Notebook~Larry Stylinson

2.5K 28 5
                                    

Harry sighed as he watched Louis get ready for a date. How he wished he was getting dressed up for him not Eleanor. "Do I look okay?" Louis asked, nervously fidgeting with his shirt. Harry looked up, putting on his fake smile. "You look great, Boo," he smiled, in a voice that sounded so happy. He wished Louis could see the pain he actually was in.

Louis stared at the younger boy. Something was off in his eyes. They almost seemed sad, but that bright smile said otherwise. Maybe he was upset because Louis had promised to watch a movie with him, but him and Eleanor had made plans. Surely he understood. "You're fine with me missing our movie night, right?" Harry looked up, startled by the question. "Of course, boo bear. Why would I mind? She's  your girlfriend you want to spend time with her before we have to leave again," Harry smiled.

Harry's heart was cracking as he said the words that, by now, floated effortlessly off his lips. Harry hated how good at lieing he was. "Good. I would have stayed but I have something important to ask El," Louis smiled excitedly. "What?" Harry asked, not really wanting to know. For seem reason he had the hunch Louis was going to propose. "I want to ask her to marry me!" he said happily, pulling the velvet box out off his pocket. Harry grinned at Louis, like the news excited him. "Really? Are you sure? Lou, this is big, you can't just get out of it! Are you sure?" Harry asked hurriedly. Louis smiled as his friend worried. "Of course I'm sure! I love her!" he laughed. Louis thought he saw Harry flinch, but he must be mistaken. "Well, hurry up! Or you'll miss your date!" Harry smiled, ushering him out the door.

Harry watched as Louis left without looking back. That was it. He had had lost his Boobear to Eleanor. Harry finally realised, as he stood there at the door watching Louis leaved, that he had always hoped he secretly loved Harry also. Now he knew. Now Harry knew that he wasn't good enough for Louis, that he was a pathetic freak that didn't deserve Louis. FInally Harry closed the door and walked to his room. He collapsed on his bed. He pulled out his journal. He stared at it for a second before standing and walking into the bathroom. Harry put the tattered book on the counter, and stared at himself in the mirror. His face was pale and covered in pimples. His hair was horrible. His outfit was drabby. His green eyes were dull. His smile was gross. He kept pointing out the bad things about himself. Before sinking to the ground, pulling his notebook with him. Harry grabbed the pencil he kept in the pages and started writing.

He's going to ask her to marry him to night. I don't know why I didn't see it coming earlier. Maybe I thought he would actually love me, but who would. I'm disgusting. Why would he love me? I'm a pathetic boy, who isn't even sure if he's gay. But I know one thing. I'm in love with Louis William Tomlinson, but he's in love with Eleanor. I just want him to realise. I need him, so maybe I can just pretend I'm not, but one day I know I'll snap. Maybe I'll kill myself, maybe I'll tell him I love him with every fiber of my being, it doesn't matter all I know is that he'll find out one way or another. Why don't we let him chose?

Louis walked into the house an hour later, his heart was broken. Eleanor broke up with him right after he asked her. How could she do that to him? Louis Loved her, but that didn't matter. "Harry?" he called out. Wanting the comfort of the younger boy. He was confused when there was no answer. Harry usally waited up for Louis when he went out. He walked slowly through the house, until he heard soft snores coming from the bathroom. Louis opened the door to find Harry asleep on the floor. A tattered leather bound notebook lay in his lap. Louis looked at the book in confusion, before shrugging and walking over to pick Harry up and carry him to his bedroom. When Louis lay the younger lad down the book fell off his lap. It spiked his curiosity so he picked it up. He flipped to the first page. It was in Harry's handwriting,but Louis and Harry shared everything. So this shoudln't count as invading his privacy.

This is stupid, but Liam is making me do it. He's noticed my change in mood lately, and decided this would be a good way to get it off my chest. Because I didn't want to tell him. So here's my secret. I love my best friend. Now that may not sound so bad, but he's a guy. I'm so sorry, Louis. I didn't mean to. I hate myself for ruining our friendship. I'm so sorry, Louis.

To say Louis was shocked, would be an understatement. Harry loved him. Oh, had he not noticed sooner. Suddenly he remembered the X Factor. The old feeling he had from then rose in his chest. He had loved Harry all along, he just didn't realize. He had Eleanor, he thought he had crushed those feelings with his feelings for her. But Louis was wrong, and he realized it now. Louis was in love with Harry. He decided to read the next entry.

I can't stand how in love he is with Eleanor. I understand why. She's perfect, beautiful, and kind. Everything I'm not. I'm not a girl. That's the problem here. Louis wants a girl. While I want Louis. I'm not even gay! I just love Louis. I told Liam. He told me I'm probably bisexual. That what I'm going through is perfectly normal. He also says I should tell Louis, but I don't want to burden him with my secret. I know he loves her so why tell. He would stop talking to me, he would kick me out of the flat. The fans encourage our bromance Larry. Louis finds it cute, I wish it were real. But don't tell Louis.

Louis felt sick. Did harry really think he wouldn't love him back? He had always loved him, Louis justs didn't realise it. He suddenly knew what I had to do. Louis placed the book down and walked over to him. I shook him awake. He grumbled but opened his eyes. "Lou? What time is it?" Harry mumbled in his husky voice.  Louis didn't give him time to say anything else because he pressed his lips to Harry's. It took a moment for Harry to get over the shock put he kissed back. Louis pulled away. "I love you, too," he whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one is longer and sweeter. Am I the only writer who feels like a reader as she writes. Never knowing what's going to come next, just letting my hands type what they find fit? :) Comment! Vote! Fan!

xo Sarabeth

One Direction One ShotsWhere stories live. Discover now