Suicide Attempt • Larry Stylinson

• Chapter 02 •

Louis put out the headphones from his ears and then dried a few tears that were silently making their way down his cheeks.

No Louis stop it. You can't cry, that's a sign of weakness and you don't want to seem weak do you?

No. But the truth is that ;
I am weak, I'm destroyed. I'm worthless, I'm ugly. I'm fat, I'm a waste of space. I'm a failure,
I am a nothing, Louis thought.

He went to the bathroom that is connected with his bedroom. Their house is pretty big and therefore everyone has an own bathroom. Louis dad owned a really big company before he passed away, and his family got pretty much all of the inheritance, so yes, they're rich even though nobody in his school knows about that. And he wanted to keep it that way. It wouldn't even matter if he did tell anyone, sure, someone would maybe start talking to him but he would end up used for the money anyway. No one cares, he knows that.

Louis opened one of the cupboards and took out one of the things that he's been using non-stop the past weeks. A razor. He slid down against the bathroom wall and the tears started flowing down his face immediately. This isn't how he wanted his life to end, this couldn't be it. But unfortunately it was and he knew it even though he didn't want to admit it.

He brought the razor towards his left arm and then pulled up the sleeve. There it was, scars all the way from his elbow down to his wrist. It's disgusting actually, but however, it works for the pain in his body and heart for the moment and well, that's better than nothing right?

Louis cut a slice and the blood made its way down his arm immediately.

Because you're a waste of space.

Slice

Because you're worthless.

Slice

Because you're fat.

Slice

Because everyone hates you.

Slice

Because you're disgusting.

Slice

Because you're ugly.

Slice

Because you're gay.

Slice

The last one was really dumb actually. He shouldn't really cut because he's gay but he did it anyways. Mostly because Harry hates gays.

The new seven cuts were really deep and the pain was repulsive. But it felt good. He seemed to just disappear for a moment and for that, he was glad.

The blood was streaming down his arm and he like it that way. Blood is fun and fascinating, he thought.

Louis grabbed a towel and twirled it around his arm before he then went back to his bedroom.

He put his iPhone on the speaker and went back to his bed. He threw himself down onto it and buried his face in the pillow.

He thought back to his happy days with Liam before the accident. Liam was his best friend of all time. He understood Louis like no one did and he was always there for him, no matter what.

They spent nights and days with each other and it felt like nothing could tear tear them apart. Oh, how wrong he was.

He remember that night like it was yesterday.

.

Louis was on his way home, the winter air was calming him down but he couldn't shake of the strange feeling that something was wrong, it was a feeling that Louis had no experience of.

He didn't pay much attention to it though since he didn't know what to do to it, he just kept walking.

It was snowing and the only light that lit up the empty streets came from the lampposts by the rode.

His drama class that he had once a week had just ended and Liam had offered Louis a ride home, but Louis declined. He had always loved walking by himself in the cold winter weather.

Suddenly his phone started beeping and Louis quickly pulled it out from his jeans pocket.

''Hello?'' Louis answered quietly.

''Louis?'' The woman's voice said and he immediately recognised the voice on the other end, Liam's mum.

''Yea?'' He answered and bit his lip.

''Liam was in a car accident and he's injured. A lot.'' That was all Louis needed to hear before he fell down onto the ground. His whole world seemed to stop at that point and he could hear Liam's mums worried voice from the device he had dropped to the ground.

He felt empty, like everything he had had was breaking and he felt a pang in his heart. He curled into a ball and started cry.

This was it, the bad feeling he had had in his heart the whole way home was finally proven.

Louis didn't even have to ask Liam's mum how bad it was, because he could feel it. Liam was dead and there was nothing he could do about it.