Suicide Attempt • Larry Stylinson

• Chapter 21 •

Louis had already survived 3 lessons without looking at Harry, or that would actually be a lie. He had sneaked glances at him whenever he wasn't looking, just to speculate, Louis tried to persuade himself. But now, sitting with Niall in the full cafeteria, he couldn't help but look at Harry every now and then again. He just wants to keep an eye on him, nothing else, he tried to convince himself over and over again.

Louis looked at Niall and smiled, he was currently trying to swallow all of his coke in one go.

''You know, that will never succeed,'' Louis laughed as he took a bite on his chocolate muffin he'd earlier bought.

''I'm just trying to make you smile,'' Niall said ever so lowly and Louis had to move closer to hear him.

''Why's that?'' Louis asked.

''You haven't smiled or laughed a lot recently. And all that stuff about Zayn and Harry must really be bothering you,'' Niall said. He placed his now half empty coke on the table and then continued. ''And I don't want their problems to affect you, you know?''

Louis smiled at Niall's concerned behaviour. ''It isn't really bothering me that much,'' he lied.

Niall looked at him confused, ''but, yesterday?''

''Don't you worry your pretty little mind, Nialler,'' he said and looked into Niall's blue eyes. They are a really nice colour and Louis hadn't noticed until now. ''You have really pretty eyes by the way,'' Louis said before he quickly stood up to throw away his trash. How could he let that slip out? For God's sake, Niall was his only friend.

Louis glanced at Harry in the back of the room as he opened the trashcan. Now, his eyes, are something to talk about, Louis thought as he let his own eyes stare into the green coloured that was Harry's. The curly boy didn't look at him though, he was looking at Zayn sitting opposite him and laughing about something the other boy had just said. Louis longed to sit by the popular table with Harry and all those others social kings or queens of the school. His longing and cravings were quite quickly denied when he felt a body push him to the floor. ''Fag!'' He spat out before leaving Louis on the floor. Oh right, that's why he would never be able to become popular.

''And why are you wearing those girly bracelets? That's right, because you're a little girl,'' another man laughed and Louis just wanted to sink into the ground and never come back. Pretty much the whole cafeteria was laughing or looking at him, humiliating him. Just because someone did something mean to Louis it meant that everyone could fucking lay his hands on him. It was like if one started, then it was okay for others to continue.

Louis took a quick glance in Harry's direction, only to see him looking at Niall with a somewhat blank face.

''Answer me, you little filthy queer,'' the nameless man hissed.

''No,'' Louis said before he shoved himself backwards on his bum, trying to get away from the unknown man. When he was a few metres away he stood up and ran. Niall following quickly behind.

Louis was once again tired of all this bullshit. How comes no teacher or someone like that never notices anything? How could the food ladies not see what was going on and stop them? Maybe no one truly cared after all. . .

~

Harry was quite furious at those men who had hurt Louis both mentally and physically. They had no right to do those things to him, or say those disgusting words to him.

But, maybe Harry neither had the right to say that about those men? Harry had pretty much done everything they did to Louis 10 times worse, every single day.

''Harry, that's messed up,'' Zayn said, as they leaved the cafeteria. ''I mean, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hurt Louis more than I already have,'' he confessed.

''W-what? B-but he's gay?'' Harry more like asked himself than Zayn.

''Yes? But I don't think we should attack him because of that.'' Zayn had now stopped walking causing Harry to do the same, in an empty corridor.

''What? You've gone and gotten gay too, haven't you? Haha, '' Harry laughed, looking at Zayn with an amused face.

''Erm, haha, no of course I haven't,'' Zayn fake laughed, letting the lie slip out of his mouth easily. What he wondered though, was how Harry could be such an empty hearted homophobic asshole sometimes.

''Well, why would you want to stop teasing him then?'' Harry asked confused.

''Harry, let's be honest here, I think we've crossed the teasing line a long time ago,'' Zayn said seriously.

''It's still fun to keep doing it, though,'' Harry said, laughing a little. He was now lying too. The bullying towards Louis wasn't fun anymore, not since he found out about Louis attempted suicide. But he still kept doing it.

What none of the two boys knew was the fact that they both no longer wanted to hurt Louis. Harry was lying about that, and Zayn was lying about his sexuality. A friendship built up by trust was now breaking down because of one boy.

''Harry, seriously, we're seventeen years old. Louis is almost eighteen, we can't keep doing this shit forever. I can now imagine how much Louis is actually hurting,'' Zayn admitted.

''What do you mean, now imagine?'' Harry asked confused, raising an eyebrow.

Zayn's eyes swelled up and he quickly said, ''it doesn't matter,'' before coughing a little.

''What I meant to say, is that I am not going to keep doing this. If you want to abuse Louis, fine, but I will no longer stand up for you,'' Zayn said, looking into Harry's green eyes.

''But it was you that started it all? You told me to follow your lead and do whatever you did to Louis? You was the one telling me it was okay to do it, Zayn, you told me that!'' Harry said, letting a silent tear slip out of his eye.

''I know, I know. But don't put all of the blame on me, Harry,'' Zayn said, he too, letting a few tears slip out of his eyes.

''But- but why did you even start all of this? Why did you choose Louis as your target? I mean, there's three other gay people at this school, why Louis?'' Harry asked, now disputing himself and his actions for the past years.

''God, Harry, that's a different story. All I'm saying is that this is the end of my bullying towards Louis. Thank you, now I'm leaving,'' Zayn said, turning away and leaving Harry confused and shattered. If this meant being the end of their friendship, then so be it, Zayn thought. He wasn't going to keep doing this to his boyfriend's best friend, not after realising how similar he himself -Zayn- and Louis really are.

•*•*•

Fastest update I've ever done, woho.

AND CAN I JUST SAY THAT I LOVE ZAYN FOR STANDING UP FOR LOUIS? ISN'T THAT CUTE? AND WHAT ABOUT LOUIS' AND NIALL'S RELATIONSHIP? THEY ARE TOO CUTE TOGETHER OMG MAYBE I SHOULD CHANGE THIS STORY TO A NOUIS ONE? HAHA OKAY BYE