The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

The Day I Became a Father

Anonymous, 19

I became a father last August. It was the December before that my girlfriend told me she had missed her period. She also said her cycle was sometimes like that, so at first I didn’t think anything of it. But she started this job the next day and she threw up on her new boss! Then I started to ask myself “what if…?” but I still didn’t think it was true.

The next day, we bought a home pregnancy test and the results were positive. When she told me, I told her she should go to the walk-in clinic and see a doctor to be sure. She did and when she came back she had a bunch of pamphlets and told me the results came back positive again. I was going to be a father.

That’s when I got scared but excited at the same time. We both knew we wanted to keep the baby. I thought to myself, what are the next nine months going to be like? What will our lives be like after the baby is born? Somehow, it still didn’t feel real. And then we went for our first ultrasound. When I saw this almost microscopic view of my baby, I was overwhelmed. The heartbeat was so strong. I felt so proud.

Months went by and my girlfriend felt sick a lot. Every night, I would read and speak to her belly. Around four months into the pregnancy, we found out we were having a baby boy. I was like, “Yup that’s all me. I did that.” My girlfriend had the second ultrasound when I was at work so she went with her mom. They said they could see him so clearly and I was upset. How could I miss that? I promised myself that I wouldn’t miss the next ultrasound for the world.

The next ultrasound was the last one before the baby was born. That tiny dot from the first ultrasound had grown into a baby, and I saw my son open and close his fist in her stomach. It was weird but interesting to see a life develop from something so small.

Then came the day. It was 9:45 in the morning when my girl said she saw some blood in her pee. We went to the hospital and after 16 hours of labor, my son was born. He weighed 3.71 kilograms (8 pounds and 3 ounces). It was the best day of my life.

At first, becoming a father felt real scary. I didn’t know if I was cut out for all the drama in the nighttime or diapers and all that stuff. I couldn’t even handle the fact of him coming out of my girl. Honestly, it was a very disgusting process and a lot of work. And that was just the birth. Once we brought him home, I thought: this is going to be a lot of work. Am I going to be like my father and eventually leave him like my father left me? I had real problems growing up, getting involved in bad shit, and even getting in trouble with police. All that stuff could’ve been avoided if my dad was there to help us out. I knew I didn’t want my son to go through what I went through.

I want him to have someone to talk to about growing up, friends, and eventually sex. There are just some things that a man can’t talk to his mom about.

Dads act like they don’t play an important part, but we do. When at first we took my son home, I was real nervous. I was thinking things like, Am I going to drop him? Will he love me the same as his mom or at all? But then I started noticing that, when I spent time with him, he wanted me as well. Then I realized that, if you ain’t there, how is your child going to know you at all? I still read books to him, play music to him, and even sing to him. It may sound corny but it is the best feeling in the world, being a dad. He’s my little man and I love him. Who needs the partying when you got your seed? It’s something money can’t buy.