, but Harry was obviously putting all his efforts in avoiding me as much as possible. 

After the radio interview, he went out and we didn't see him until an hour before the concert was supposed to start. You can expect how frustrated Liam and Paul were when they saw him still dressed in his street clothes. What's worse is that he did the same thing for the show in New York last night. Even after the concert, he'd spend all his time in his bed, only coming out for a quick bite and the bathroom.

"Just talk to him, he'll come around," Zayn had told me when I came to him for advice last night.

"I'll try," I had responded.

And I did try.

I tried explaining what had happened on the phone, but of course, he wouldn't hear any of it. He kept cutting me off before I even have a chance to explain or apologize. How were we supposed to move past this if he wasn't going to listen?

So, no matter what, Harry's attempts of avoiding me where useless. Especially since today is the day we are supposed to go out on our first public date. With pressure from Liam, Harry managed to get dinner reservations. 

There is no bone in my body that isn't extremely nervous for tonight. I'm not sure how he will respond to me tonight, but for the sake of keeping up appearances, I hope he doesn't continue giving me the cold shoulder. He can't keep shutting me out forever.

Now, as awkward as it is, Harry and I are standing in the main area of the tour bus, about ready to go. Harry was dressed nicely; a jacket and a nice pair of dark skinny jeans. His curly hair had obviously cooperated with him today considering it was all swiped perfectly to the right of his face, framing his deep green eyes.

I even found myself to be a little more dressed up than usual. Thanks to a quick phone call with Eleanor, I was told to wear the new blouse that I had bought in London. However, the second I walked out of the bathroom, I regretted it. Wolf whistles and provocative comments were thrown at me from every direction. I know the boys are just trying to give me a confidence boost, but it didn't work. It actually made me wish I didn't take Eleanor's advice.

"Okay, I want her home by midnight," Louis says sternly with his arms crossed over his chest as he paces back and forth between Harry and I. 

"Louis," I say, actually quite embarrassed that he was giving us rules. "Really?"

Louis smiles devilishly. "Ah, I'm just kidding." He says, then all of a sudden his smile is gone, soon being replaced with a look of pure seriousness. "I want her back at eleven and not a second after."

"Oh, come off it," Zayn says, playfully pushing Louis' shoulder. Then to us, "He's only joking. You guys have fun."

Louis quickly tries to protest, but Zayn quickly covers his mouth, silencing him.

"Um, okay," Harry says awkwardly. "Let's go, then."

Without waiting for me, Harry turns on his heel and heads out of the tour bus. I turn back to the boys, rolling my eyes at Harry.

"I don't know how well this is going to work out," I say as I grab my purse from the seat that Niall's lounging on.

"He'll come around," Liam reassures me. "He always does."

"I hope you're right," I sigh as I make my way to the bus exit. "Wish me luck."

The boys all call out encouragements as I walk down the bus steps. Before I close the door behind me, I manage to hear Niall shout out.

"Oh, bring me back something to eat!"

I close the door, not able to answer Niall. Once I turn around I see Harry, who was leaning against the tour bus, waiting for me. When he saw that I was ready, he stood up straight and began walking off towards the sidewalk. I look around in confusion. When Harry notices that I am not following him, he turns and looks at me.

"Are you coming, or what?" He asks, sticking his hands deep in his pocket.

"Aren't we getting a taxi?" I ask, looking for the cab Louis had said Harry was calling.

Harry shakes his head. "I decided we were going to walk instead. Now come on."



~*~



"You know, I don't know if you know this," I say as I lean across the table to Harry, as if I'm sharing a secret. "But I think this is the part of the date where we're supposed to make pointless conversation."

This is supposed to be a date and yet we've only said three words to each other. We were acting like mindless robots as we sat there just eating our food in silence. Anyone that sees us can tell that we are anything but the 'happy couple' that Harry had claimed we were during the radio interview. Lucky for us, the restaurant is known for not allowing non-customers in, which meant we probably won't run into any fans here.

