Grinding Spike [ 5 to 13 ] -- DISCONTINUED

[23] It Is Enough For Me

Than POV

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I woke up in the morning feeling dizzy. When I try to get up, it feels like my surrounding is spinning around. I want to throw up but I hold it. I need to stay strong. I don't want to show my weakness.

My morning is startinf with no see him around. Not I don't want to see him. It is just, maybe God plans us not to see each other.

In the parctice, Pete is being worry about me. He asks me if I am fine or not. Well, a lie won't hurt him anyways so I lie to him but he doesn't buy it. He wants to tell P'Puen about my condition but I stop him. He finds it is odd, so he suspects something might be happen between us. He is smart for this kind of thing. Yes, something happened but I don't want to tell him. I am not ready yet. And I think I can handle this matter alone.

The practice starts. I think coach knows about my condition. He asks me if I am sick or not. He tells me to take a rest if I am not feeling well but I insist to practcice. I know I am being stubborn and I regret it. What happen next is making me look terrible.

I fall down and throw up. Coach Win yell at me and make announcement to others if one of them is feeling sick, don't push to practice or it will make hard for others. I feel sorry for being stubborn.

P'Puen is helping me. Well, it is because coach told him to. I don't have any strenght to prostest, so I let him to help me back to clean up before I back to the dorm.

He helps me to wash my face and also helps me to walk. I do protest to him to let me walk by myself but he insist. His stunnorness is another level than mine. No one can defeat his stubborness.

When we are out from the bathroom, we see my father and P'Top. They are standing waiting for us. I am surprise to find them, I mean my father, in my school. He never cares to come to my school before. Why now?

P'Puen leaves us to have some private times to talk. This is a family business. He doesn't have to be included in family matter. But somehow I wish he will stay beside me to encourage me. But a wish only can be a wish.

"Are you ok?" P'Top look so worried about me.

"You look terrible!" That is the first thing comes out from my father's mouth. That is nothing new, but why it is hurting me so much? I have to be used for his careless but why I still wish he could care more about me?

"You left home to torment yourself like this? What are you thinking?"

"Why are you here? Just leave!"

And here is the argument between me and him goes. We always have argument about this matter over and over again. Sometime I am tired of this but this is never end. Why he never understands me?

"I come here because your P wants me to talk nicely to you but what I am seeing now? You in state like this and yet you still playing volleyball. What I suppose to understand?"

"You don't need to understand. You never try to understand anyway!"

"Than...." P'Top tries to calm me down. He is standing between us. I know this is so hard for him but I can't stop being angry everytime my father provokes me.

"You are stubborn!"

"Who do you think I take this from?"

"Dad, I thought you said you would be nice to him!"

"Shut up, Top!" he shouts, "You ask me to come here to see how determined he is during practice. Then what? I came here to see him puke like this? This is gonna be the last time I am gonna be saying this. Quit volleyball right now. If not, don't ever come back home!"