Helpless - Hamilton x Washington

Chapter 7

⚠️WARNING⚠️
(This chapter does contain a suicide attempt!! Read at your own caution!!)

Alex's POV

"I bet they're going to send you back to where ever the hell you can from!" My bully, Thomas Jefferson, yelled in my face. He had me pinned up against the lockers. So cliche.

I didn't say anything. Anything I said would give me a punch in the face. But if I didn't say anything at all, I would still get punched.

"N-No comment." I stuttered out. He pushed me hard against the lockers. A cough escaped my lips.

"They should send you back, you should bring Washington with you!" He said. Wait, why Washington?

"Why Washington?" I asked. Him and his gang of jocks laughed. Why was it funny?

"We know Alexander." Madison said behind his boyfriend. I tilted my head in confused.

"We all know you live with Washington. You probably fuck each other. Maybe that's why your still passing." Jefferson said. How did they know? Who told them.

"W-Who told you?!" I stuttered. Did... no... he didn't!

"Oh, your little boyfriend Aaron! He told the WHOLE school!" He bragged in my face. A evil laugh escaped his mouth. No... NO! NOT THE WHOLE SCHOOL!

Jefferson laughed again and threw a punch at my face. Fuck fuck fuck. It hurt like hell. He kept on punching me and kicking me. God, please stop this!

Before he could attack again, the bell rang. The Bell. Thank the lord! He ran off with his gang to their next class.

I was about to head off to my next class before I noticed something. Shit, my bruises will draw attention. Aaron bought me makeup to cover up the bruises and cuts he made. I ran to my locker to grab my makeup bag. Did he really tell the WHOLE school?!

My luck got better, guess who I ran into? Aaron. He had a shocked expression and ran to me. Was he actually worried about me?

"What the hell happened to you?!" He whispered shouted. I was about to answer when I realized, oh god he's angry.

"Did you forget to put on makeup this morning?! Go and fix yourself up!" He commanded. I felt like I could burst into tears. Was that all he cared about?!

I rushed on the bathroom to find Hercules and Lafayette. Great. "Alex! It's great to- Wait, What happened to your face?!" Hercules yelled.

I had to stay away from them, even if Aaron wasn't around. "It's none of your business..."

Hercules and Lafayette both looked at each and back at me. "Alex... were really worried about you. You never talk to us anymore. And you have a black eye!" Lafayette said in a more calmer tone.

You don't know how badly I wanted to sob and run into their arms. But I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to answer them.

Tears started to flow into my eyes. They couldn't see me like this, Nobody could! I ran right out of the bathroom, leaving the make up behind.

"Alex wait!" Both of them said together. I couldn't do it no more! I can't  play this game of pretending that I'm okay! Not anymore!

All I did was ran home, didn't care about school or nothing!

I just wanted to be free...

I flung open the front door. Weird how it was unlocked. That didn't matter. I rushed through the kitchen cabinets trying to find any type of pills.

Shit, I'm probably going to have to write a suicide note too. Maybe it would protect my... legacy? Who am I kidding?! Nobody's going to remember a useless pill of shit like me!

Once I found some random type of pills, I ran upstairs to my room. The note. Washington wasn't going to be home for awhile so I could take how ever long I wanted. I grabbed a pen and started to write.

Dear world,

For my pain of this cruel world has tore me down. From broken dreams to broken hearts, I can not continue... Many times I have thought of reaching out for help, but the after math would be another stain of my past. My path of torture could strike astonishment into the angels up above! For these are my last word of this world of miss opportunities...

Ever yours,
Alexander

Was this letter good enough?! Of course it wasn't! I'm never good enough!

I looked at my hand to see a full bottle of pills. This was the end. Right here right now. Suddenly I heard banging on my door.

Oh shit...

"ALEXANDER! OPEN UP!" Washington yelled from the other side. Wait, why is he here?! He suppose to be at school! Well... so am I...

"NO!" I yelled back! I couldn't face him. That was too much! My head was foggy. Everything was going by so fast.

Fuck it.

I opened the bottle and poured half of it in my mouth. It was a small amount but enough to kill me.

My bedroom door flung down to the floor, Washington being the one to break it down. He had a terrified expression on his face.

"NOO!" He screamed and tackled me to the ground. He held his arms around my stomach and tried to push out the pills.

The pills flew out of my mouth, but I was still able to swallow some of them. Loud sobs escaped my mouth. Everything I've been holding in flew out.

"IM SO SORRY!" I cried out. God I was going to die! Right in front of the love of my life! Well, I guess that's how everyone wants to die. With somebody they love.

"Ambulance is on its way Alex." Washington said in a calming tone. He was cradling me like I was a baby, I felt like one too.

"IM GOING TO DIE!!" I sobbed out. It was true, I'm going to die. This is it. This is a perfect chance to tell him.

He was about to say something before I cut him off. "I LOVE YOU WASHINGTON! I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU, EVER SINCE I SAW YOU! IT WONT MATTER NOW THAT IM GOING DIE!" I bawled out.

My vision was starting to get blurry. Everything was fading away. My ears started to ring. All I could remember was the last thing I saw...

Washington...