Musings Of A Modern Muslimah

Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave" Indira Gandhi

If you had said this to me a couple years back I'd give you a blank stare.

How are you brave if you forgive people? So many of us don't understand the meaning of this quote. Looking at it now, I'm starting to appreciate it.

One of the many problems that this world has is that people are unwilling to forgive. You may have been in a scenario with a friend or a family member who speaks to you about a petty problem like "So and so wore the same shirt as me" and will refuse to speak to the person because of it. Some of us may even feel complete rage towards a person but then forget what the argument was about and STILL refuse to forgive them. It confuses me because then I wonder do we not forgive because of our pride? Or are we actually angry about what happened?

Well to me, not of these answers are justifiable.

We should or at least try to let go of things like grudges, pride, resentment and anger because at the end of the day it isn't beneficial to us. The only one left unhappy is you.

And I know holding on to grudges is the easiest method. At the time a person is most likely upset or angry, the first thing they go to is a grudge. But in doing so, it reaps you of the happiness that every individual deserves. Why seek an option the will ultimately do more harm than good?

Another thing I've come to notice is that when people say forgive, for some reason they think it means, "I must be friends with them!" That is not true!

Allah (SWT) says in Surat A'raf "Make allowances for people, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant."

Make allowances for people and turn away from the ignorant. I don't see "be friends with them because I have to" anywhere in there.

I know it's hard to forgive the actions that cut deep within us but forgiveness doesn't mean you deny the actions that hurt you nor does it justify that what they did was indeed wrong. Forgiveness isn't only about so and so. Forgiveness is a way for you to heal and repair the past wounds.

I want to make myself clear here when I say that forgiveness is a choice and in no circumstance is it forced upon anyone. I can't make you forgive someone. It's like that saying "You can bring a horse to water but you can't make them drink". I can tell you all the good things that forgiveness has to offer but that doesn't mean you'll listen to me. That's for you to decide on your own time.

I ask all of you to try it one day. When your mom, dad, friend, sister brother etc. make you feel angry or upset take a moment to think and through and forgive. Will it make you feel better? I guarantee it will.

The Prophet (PBU) was the most forgiving person. Let us look up to him and his actions and obtain the benefits that come from it.

Alrighty! This was a bit of a short musing but I felt that I would end up rambling if I continued with it. What's your opinion on forgiveness? If you feel comfortable, tell me about a scenario where you felt that forgiveness was the best solution for you. Let me know in the comments below and don't forget to vote!