It Started With A Drunk Kiss (Zayn Malik Fan Fiction) [EDITING] COMPLETED

Chapter 11 - Baby You're Always On My Mind

I laughed a nervous laugh. I wanted to say yes, just so I wouldn’t hurt his feelings, but I can’t. Not after I told Zayn that I loved him.

“What…are you being serious?” I whispered because it suddenly felt like the whole house was listening. Josh, who was still smiling, climbed out from under the bed covers, walked over to my side of the bed. He kneeled on one knee. “Josh get up!” I whispered pleadingly.

“Hope, my lovely Hope. Will you do me the honours and be my wife?” He smiled. Is hands were cuffed as if he was holding and invisible box with a ring it in.

“Josh please,” I started to say. His smiled faded. “I can’t. I don’t even know if I’m old enough to get married. It’s not that I don’t love but, my life is crazy right now…please don’t take this the wrong way.” I had tears in my eyes. I hated myself so much right now. My emotions were all over the place. I was scared...scared of marriage. I was angry at Josh too. How could he have not gathered that with everything right now, more drama is really the last thing I needed? But marriage!

“Do you love me?” Josh whispered, not even looking at me anymore. Right now I was more scared than ever. This actually cannot be happening.

“Josh…” I started to say.

“It’s a simple yes or no question. Do you love me?” He looked at me hopeful, he had tears in his eyes.

Oh man, I really tore him up. I was so lost. If I say yes, I’m lying. If I say no, he would kick me out.

“You know the answer to that Josh. Come on lets go to bed,” I smiled a weak and unconvincing smile as a tear trickled down my cheek.

“I don’t think I do.” He got up from his knee, and started to walk out of the room. I didn’t want him to leave me, I really didn't want to be alone.

“Okay! Yes! I do! Please come back Josh,” I pleaded. By now the tears just kept coming and coming. I really wasn’t in the mood for existing.

“Do you?” he asked, pausing at his door.

“Yes, I love you. Please don’t walk away. I need you. I’m having your baby!” I sobbed. I buried my face into my hands and cried. I heard Josh’s footsteps coming closer to me, and then he arms wrapped around me.  

We both eventually went to sleep. My night consisted of a lot of tossing and turning, plus horrible nightmares about the baby which I hated so much. My mind put horrible imaginings together, like Josh leaving me to raise the devil of the child all by myself. I woke up every now and again, but drifted off to sleep just as quickly as I had woken up.

On Tuesday I slept in. I called the school and said I wasn’t going to be in today because I was feeling ill. Straight after I put the phone down I had morning sickness and threw up. Josh and I were planning to tell his parents about my pregnancy once they came back from his Grandmother’s.

I spent the whole of Tuesday on the couch watching TV. Josh didn’t go to school either because he didn’t want to leave me all by myself.

“I can’t stay here forever,” I said to Josh as I was making myself a cheese sandwich.

“I know, but you can stay here as long as you want. My parents don’t mind. As long as they get their sleep and it’s clean they wouldn’t care,” He replied with a mouthful of bread and ham.

“It’s not that I don’t want to stay here, but I don’t want to be away from home either. I just want to go home and like block certain people in my life for the mean time.”

“Certain people? Like who?”

“I dunno, just like a teacher at my school, that Delta chick and Zayn.” Josh didn’t know much about Zayn. He just knew he was one of the few people who were nice to me at school, or who actually talked to me.

“I thought Zayn was your friend?” as soon as Josh said that, I had to swallow.

“Yeah, well it’s complicated. All this stuff happened and he found out Delta was cheating on him and stuff and it was kind of my fault and…” I shook my head. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Like the baby?”

I dropped the glass of water I was holding. Glass and liquid was all over the tiles.

“Shit!!” I gasped.

“Let me get that for you, don’t hurt yourself!” Josh said in alarm.

“Josh, I’m pregnant, not disabled.” I walked out of the kitchen careful not to step on any of the broken glass. I was a bit peeved off. Doesn’t Josh get I hate the baby and that I hate talking about it? I sunk in the couch on front of the TV. A few minutes later Josh joined me.

“Look, I know you hate the baby. But I don’t. We have to talk about it someday –“ He started to say. I cut him off.

“Today is not the day.” I snapped.

The day was a blur. I phoned my Mum and Dad to let them know I was alright and that I was just sick. They questioned me heaps but I decided it would be better to tell them in person I was preggers. I told Josh I was going to school tomorrow, we quarrelled a bit but he finally decided to drive me home at 10pm. In the mean time we dropped into a chemist where they gave me medication for my morning sickness. The lady at the counter was old and gothic looking. When I asked her for what I was looking for she gave me a look of disapproval which basically said: Should’ve used protection.

Maybe it was just me, but I immediately didn’t like her. I grabbed the little packet of pills out of her hand and walked out of the store with no ‘Thank you’ or anything. The rest of the drive was silent between Josh and I until we reached the apartment. I gulped.

“You know if you’re having second thoughts driving back home won’t be such a big deal,” Josh said when he parked.

“Josh.” I said sternly. I gave him a look. I wasn’t going to be weak and back out. I opened the car door and walked to the other side of Josh’s vehicle. He rolled down his window and I thanked him and gave him a quick, meaningless kiss.

Walking up the stairs to the apartment was different. I felt like a different person, carrying more weight on my shoulders. Every step up the stairs was heavy. I would’ve taken the elevator, but avoiding and procrastinating are a few things I was too good at.

With my spare key I slowly unlocked the door. As I pushed it open Dad was looking up at me with a confused and angry face.

“Not now Dad. I’ll explain tomorrow. I’m going to bed.” I interrupted before he could say anything. I chucked my bag next to the door. I went into my bathroom, it looked exactly the same as I left it. I got changed. As I took off my top I stared at my body. Am I supposed to be getting a bump this early or am I bloated? I didn’t want to know. A human being was growing inside me, and destroying my life.