Suicide Attempt • Larry Stylinson

• Chapter 09 •

Days passed, tea cups were made, grass turned into frosty grounds and the days became more and more darker the further into the evening you came. The summer turned into Autumn, and you could easily see on people that this was one of their favourite seasons. Autumn meant sombre nights with a lot of candles and cuddling in front of the tv, cold days and colourless landscapes. Autumn meant cozy things, and people for that matter. Louis had always loved the autumn, he thought that was one of his favourite seasons. Though, nothing could beat winter. Louis liked the fact that he could wear big cozy sweaters, not only for the comfortable fabric, but also to hide what he called his 'fat rolls'. Louis never had fat rolls though, he had an amazing built body with a lot of muscles. His skin was beautiful coloured, almost like some kind of oil. No one saw that though, all he was to the public eye was a loser, geek and a fag.

Louis had sat at home in his big window every night, looking out to see some kind of movement. Louis had felt numb, no idea of why. He just felt like he was flying, his mind and heart were nowhere on earth. His body walked around there though, like a ghost. He didn't feel pain anymore, he was simply numb, on the inside and outside. He hadn't spoke to anyone since that school day where he had met Harry in the bathrooms. He had just sat at home, everyday he just sat there. Not for any particular reason. He just sat. Trying to understand what was going on around him. He had faked sick for almost a week now. He couldn't bare to look people in the eyes anymore. He couldn't bare to look at other bodies anymore. He just compared his own self with others, and that only made him feel worse and worse about himself. Louis felt weightless.

He had tucked himself under a couple of blankets and duvets. Just lying there, trying to figure out reasons for him to stay alive.

The brown haired boy looked out towards the dark sky, trying to find stars in sight, which he did. And he was quite amazed by that. Stars were beautiful and Louis felt like each star had a special reason for its existence.

Louis was actually amazed by a lot. Especially the rain. Oh god, how much didn't he like the rain? Louis loved it with his whole heart and he wasn't afraid to admit that.

A whole week had passed and Louis hadn't socialised with anyone. He had just been alone in his room, drinking tea, reading books, listen to music or just slept all day, but he had to return to his hell hole school tomorrow, whether he liked it or not.

Bzzz

What the hell was that?

Louis glanced over to his right where he saw his phone lit up. Meaning a new text message or some dumb game notification, probably the latter, Louis had thought.

He didn't bother to look at the phone, because really, who would text him? And game notifications were just utterly boring.

Bzzz

''Fucking hell just leave me alone you stupid thing," Louis had halfheartedly screamed at his phone. He thought he was going mad, I mean really, talking to your own phone? No, that's not normal.

Bzzz

Louis had had enough and he sat himself up fiercely, mostly out of anger. Who dared to ruin Louis' perfect day by a text?

The lad had quickly pressed the lock screen button, only to be surprised by a text from an unknown number,

Where r u?

had the first one read. Louis was shocked, who the hell was this and why had it texted Louis?

He quickly read the second text and the definition shocked would be a huge understatement of what he was.

Sorry, it's Harry. Uh, where were u this week? Got kind of scared for a moment there, u ok? - H

Okay so what the actual fuck had Louis just read?

And how the hell had Harry got his number?

And why the fuck did Harry text him?

And why did it make Louis feel some kind of happy feeling?

Things were just so confusing and Louis had no idea of what he was supposed to do? Should he answer? Of course he should, he just needed to come up with some smart ass answer.

Minutes later and he still hadn't come up with any good answered.

Louis? -H

Another message read. Louis was on the edge to furious by now. Why was Harry texting him, pretending to care when he absolutely couldn't care less.

Don't text me. -L

The blue eyed boy quickly replied. So much for a smart ass answer.

Louis fell asleep like that, with a phone in his hand and fully dressed. Thinking about how he was going to face Harry the next day.

-

Louis pulled up by the school the other day, seeing Harry and his gang talking passionately by the main entrance. Well fuck, Louis thought as he turned the vehicle off to later jump out from the car. This wasn't good, nowhere near good. This was bad. Bad, bad, bad. Louis wasn't ready to face Harry, not yet. But would he ever be ready to face that curly haired boy? Probably not.

Louis picked up his backpack from the backseat while plugging his iPhone to his black headphones. He then went to his iPod and turned on Ed Sheeran's album 'Plus'. He liked that album, a lot. It had helped him through a huge amount of things. He felt like he could somehow rely on Ed, even as crazy as it sounds, he could. Ed was, is, and always would be one of his favourite artists.

Louis started walking towards the school. Oh boy, what he would do to just sink down in a black hole right then and there. This would be awkward, he could feel it in his veins.

He got closer and closer to Harry's gang. Louis took a quick look at the beautiful flawless Harry, he had bed head, black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and bracelets. Oh god, he was perfect with that cute dimple smile of his.

''Wazzup fag!'' Someone called when he passed the group.

''Ey, queer, why aren't you answering when we're calling for you?'' Another one yelled. Louis looked up and saw Harry standing at the back of the group, he was quiet. He didn't say anything. He just stood there.

''I hate my life," Louis mumbled when he passed them, quiet so it wasn't any chances of anyone of them hearing it.

Harry heard him though. He heard Louis' comment and felt his heart sink to the bottom of his gut. His whole heart broke at that special comment. Why? He had no idea. But he knew that he was going to talk to Louis, no matter what.

''Why didn't you say anything, mate?'' Josh asked.

''Wasn't up for it,'' Harry simply answered.

''Why?''

''Just tired I guess,'' Harry mumbled before he walked off to his first lesson.

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