What a Nerd? | Marcel

Ch 26

Self-esteem song:

Born This Way - Karmin (cover)

"I'm beautiful in my way, cause god makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way"

"Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and your set, I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way."

-

Jackie Pov

-

"Marcel no rush but, what is taking you so long?" I ask after 5 minutes of silence passed with Marcel fidgeting and nervously tapping his foot.

"I-I can't... it's too hard to tell you."

"I thought we told each other everything."

"W-We did. No I m-mean we do. I just have-"

"You haven't been telling me everything, have you?" I finish the sentence for him, hurt laced through my words.

He looks up from the ground and turns to face me. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad.. but I haven't told you two certain things, that I really feel bad about." He confesses and I shake my head to himself.

"Are you serious?"

"If it helps, I have reasons on why I haven't told you."

It doesn't.

I keep silent in response.

"I.. Again I'm sorry- I'll let you choose. Look, see, I'll let you choose which one I tell you first." He tries to find a solution. "U-Uh one or two."

I don't bother asking which is bigger and instead go for it, "Two."

I watch as right before me, his whole expression changes. He frowns down at his shoes, no longer keeping eye contact with me. I began to wonder what reaction I would've gotten if I chose 1. By the look on his face, I really wish I did.

"What?" I crawl down to the edge of the bed, "What's wrong? What is it?" I touch his shoulder.

After his followed silence, I continue.

"You can tell me anything."

"I-I don't know, this is a sensitive subject Jackie." He informs, twiddling with his fingers. "I've.. I've never talked about this to anyone."

"Okay.. well I'll just wait until you're ready," I sigh and move to go to the head of my bed.

"No," he immediately jumps, "Stay right here.. so I can see you." he pleads and I nod. I quickly sit back down beside him.

"Do you remember what happened at my house?" he eventually asks.

"You mean when you blew up on me for almost no reason? Yes." He turns his head and his eyes lock on mine.

"It wasn't for no reason." He instantly defends.

"I mean yes, you're right, it was for a reason but, Marcel you got to understand I was only trying to help-"

"No," he stands up, "You were trying to change me even more Jackie. That's something I didn't want to change for you."

"I was not trying to change you! I was only-"

"Jackie, you were trying to change me."  He repeats slowly to me as if I'm an idiot.

He is getting as worked up as he did that day in his front yard. I can tell he's frustrated. Why won't he just listen to me?