Suicide Attempt • Larry Stylinson

• Chapter 06 •

The rest of the car ride home was quiet, awkward and last but not least, weird. The air had been so tense you could actually hear your own breathing.

They had both stopped talking after Louis outbreak, neither of them had expected those words from Louis.

Jay had put one of her hands over her mouth when Louis' outbreak was done. She had been shocked. Nothing more, nothing less. Never in her whole life had she thought about Louis in that way.

Jay had decided that every free seconds, minutes, hours and days she could get a hold on from now on would be spent with Louis. She had seen it in his eyes that he really needed support, and Jay was going to give him that no matter what.

Louis however had felt released, scared but also confident. Almost proud of himself, the tears had been real but that hadn't been a sign of weakness. The opposite actually.

When Jay finally pulled up by the house Louis rushed out of the car and then in to the house, crawling up the stairs before collapsing on his bed.

The whole week had been really exhausting and he could defiantly use a good night's sleep - in a comfortable bed where you don't need to change position every 20 minutes because it feels like you're laying on a plank.

Yeah, that's right, hospital beds aren't that comfortable.

''Oh god, what have I done," was the last words Louis said before drifting of to a wonderland - also called dreams.

***

Two days later, Louis was on his way to school. First day out of his house since the car ride home from the hospital. Jay had done everything she could to sit down with Louis and have a talk, but all he had been doing the two days at home was lying in his bed and pray for God to kill him, again.

But that praying obviously didn't give anything to him in return.

Louis stumbled out of his car and then fixed his jacket. He kept his head low as always, no exception just because he survived a suicide attempt.

He could feel eyes staring at him but he didn't care, they always did and it seemed like this was just one of those times.

What if Harry hasn't told the school about it yet? What if he hasn't told everyone about Louis cutting himself or his love for Harry? What if he hasn't told the school about Louis suicide attempt -which Louis was pretty sure would be all over the school newspaper by now-?

What if Harry hasn't said anything at all? Louis thought.

Louis got to the school halls without any further looks. Though, he could feel peoples gazes at him.

Louis went to his locker to pull out his math books and pencils he needed for class. When they were out, he sighed and shut the locker, leaning against it after that.

Louis felt ashamed to see Harry again, since he now knew about all of Louis' secrets that only he -himself- should know about.

And worse of all is that Harry now knows about Louis stupid love for him.

Louis pulled up his phone and looked at the time, 08:58 AM. That means 2 minutes to class.

Louis thought it would be best if he just went to the classroom already so he wouldn't have peoples eyes at him while he entered.

He did as he thought and went to the room where 3 or 4 girls sat in, waiting for the teacher. Louis walked to the back of the room and settled himself down. He pulled out his math book and started working.

Soon students started to arrive through the door to later take their seats. The teacher came in and started the lesson, without any Harry in the room.

Louis couldn't work at all, his mind was everywhere but math. He thought about life in general. Thought about all the bad things he's done. Thought about everyone that hates him. Thought about his fat rolls on his stomach. Thought about Harry. Thought about how the hell he survived from the suicide attempt, but most of his thoughts were about who found him in his room, almost dead.

His thoughts however was interrupted -again- by no other than Harry himself, walking through the door and apologising for being late.

Louis took a quick glance up to look at Harry and he soon realised that Harry was looking back at him,

tears rolling down his face.

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