What a Nerd? | Marcel

Ch 33

Encouraging Song:

The Promise - Emma Blackery

"And I may not even know your name,

But I promise you I've felt the same.

As you do right now, you'll make it somehow

And even if you feel as though you have no friends

Except the blade that cuts your skin

You're better than this, you're worth more than this

And I believe if you go my heart would break

Just hold on one more day."

-

Jackie Pov: Day 13

-

"Sweetie, I called you for dinner like ten times." My mom says as she stands in my doorway.

I shrug. "I'm not hungry."

My eyes intensely watch the rain drops on my window drip down the screen, racing eachother. I root for the rain drop on the right, because it's going slower than the one on the left. As it continues to race down its path on my window, I keep hoping it'll surprise me and prove me wrong. That it'll come through last minute when I'm least expecting, and win me over.

It seems like ever since he left me, the weather just seemed to match my emotions. It's been raining a lot more lately. On the days we have sunshine, I find myself cringing and whipping my window closed.

"Jackie, listen.." She sighs, walking in and sitting on my bed.

"I don't want this talk again." I speak firmly as I stare sadly at my rain drop as it hit the bottom, coming in second place. I should've known.

"You aren't giving me a choice, Jackie. You're scaring me!" She bursts and I roll my eyes, glancing at her for only a second and then turning back to look out my window.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine! You're shutting down on me and I'm growing worried. Do you want a therapist, Jackie? Someone to talk to?"

"No mom I don't want a fucking therapist!" I exclaim. "I'm doing just fine, alright?"

She purses her lips, looking down at her lap.

"I'm sorry," I whisper a second later. I let my head fall onto my knees. "I'm so sorry." My body begins to shake and I immediately hear shuffling and arms wrapping around me.

"Shh, it's okay. He'll come around." She whispers in my ear as I soak up my pajama pants.

"No he won't! It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow. He hates me. He wants nothing to do with me anymore.' I cry into my legs and she pulls me closer.

"You'll see, baby. It's only a matter of time. He just needs a bit of time to himself. He doesn't hate you. He needs you and you need him." I sniff and lift my head, wiping over my face and leaning my head against her shoulder. "Okay."

Just as I look over at his house, I see a flexed down blind from inside his window, snap back into place. He saw me.

~

Marcel Pov: Day 14

"Mum, she's doing it again. Go get her." I half-plead, half-demand as I look out the front window of the house.

I hear her footsteps come up and she pulls aside the window to look outside. Her gasp is strangled.

"She's losing herself, Marcel. You have to go get her out of that rain right now. Who knows how long she's been out there already. She could get sick." She tells me.