The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

I Guess My Buddies Can Swim After All

Anonymous, 20

Okay, so it all started one August when I met a local girl in an online chat room. Even though all the previous girls I talked to on that site were just another contact on my MSN Messenger list, there was something different about this girl. Instead of just flirting, we talked about our goals and what we wanted in life, and we really shared what we had going on inside our hearts.

It’s like she was made for me, and what’s more amazing is that she seemed to be falling in love with me as well! Perfect! Just knowing her made me change my life around. I stayed out of trouble with the law and away from weed and any other drugs.

Well, after about two weeks of chatting online, we made plans to meet. Even though I’ve always thought the “beautiful inside” speech is just a load of shit to cover up for someone’s ugly exterior, I actually like the fact we met first online. It’s better because we liked each other for who we were and not what we looked like. And when we met in person, she was beautiful, but I was attracted to her even more because of everything we’d talked about.

Two weeks later, we were completely in love. One night, we were making out and touching hardcore, and we couldn’t take it anymore. We went into the bedroom, took each other’s clothes off, and had sex. I had condoms in my pocket but I didn’t use them. I really didn’t want to use a condom ’cause this was our first time and I wanted it to feel amazing. It was amazing.

A few months went by and we continued to have sex often, always without condoms. She wasn’t getting pregnant, so I just thought my sperm was dead from my drug days. More months went by and it was all good. We had fun and enjoyed life, did everything together, and pregnancy was never on our minds.

Then one day, seven months later, she started feeling sick. She would get nauseous and dizzy and have mood swings and weird food cravings—all the usual signs of pregnancy.

We made an appointment for a pregnancy test at a local clinic. Obviously, we wanted to know as soon as possible so we could have time to review our options. The day came and she had the test done, and 10 minutes later the nurse brought us the results: she was pregnant.

I was shocked, but not really afraid—not like those people who get all suicidal and think life is over just ’cause they’re pregnant.

Sure, it kind of worried me to think about living our best years tied down with a kid. And going through with an abortion didn’t sound like fun. But I really loved her and the fact she had my kid inside her was a nice thought, and I now knew my sperm was working just fine. We both took some time and gave our situation a lot of thought. We would have loved to keep the baby, but we decided it would be better to wait a few years until we were economically stable and were more prepared overall for a kid. We decided that she would have an abortion.

We made the appointment. As we waited for the day to come, she had mood swings and it was like she was a different person at times. But I loved her so I comforted her and was always there for her, even when she was in the worst of moods.

I also spoke to my favorite teacher about the whole thing. He’s the best teacher I’ve ever had, and I can talk about anything with the guy. He couldn’t understand how I didn’t want to get her pregnant yet I wasn’t using condoms or other birth control.

I couldn’t explain it, really. I guess, like I said it, it feels too good without a condom and I thought my sperm was dead anyway. I guess I just got lucky for a while.

Then the day came and it was time for the abortion. We went back to the clinic where they did some tests before we went to the actual hospital. This all began early in the morning and I waited in the hospital for hours until the procedure was done. Afterward, she was under close supervision for about an hour after waking up from the anesthetic. The doctor said the abortion had gone perfectly and she would be fine. I was relieved to hear that ’cause the whole time she was in there I was worried about what could happen and that it might be painful. It was weird because, when she came out from it, she was normal and smiling; she even looked relieved. I had expected her to come out limping in pain or something. I was relieved as well to see her smiling and to know she was no longer pregnant. The doctor said she shouldn’t do any exercise, drink alcohol, or have sex for two weeks from that day. Besides that she was fine and could still go to school.

This whole experience has taught me to use birth control, like we do now, and to give things more thought before I do them, to think of the long-term consequences of my actions.

We’re still together and she doesn’t seem traumatized or anything from the experience. The only thing is that we really wanted to keep the baby. It would have been nice if we could have, but I guess it’s something we can look forward to in the future.