Taking On A New Challenge (Graylor)

Performance For A Cause

Taylor POV

There are only 2 performances which I’m supposed to do whilst I’m here in LA though out of the two today's is going to be the hardest. I’m debuting my newest single at the Stand Up 2 Cancer event tonight which raises fund for cancer research. Tonight was going to be more work than the VMA performance last night as last night was about my fans and my single We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, tonight was about a little boy - Ronan who died of neuroblastoma. My new single being debut tonight Ronan was inspired by a blog written by Ronan’s mom Maya which portrayed all the struggles which they went through and how much of an impact the illness which Ronan had was impacting on the family.

Whilst I wrote this song a few years ago now, it hasn’t come to have such an impact on me until recently. Since Mary has come into my life I’ve really gained the understanding of what being a mom is like, she is the reason why Ronan has such an impact on me now. I can’t bear to think about what life would be like if something was to happen to Mary because I won’t let anything happen to her - she is my whole world. Maya is inspirational especially with how dedicated she is to fighting for cancer research and help for the sick children because they are fighting for their lives anyway. She’s the reason I wanted to release this single of mine and have all the proceeds from people buying my single going to cancer research.

I know Maya is around as I’ve heard people asking where she is as I sit in my dressing room waiting for the time for me to perform. It makes sense that she’s here as she’s almost like an ambassador for cancer research and tonight. I’d even placed her on my single as a co-writer as a form of dedication to her and Ronan. My only fear about performing is that I won’t give the song which I wrote for her justice, that it doesn’t connect with the audience and inspire others to become involved with cancer research and fundraising. However I know that my fans will have an impact on it and they will love it so hopefully things will be successful.

I knew that I couldn’t do it alone tonight which is why I’d brought Mom as my date and my publicist was here also but I wished that Grant was here. I knew that if he was here then everything would be alright and he would help me to be strong but he’s not so I’m on my own. I’m not completely alone as Paul and Al are here but I still feel like I’m not really sure that I can do this performance especially with the strength of this song. Ronan is such an emotional song that I’ve already broken down several times today; I had to stop rehearsals earlier as I couldn’t hold it all together. I only hope that I don’t look like a fool on stage tonight and I’m able to control my emotions and not break down on stage from it all.

My head is all over the place with thoughts as I look into the mirror in my dressing room whilst my team fix up my make-up and make sure that I’m performance ready. I can’t help thinking about how I would be if the situation which Maya has had to go through was a situation that I had to face with Mary. I mean Mary isn’t even biologically mine but I’d still be a mess if something happened to her or she got really sick. I don’t even want to think about it but there is still the chance that Mary could be leaving me soon anyway as she could choose to go and live with her mom. I don’t want her to leave as she’s the largest light to my life, Mary and Grant make my life complete.

I heard a knock at the door to which I turned round from the mirror as mom opened the door. Maya walked into my dressing room and I could tell that she’d obviously been looking for me.

“Hey Taylor” Maya said to which I had to get up and hug herm I knew that today was going to be hard with all the stuff about Ronan and how he died. Though the performance I was doing was for her and for Ronan, no one else and I wanted to Maya happy

“Maya, Hey!” I say getting up and hugging her close in support.

“I just wanted to come and thank you for the song as I really appreciate all the effort you must have gone to writing it” Maya said and I was so touched by how appreciative she was about the song but it really was no effort at all. I did feel for her about how her emotions and moods must be all over the place today.