Musings Of A Modern Muslimah

Weddings: Part 2

So you guys I have experienced my first wedding, wooohooo but guess what…

I didn’t like it -.-

Not

One

Bit

If you know me personally you would know that I can be this kindest person but I have a problem with bluntness. I don’t like misinforming people and wont spare their feelings on things like fashion, TV shows, etc. I know this kind of sounds really harsh but I would rather have someone tell me something straight up rather than spare my feelings. Anyways back to the wedding discussion.

Seeing as we were invited the day before (you saw that correctly) before the wedding we were completely unprepared. My mom scurried around the house looking for fancy jewelry while I’m waiting in my abaya and boots (I didn’t feel the need to dress and impress). She calls the groom’s mom and gets the details-like where were going and what time its at- and the lady says “It will start at 6”. Okay I’m a punctual person and we didn’t even arrive at the hall until 7:10. Seeing at we got there an hour and thirty minutes late, I felt kind of bad until I saw the venue. People were still setting up and it was a ghost town in there. Oh my god when I saw that, I literally wanted to turn the corner and run. I completely understand being late- like c’mon it’s a wedding no biggie right? - WRONG. I don’t care if you’re the Queen of England or president Barrack Obama you don’t show up 3 hours late for your wedding, just no! Am I the only person that thinks it’s so rude to do that? It feels really disrespectful to me because it shows how much you care about you’re guests and apparently its very little if you arrive that late! So for literally 3 hours I’m sitting here twiddling my thumbs and remarking on the venue.

Oh gosh the venue.

So when my mom told me the address, I literally didn’t even feel like going anymore. It was on the same street as (what we call in our city) “Prostitute Alley” (if you think I’m joking, I’m not because the area was so shady and there were signs saying “Prostitutes needed”). At that point I kind of knew that I was setting myself up for disaster. I’m not one to judge a book by its cover so I gave this girl a chance. Maybe she has her hall in some shady area but it looks fantastic right?

Wrong

A little pointer to all of those who are new to the “whole wedding experience”: don’t watch wedding shows. You become so critical. I’m pointing out these little things like tablecloths aren’t ironed, fake plants everywhere etc. I wont lie, all fake things aside, it did turn out to be nice (and it was done by teenagers which is even more shocking). My sister and me headed to the bathroom (which was like a room with an open door) and I only went their once. Why you may ask? Because I don't like the way most of the girls in my city behave (not just Somali's but all girls).

“But Asiyah what’s makes you not like them?”

I’ll tell you why.

Because girls these days are WAY to focused on outer appearances. The second girls started filing in; I knew not to go to the bathroom. My sister didn’t. She goes in to use the bathroom and tells me all about the girls fixing there black or blonde locks (yes blonde), applying their makeup, or putting on fake eyelashes. I don’t get why though. Girls are beautiful without all that stuff and I feel like the girls who over apply are literally tricking people! What’s worse was that girls had extensions in. Do they not understand that you cannot pray with extensions (like with nail polish)? And besides ladies, why can’t we understand that when we over abuse makeup or clip in hair extensions, you shouldn’t feel all that great when you’re complimented. Why? Because Allah didn’t make you that way, you made yourself look like that so aint no way am I complimenting your fake hair (thank you very much).

Anyways back to the wedding.

The bride comes in at 10 (finally) and we do this chant and dance around her (if I haven’t mentioned already, I’m Somali). I didn’t dance, and I was hesitant to go watch them dance. My sister did though and came back looking just as bored as I felt. The food came in later (which was the ONLY highlight of the day) and the crazy stuff started happening.

Girls were taking selfies of themselves without hijab telling their pals which to post on their Facebook and Instagram (oh heads up, about 94% of the females that attended this wedding either had tight or see through clothing, hair showing, bra’s showing, or short dresses). I get your with women okay, but your Muslim character shouldn’t be thrown out the window along with your hijab (forgive me if that sounds like I'm being to critical but that’s just what I believe. Even if your not wearing the hijab, it should still be a part of you wherever you go). Little girls around the ages of 12 and 13 were dropping the f word like nobody’s business. The women were chattering away about other peoples businesses (like jeez you may look grown up but you

Suuuure don’t act like it) and the worst happened. They started playing music.

“But Asiyah, Somali music is totally okay”

It’s not to me, but that’s not what I was talking about.

They started playing R&B and rap songs.

So at first I frowned because c’mon yall we no better. Then my frown twisted into a grimace. Why? Because the lyrics were so damn dirty. I’m not even going to talk about the content but you can guess what the lyrics were about. What’s weird was that my family and me were the only ones who felt weird because of the music! This one girl came to my table exclaiming something along the lines of “omg this playlist is so cute but they better bump some Beyoncé for me”

Excuse me? xD

Would you say that in front of your mom? (That’s kind of like my way of saying “if your mom allows that behavior than I understand why you’re like that but if she doesn’t that JEEZ SMARTEN UP!”)

I was fed up after the music started playing, so we went home before the dancing could happen (thankfully). My mom only enjoyed the food and meeting two of her friends. Which is another thing, the next time I go to a wedding, I better know the bride. I swear to god, half of the people that showed up didn’t even know the brides name. Now why is that? Honestly, I think that everyone attending should have an invite, and should know who the bride is. Apparently weddings (or the Walimah) aren’t really about celebrating the bride’s marriage but more of social gathering to gossip, take pictures and look pretty.

As much as I didn’t like the wedding I’m glad that I attended. I now know what NOT to do for my wedding and I desperately want my family to be married. You’re probably thinking, “Wait, you just said you hated that persons wedding, so why would you want another one”

It’s because when a family hosts a wedding, we have control over who’s going to be there and so I’ll know people (so then I wont be that wallflower in the corner). Besides, not knowing whom your inviting makes your wedding less personal and I would not want that.

All and all I’m still crazy on the weddings things (they can be fun, its just you need to control who’s coming that’s all xD) and Inshallah I pray to attend more (not really excited for the Somali ones, but maybe a segregated Pakistani one, its on my list :P). I’ll also make sure to remember this first experience when its my turn to get married cause boy oh boy after that wedding, I know that is was more of a lesson than a blessing.

Oh jeez you guys I could use a hug -.-

 Tell me about your wedding stories because I would love to hear about them. Vote and comment to and make dua that I don’t have to go through another wedding fiasco.