50 Shades of Sawyer Hartman 2

Chapter 15

~Morgan's POV~

"Lauren's ready, she finally trusts me again... Finally. She may never forgive me for what I did, I don't even forgive myself for what I did. But she kissed me and that's a start." I was glad someone was hopeful for a relationship, and somebody's relationship was growing. Every time I felt Sawyer and I get closer and closer... He pushed me away, or I did. We got in an argument almost everyday now. We still slept I. The same bed, occasionally Sawyer would sleep on the couch if our arguments got pretty heated. I didn't know what I was going to do. Dylan was starting to spend most of his time with Lauren, and I was pretty sure he thought she was his mom. I was a terrible mother, and I felt like a horrible friend to Lauren for taking care of my own baby when I couldn't do it myself. Lauren already had school and I knew it was a lot of stress on her, but she didn't show it. I wanted to put Dylan in an adoption center, neither Sawyer nor myself could handle him and it felt like the best. I wanted to tell Sawyer my thoughts tonight, but I knew how it would end up as. Just another argument. "Morgan?" I heard Joey ask, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Right... Congrats, Joey." I said flatly nodding my head and biting my bottom lip and faking a small smile. Joey cocked his eyebrow at me.

"What's goin' on, girlie?" He asked me in his cute, feminine tone.

"Life," I answered, sighing and looking down to the wood floor.

"Sawyer?" Joey asked, biting his lower lip, making sure whether or not he hit a sensitive spot in my emotions.

"That's half of it," I moaned hiding my face in my hands.

"Dylan?" He wondered and I nodded groaning again. "What about him?" Joey knew by now I would talk to him about ANYTHING. Anything I had a problem with, Joey would be the first I would go to anyway, sometimes Lauren. Lauren sometimes had a blabber mouth and would tell Sawyer, and I couldn't risk that.

"I'm too young for this, Joey, I should've listened to you. He's too much to handle. Lauren has been taking care of him, and I could never put that on her. She has too many stressful things going on as it is," I said, Joey nodding in agreement to me. "Sawyer can't handle him either. I want to go back to school, get a job, support myself get a house and then maybe start a family, but not now. Not here. I think... I think I want to put Dylan up for adoption, find him a home. This might not be the right thing to do, just to walk away from my problems, but what do I know any more." Joey stayed quiet for a minute, processing what I had said. He didn't want Dylan to leave, I know he really liked Dylan. I truly believed this was for the best, though.

"When are you planning on telling Sawyer this?" Joey asked, looking up to me, I could tell he was sad, disappointed, it showed in his eyes.

"Tonight." I said, slowly. "I need you to take Lauren some where, distract her, so she doesn't have to be there when he yells at me like a maniac." I knew it was coming. Sawyer and I had been going through a lot of problems, he was hurt, and I could understand where he is coming from. This sure wasn't going to help.

"Of course, I'll take her to a movie or something," Joey said, nodding his head. "This is just going to end up into a screaming match, but Sawyer loves you, Morgan, it'll take a while but he will understand." I reached over and brought Joey into a hug, him hugging me back.

"Thank you," I whispered in his ear as we separated and he smiled to me.

"Better go find a movie we can go see," Joey said standing up to go find Lauren.

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I walked into Sawyer and I's bed room, seeing him under neath the covers of the bed, on his laptop. I flicked on the light, which illuminated the room. He looked up to acknowledge my presence. "Hey," he said raspily and I smiled back to him walking towards the foot of the bed, and sitting onto it.

"Can we talk?" I asked him and he nodded, shutting down his computer, closing it and putting it to the side.

"Talking hasn't really gotten us far." Sawyer said and I smiled.

"No kidding," he laughed at this, and I missed his laugh, his smile. I missed it a lot. "This isn't going to help, though." Sawyers smile faded into a serious face and I could tell he already wasn't pleased with this news. "I think... That... Dylan isn't working out. I think we should put him in an adoption center, or find parents that are willing to care for him." Sawyer disconnected out eye contact, and bit his lower lip. I knew he was mad. He sat on the edge of the bed, his back to me and stayed completely silent. The rhythmic breathing turning into angered and quickened breaths. Sawyer was always pretty chill when it came to most things in our relationship. He tried to keep his cool, which I didn't like sometimes, I wanted him to talk to me and talk this out. Sometimes I just wanted him to explode, blow his top off, scream at me. "Please, Sawyer, talk to me. You can yell. You can scream. Whatever you have to do just do it, stop ignoring me. Stop walking away from out problems." Sawyer slowly stood up off the bed and faced me.

"Fine, is this what you wanted?" He asked, holding his hands in the air. "You take away one baby from me, another child that would've been mine. Mine! Now you're gonna take Dylan away from me? My only son?!" He screamed. I swallowed hard.

"Sawyer, we can't even take care of him. He calls Lauren his mom. For gods sake, Sawyer." He frowned at this.

"He's still my son. You can't just take him away from me. I'm apart of this relationship to you know! You can't do that without my say. Like swallowing the pills, why would you do that instead of coming to me!" He raged, throwing his hands into the air.

"Are we still on this pill thing?" I asked, cocking my eyebrows.

"Of course we are, that's why I'm mad at you! I'm... I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. It hurts me that you would do something like that without my consent!" He yelled, sitting back down onto the bed rubbing his stubble. I moved to the center of the bed and sat down.

"Sawyer, I swallowed the pills. I screwed up." I said, a tear rolling down my face. I wiped it away quickly so he wouldn't see.

"But you told Joey and Lauren before you even came to me about the pills, I'm your husband, Morgan. You can't even trust me! We are partners, you come to me first!" He boomed pointing to himself. "Hell, I'm pretty sure you've already told Joey about this adoption thing." He looked into my eyes and I automatically felt guilty, for telling Joey. My face sank and I looked down into the bedspread. "Of course you did." He said quietly and nodded. I felt tears stream down my face. "But you know what angers me the most? The fact that I completely agree with you. Dylan should be given a better life, you're too young, we are too young." I looked up to sawyer, his face still stern, but I could tell a smile playing on his lips. "After we find him a home, we need to work past our differences and start fresh. Whether that includes a baby... I don't know." I nodded. A fresh start seemed nice.

||thoughts? Leave them in the comments below😓 by the way people have been messaging me about people saying that I am releasing a third book, no, I have not said anything about a third book, though this book and the first one have done really well. Who knows what the future holds? 😜||