Harry looks up at me. By the look in his eyes, I can tell that he is debating with himself. He begins pushing around his food as he internally battled with himself. When a small, forced smile appears on his lips, I know which side has just won. 

"You're right," he says, placing his left hand on the table. "I don't want tonight to be a total waste. Come on, give me your hand."

Immediately catching on, I place my hand in Harry's, taking notice of the sudden heat. I cant help but stare at our intertwined hands. Was it so weird for me to be mesmerized by this sight? It was like a painting. My slender hand looked so small in his rather large, masculine hand. His light skin against mine. I could just stare at it for hours.

Although that would be weird, so I look away.

Part of me felt like this was the perfect moment to explain my phone call with Dylan. I mean, it's not like Harry could run. I was holding his hand, so if he even thought about leaving before I could explain, I would know. I could yank him back so fast that he'll get whiplash.

However, as much as I want to take advantage of my situation, I know I can't. Talking about a private phone call is just not something that you're supposed to talk about in public. Especially, if the conversation has the potential to start a fight. And I had a feeling that it might.

So, instead of bringing up the phone call, I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"Florida shake."

Harry looks up from his plate and stares at me in confusion. "What?"

"What's a Florida shake?" 

Harry's look doesn't falter. "What're you talking about?"

I look at him, cocking my head. "You really don't know what I'm referring to?"

He shakes his head. "Not a clue."

"Up All Night." I explain. "DJ got the Florida shake. That has been bugging me these last couple of days. I mean, I've lived in Florida for sixteen years and I've never even heard of a Flordia shake. What the heck is it?"

Harry continues to stare at me. For a second there, I thought he was still lost. That is until he let's out a booming laugh into the otherwise quiet restaurant. His laugh caught me off guard, which makes me laugh. This is the first time that I heard his laugh since the night on the beach. The day we met. It felt like years, when in reality it was only a little less than two weeks ago.

"Florida shake," Harry says between laughs. He let's go of my hand and grabs his napkin, wiping away tears of laughter. "I can't believe you thought that."

Despite my confusion, I can't help but smile. Who knew a Florida shake could break the tension? "Hey, it's not that funny."

"It's bloody hilarious, Paige," Harry says, still laughing. 

"Hey! It's not my fault I couldn't understand what you were saying!" I say in my defense. "I mean, what was I supposed to think?"

"Floor to shake," He clarifies the second he calms himself down. "DJ got the floor to shake."

"Oh," I say, nodding my head dumbly. "You know, that makes a lot more sense. I mean, why would a DJ have a Florida Shake?"

"It sounds like a sexy dance," Harry points out, smiling widely. I can't help but notice his dimples as he does so.

"Or a really tasty drink!" I add with a laugh.

"Or a secret handshake that only people in Florida know," Harry says with excitement.

We both start going into hysterics as we continue adding on to the list. Half the time I had no idea what we were talking about anymore, but I didn't care. All I can think is that, finally after weeks of trying to have a decent conversation with Harry, I was finally having one. 

When Harry and I finally manage to stop laughing, half the restaurant's shoots death glares at us. I couldn't care less if Harry and I had ruined their night, because so far, my night is going better than expected.

"You know what I could use right now?" Harry asks, throwing his napkin on his empty dinner plate.

"A Florida shake?" I say jokingly.

"Well, besides that. I don't even think we can get one of those in New York," He adds. "But I could really go for some ice cream."

At the mention of ice cream, a large smile plays across my lips. "You had me at ice cream."

Harry furrows his eyebrows as he laughs. "I think you got that saying wrong."

"Oh, you know what I meant." I wave my hand at him.

"So, what do you say?" He asks getting up from his seat. "Let's go get some ice cream and then we should probably get back to the bus before Louis has a fit."

"And I thought Liam was supposed to be Daddy Direction," I say, following Harry's lead as I get up from my seat, picking up my purse.

