What a Nerd? | Marcel

Ch 51

Jackie POV

Song: Fire and the Flood

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The sound of movement around the room is what initially had me woken up at 6 in the morning. After wiping the sleep from my eyes, my vision cleared only to see Marcel taking his clothes out of the dresser and putting them into his suitcase.

My chap lips trembled as I sat up.

"Marcel."

His hands stopped moving long enough for me to know he heard me. But instead of responding, he sighed under his breath and continued.

"Marcel," I repeated.

The only movement I got as far to do was clutching the top of the blanket. His voice caught me before I could pull it away from my body.

"I'm asking you as nicely as possible not to come near me right now."

Said without any remorse or an inch of weakness in his words.

It was so hard to put together something comprehensible to say back to him. The longer I sat there watching him packing up his belongings, the more I felt myself withdrawing from myself.

I'd screwed up.

"Marcel can..–Marcel can you just stop packing for two seconds and listen to me?" I pleaded.

"Jackie, you said all you needed to say yesterday. And so did I."

"I—"

"Things I didn't even ever imagine myself saying to you of all people." He zipped up his suitcase and then stood back up and went into the bathroom.

"I'll—I'll–I can try to wait."

If he'd heard me, he made no indication of it and came out of the bathroom, holding more of his things.

"Did you hear me?"

He tossed his toiletries bag into his suitcase and then zipped it up and stood it up with him.

"Marcel, I said I–"

"It doesn't.." he turned to face me for the first time this morning, "make.. a.. difference, Jackie."

His eyes were bloodshot and all I wanted to do was hug him.

"But last night–" I started.

"It said more than you ever could."

He opened his mouth to say something else and then closed it. Instead, started rolling it towards the door.

"This isn't how it's supposed to go. If you loved me, you'd stay and we'd talk about this. I thought we were stronger than this."

He visibly clenched his jaw.

"If you loved me, we wouldn't be in this situation at all."

"I do love you. I told you I'd—"

"We both know this will become a problem later on. What happens when you're tired of trying?"