Helpless - Hamilton x Washington

Chapter 6

⚠️WARNING⚠️
(This chapter contains self harm and suicidal thoughts!! Read at your own caution!!)

Alex's POV

I felt dead. Nothing had matter to me anymore. I had been through it all. Was I even alive? Lafayette and Hercules were worried about me. Aaron said he didn't want me hanging out with them.

Aaron was the puppet master, and guess who I was. The puppet. This relationship was my main problem. I had a bunch of other problems too.

There's Thomas Jefferson and his always sick Boyfriend, James Madison. Seriously, he should go see a doctor. But anyway, it was like it was their goal to make my life more miserable. God they are such assholes.

Then keeping my grades okay in school. All the stuff we were learning was easy, but Aaron would always hurt me if I got better grades than him. Instead of getting 95s or 100s, I was getting 70s. Why did I have to dumb myself for him?!

Then finally, George Washington. He was kinda the only reason I'm alive. When ever I thought about him my heart sung. I loved every thing about him. His muscles, his smile, his voice.

I've accepted that I love him. But if I ever told him I felt that way, he would think I'm a freak. Maybe I could have a chance with him after high school or college.

But for now I was trapped, I was in a cage Aaron made for me. Like a pet. Usually pet are treated kindly, but Aaron was monster to me.

"ALEX!" Mr.Adams yelled in my face. I jumped up at the loud noise. Most of the class laughed or made a 'oooooh' noise. His face full of anger.

"IM SICK OF YOUR SHIT HAMILTON!! GO HOME!" Mr.Adams screamed in my face. His voice echoed through the room. I felt like I could burst into tears right then at there. But Lafayette, Hercules and Aaron were watching.

"Y-Yes sir..." I choked out, stand up gathering up my stuff. If this couldn't get any worst. I roughly shoved my stuff in my dark green backpack and left class.

Right when I passed by Aaron, he looked at me with disappointment. I felt like one too. Nobody really cared for me, did they? They probably all pity me. Yeah, who would care for a orphan, immigrant, faggot, bastard. The list continued. God I'm such a failure.

3rd POV

As Alex was rushing for the exit if the school, he bumped into Mr.Washington.
"A-Alex, where are you going?!" Washington asked. He could see Hamilton's eyes were about to swell with tears.

"H-Home..." Alexander stuttered out. Before Washington could question why, Alex ran off. Washington knew what class he right now. So he decided to bring home Alex's work from that class.

He started to make his way to said class. But he couldn't help wonder why Alexander was upset. Did Mr.Adams upset him? Anger filled his body at that thought.

Once Washington got to Mr.Adams's room, he didn't bother to walk in. Mr.Adams thought it was just the wind that opened the door, so did the students.

Washington gave a tiny cough to signal that he was in the room. People looked up and gasped. EVERYBODY was scared of Washington. Last month, he flipped a desk on Mr.Adams because Mr.Adams was making him mad. Nobody messed with him after that.

Funny thing is, he knew Mr.Adams was scared of him. "O-Oh, Mr.Washington! W-What brings you h-here?" Mr.Adams weakly stuttered.

Washington simply laughed in his head. "I've come to get Alexander Hamilton's homework for this class." He said in a tone of clarification.

"Of C-C-Course!" Mr.Adams panicked to say. He quickly went through the mess of papers on his desk, trying to find the homework for that night.

Washington was growing impatient. "Hurry." He spat out. Mr.Adams jumped and squeaked at his tone. He flipped through the papers as fast as he could. Probably got a few paper cuts.

Once he finally found the assignment, he felt like a wanted to sing. "H-Here!" He frantically handed him the homework. And like that, he left the room.

Alex's POV (AGAIN)

I frantically jumped through the window of my house. Why was I a huge disappointment?! Why did everything bad have to happen to me?! What did I do to deserve this pain?! God, why don't I just kill my self already?!

I'll tell you why! I'm a wuss! All my life I ran way from my problems or just put them by the side cause I was too scared to face them myself! I put my abusive relationship with Aaron aside. I put Thomas and Madison aside. I put my past aside. All because I'm too scared!

Fuck it!

My feet lead me to the upstairs bathroom. This was the only way to prove myself I was alive. Was I even alive? I made sure I locked the door just in case Washington came home.

What would he do if he saw me? A part me hoped that he would embrace me and tell me everything was alright. Even if it wasn't, he still tell me.

I quickly tried to find a razor. Once I found it, I pulled up my sleeve. Was I really about to do this? Yes, yes I was. Slash after slash went a cross my arm. It hurt like hell, but this was the only way to know I was alive.

My cuts were deep, but not enough to kill me. After awhile of cutting, I dropped the razor. God, I have to clean up this mess. Before I could, made sure to bandage my arms. Already knew I was going to be sore tomorrow.

After I finished cleaning up my mess, I flopped onto my bed. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips. My eyes started to flutter close. I'll admit, I was exhausted. Even though I didn't deserve the nap, I took it. God, I'm so... so...

Helpless