"Oh, he is," Harry says, putting a fifty dollar bill on the table. "Louis is just being Louis."

"That explains a lot."

Harry flashes his dimples at me for what felt like the millionth time tonight. "Alright, let's go."

As we left the restaurant, I cant help but think that things are finally looking up. I mean, the fans stopped the stupid countdowns, I'm in America, in a couple of weeks I'll be in Florida, and most of all, I am having a real conversation with Harry.

Maybe this date was all we needed to break the thick ice that I have been trying to break through these past couple of days. Maybe it was just what Harry and I needed.

And maybe things were finally looking up for the both of us.



~*~



I think I spoke too soon.

Even with the amazing dinner conversation, Harry and I found out that there is only so much you can talk about. Especially on the subject of Florida Shakes. After we had our ice cream, Harry and I found ourselves walking back through the streets of New York City in complete and utter silence. 

We've been walking for a good fifteen minutes. Up ahead, I can begin to see the lights of the large tour bus.

I don't know what makes me say this. Maybe it was because I felt like this would be my only shot. Maybe it was because I wanted to get it out of my system before we get to the bus. Or maybe it was because I felt like after our decent night together, he would finally listen to me. Whatever the reason, I say it.

"So, about the phone call the other day." I say awkwardly.

Next to me, I sense Harry tense up. Suddenly, the calm air that was floating around us became so thick that I could cut it with a knife. "Paige. Don-"

Before he can say anything else, I continue. "Look, I'm sorry if you felt like I was disrespecting you or something, but it's not what it sounded like. I wasn't talking to some boyfriend. I wa-"

"Paige," Harry repeats, more sternly. "I've told you before. I don't want an explanation."

"But, you were upset with me and I jus-"

"I wasn't upset," He says dumbly, in an agitated voice. 

Was he seriously trying to deny that? "You were upset. You were avoiding me! I barely saw you these past two days. What else am I supposed to think?"

By now we've reached the lot the our tour bus was parked in. Luckily, Harry stopped just as we entered the lot, giving us a good twenty feet between us and the bus.

Harry runs his large hand through his thick hair, taking a deep breath. "Look, I already told you. I don't want an explanation. I just think that you should be a little more careful when you confess your love to other boys. You're just lucky it was me who found you and not someone from the radio station."

I don't know what it was, but that upset me. "I don't need a lecture from you. I get that I messed up. But, I wasn't even 'confessing my love' to anyone! I was talking to my best friend! Is that a crime? Is that against the stupid contract? Huh?" I ask, saying every word with venom. "Look, All I'm trying to do is apologize."

Then, it hits me.

"Wait, why am I even the one apologizing?"

"And what's that supposed to me?"

"It means that I think you should be apologizing to me!" I say, almost yelling at him.

"Really? Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one constantly screwing things up," Harry points out cooly.

The fact that he was staying calm, just made me even more upset. Did this boy have no feelings? No emotions?

"I'm not messing anything up," I say stubbornly. 

"It was barely the second day on tour and we already had to talk to press about our relationship," Harry points out. "That should be a world record."

"Well at least I'm trying," I spit out harshly.

"I am trying! I'm going along with this, aren't I?" He counters.

"Please," I roll my eyes. "I meant, I'm trying to be your friend. I'm trying to make this easier for us. Unlike you who has been pushing me away every chance you get. Do you even see how difficult you're being?"

Harry narrows his eyes at me. Under the moonlight, Harry's eyes intensifies. I almost take a step back, but quickly decide against it. I am not going to show weakness. I'm tired of this and I was going to let Harry know what I've been thinking. I was tired of waiting for him to realize how unfair he is being. 

"If I wasn't trying, would I have stayed up with you that night in London?" He counters.

I'm caught off guard by that comment. That's the first time that Harry has even hinted towards that night. It makes sense that he'd use it against me in an argument.

