Suicide Attempt • Larry Stylinson

• Chapter 08 •

Louis didn't know what he was ought to do, so he followed his instinct and refused to listen to his heart or brain, just his instinct.

He turned around and glared at Harry, ''do not touch me, ever again!'' he ordered and then threw the younger boy's hand off of his shoulder.

''Oh, s-sorry," Harry stuttered in response.

''Yeah, yeah, whatever," Louis said while rolling his eyes. He had no idea where all of this assertiveness had came from, but he didn't care since he liked to feel some kind of power.

''Eh, Louis about. . . uh. . . the vid-''

''Don't.'' Louis quickly cut him off and then ran away. He didn't want to argue and such about that then and there. Everything was just so wrong.

Louis made his way to his locker and took out his English books. Great, another lesson on his own.

The clock rang and Louis hurried to be the first one in, people staring at him was one of the things he hated most of all.

He spotted a table at the back, clearly cut out from the other ones. Louis would describe that table as the 'outcast table'. The one who were bullied in the classes always sat there. So yeah, of course Louis made his way over there.

People started flowing in and Louis wanted nothing more than the day to be over. Much to his surprise some took the seat beside him. What the hell?

''Mind if I join you?'' A voice asked. Oh yeah, Louis remembered that voice.

''Uh, not at all. Though, you might wanna sit with someone else. I'm not quite. . . Uh, what do you say? Popular around here. . .'' Louis answered.

The blonde boy just shrugged and sat down, placing his books on the table after.

''I never got the chance to introduce myself some days ago. My name's Niall, I'm from Ireland as you might hear?'' He said and giggled after, ''Do ya remember me? The one you met in the bathrooms and also the one that helped you to not get your ass kicked. Yeah, still quite proud over myself for yelling at those bastards," the guy -Niall- finished and sighed happily.

''Y-yeah, I remember you. Thanks for the help, eh? My name's Louis, but you probably already knew that, I mean, who doesn't?'' Louis answered and then looked at Niall's face, just in time to see sadness overtaking it.

''Class, settle down. Today we're going to finish our personal poems. I'm very excited to see your final results. I know that it has been hard to write them but I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of all of you," the teacher babbled, Louis didn't pay much attention as always, until someone mentioned his name.

''Yeah right, like you're proud of the queer over there?'' Someone shouted and the Ireland boy beside Louis shifted uncomfortably as all eyes were on him.

''Language!'' The teacher demanded, but what would that help? Yeah sure, they'd shut up for about 3 minutes but then they'd continue again. Louis was so sick of life.

Everyone started working on their poems as Louis sunk back in his seat.

''Hey, Louis. Can I get your number?'' Niall asked excitedly.

Louis thought about it for a while, what if Niall was only using him and then he'd embarrass Louis for the whole school? He couldn't let that happen. But looking at Niall right there made all those thoughts vanish. That cute little blonde guy wouldn't even hurt a fly, he could feel it.

''Sure," Louis decided and took Niall's phone in his hand. He quickly typed in his number as Niall continued with his poem. When he was done with typing, he gave it back. Sighing happily because maybe, just maybe he had made a friend. But Louis quickly brushed that thought off. He wouldn't classify Niall as a friend, yet.

Louis glanced down at the brown paper in front of him. He was actually really proud of his own poem, it described every feeling and thought in his head, heart and body.

What do you call it when all you feel is pain?

When your loved ones look at you and all you feel is shame?

When you're tired of living and playing this game?

when you know your life is meaningless and you're the only one to blame?

What do you call it when the hurt is in your soul?

When you smile and laugh but you know its all a show?

When you feel like you've hit your all time low?

When nothing makes you happy and the darkness around you grows?

What do you call it when you feel so alone?

When you're in your house but it doesn't feel like home?

When you look back in your life and every choice you made now seems wrong?

When the wait to die seems too long.

The poem was beautiful, no denying in that. But Louis couldn't give that poem to the teacher, it was way to personal and emotional, it would also destroy all reputation he had left. If he even had that.

•*•*•

The poem wasn't written by me, I took it from this site:

http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/when-all-you-feel-is-pain#DIeuAm4IDM1mA7fW.99

Give all credit to her. The poem was actually really beautiful and emotional. If you just skipped the poem part then I suggest you to go back and read it.

•*•*•