"Well, it would mean a lot more to me if you consistently showed me that side of you," I say harshly. "I'm getting whiplash from going back and forth with you. You ignore me one week, then the next night you're tucking me in bed; You insult me, then days later you're singing me to sleep. Can you just pick already? I'm tired of thinking that you're finally going to accept me just to have that thrown back in my face the next day."

Harry takes a deep breath and then says, "If this is causing you so much stress, then why'd you do it? Why are you here?"

This time I do take a step back. 

He had a point. If he was causing me so much pain and stress, why was I here? Vincent said I can terminate the contract whenever I wanted. If I was really upset, why didn't I just do that? 

No matter how much I want to just go back home, I know I can't. I won't. I've come too far to just turn away. I'm here because of my parents. Because of Dylan. I agreed to this for them and I wasn't going to back off just because some boy was being a jerk. I plan on hanging onto this for as long as I can and there was no way Harry Styles is going to run me off.

I'm here to stay.

"You think I wanted this to happen to me? Do you honestly think that I'm happy pretending to be some jerks girlfriend?" I yell, clenching my jaw. "No, I'm not happy. I didn't want this to happen. But you know what? It did happen and the least you can do is accept my help."

"Okay, but do you think I wanted all of this? I don't want some girl 'acting' as my girlfriend; much less getting paid for it," He says harshly. "Besides, I never asked for help and quite frankly, I didn't need it in the first place because I haven't done anything wrong. So, thanks, but no thanks. I don't need your help."

I felt like Harry had just slapped me across the face. I mean, who was he to say that? I try hard to keep my emotions under control, but it was no use. I am beyond mad. I suddenly feel all the emotions that Harry and made me feel since the day we met. 

"Well, Vincent seems to think otherwise," I say cruelly. "That's why I'm here. And you know, it would be really nice if you wouldn't take everything out on me."

"I'm no-"

"You are!" I yell cutting him off. "You're upset with management and instead of being upset with them, you're blaming everything on me. You hate that they are making you do this and instead of owning up to everything, you're making my life harder than it has to be. Why? Because if you can't be happy, why should I? You can't get over yourself long enough to realize that I'm just trying to help you!"

Harry falls silent as he looks at me blankly. Around us, crickets chirp, creating the only noise in the vicinity. I lock eyes with Harry, giving him the same intensity that he was giving me only moments ago. I know I should feel bad for saying all that to him, but I'm not. I'm relieved. I've been holding that in for weeks now and it felt good to release it.

I don't even know what happened here. One moment we are walking in silence, and the next moment we are screaming at each other. How do we go from one extreme to the next? Is there no middle ground with us?

Before Harry can respond, the tour bus door opens. I half expect it to be Louis, who had been waiting for us to return from our date. However, it isn't Louis. It's Niall.

"Finally," Niall says loudly, walking towards us. "Did you guys bring me my food?"

Before I can even respond, Harry is rushing past me and Niall and into the bus, slamming the door behind him, leaving nothing but tension to fill his empty spot.

"Uh, what's his problem?" Niall asks awkwardly.

I take a deep breath. Finally, someone asked me a question about Harry that I can answer with full confidence.

"Me."

_________________________________________

A/N:

:O I really like this chapter... Paige really needed to get everything out and I'm certain so did Harry! haha so it was kinda intense... this argument was bound to happen so yeah...don't get too mad :P

--------> gif of how Harry makes Paige feel... (If she were Liam and had his.. uh... body parts :P) hahaha (YES TAYLOR ANOTHER GIF!!!)

And let me just tell you....the chapter wasn't even up for 24 hours and you guys already got passed 20 votes! You guys must've really wanted this chapter up! Keep it up!

VOTE for.... Paige finally telling Harry what was on his mind? YES!!! 

Thank you all for your amazing comments and all the votes! YOU ALL GET A MEDAL!!! :D

PS: Hi, 1DtoNarnia and Jeans14! I thought i'd give you a shoutout since you two were the only ones who said they read my authors notes :P hahah so.... HI! :D