Little Love Letters

Chapter ten

Little Love Letters

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Chapter ten

School was complete devastation.
Everybody would tell me how sorry they were and giving me sympathy.
I kept my distance from everybody,but it's really hard when you are the most wanted-to-talk-to person at the moment.

I don't want sympathy.I don't want people to feel sorry for me. It makes everything worse knowing that.

Conner on the other hand was still moving his fingers, but they had no idea when he would wake, but knowing he wasn't in such a deep coma made me have hope.

He will wake up soon. But what then? How will I tell him that I fancy him even more everyday?
Let's just leave it at that.

Every time I visit him I feel guilt, could you blame me?
If he doesn't wake up, how am I supposed to keep on visiting him and looking at his hopeless face?

I sigh while moving my art pencil to create shades at the bridge of his nose.
Our assignment was to draw something we loved or adored, and I wouldn't think twice about drawing Conner.

He took a picture of us together at his sister's party. We were ice skating and he took the cute selfie. Our cheeks were pressed against each other's, longing for the warmth that melted the cold air.
We were so happy while it lasted.

I pack my art book into its sleeve and gather my pencil case and my bag.
The principle were to tell us what was going to happen with the camps this weekend. She was also to explain what happened with the gun shots and who caused it.

I sighed as I made a short cut through the school, really not wanting to bump into any sorry faces.
As I pass the fountain, I retrace every move we made and the memory replays inside of my head.
I couldn't care less about the dark alley as I walk through it, but what pains me is that the graffiti was still there.

Maybe this was his way of telling me that he is my prince and that my happy ever after is with him and not with Conner. Isn't that why he drew 'us' like that. That's just sappy.

I groan because of the distance I have to walk. It's literally walking behind the school, far away from everything else.

I should've just covered my face with my jersey, but by doing that means it would look more suspicious and I'd be cold.

This is so not how I pictured today to be.

As I arrive in the hall, Ally already reserved a seat for me. I was a little bit late but the principle just nodded when she saw my appearance. I guess you can't judge me in my situation right now.

"Well students, we all know why we are gathered here," The principle says over the microphone.

"First of all, I am sure to tell you only a few students have gotten injured," she says looking in my direction. Could they just get past this and not involve me in it. If anybody else mentions this again I will rip their heads off.

"The police have investigated, and our school was under attack. The person who caused this has been arrested before he could..." she looks at the other teachers for strength to carry on, and they all encourage her by nodding.

"..he wanted to bomb the school." she says with a cracked voice. Everybody gasps in shock.
We all could've been dead.

"But I have to give somebody else, who isn't here sadly, the credit. He attacked the bomber with Ryder and they slowed them down in the process. Sadly though the attackers had a riffle and shot Ryder in his leg. He made it out safely," The principle continues. I remember seeing Ryder full off blood when he went out of the building.

"Conner on the other hand.." she says and I start crying again. All day I've avoided losing my strength. All day I didn't want to think about him and here she comes with a darn speech and messes up everything.
Ally notices as she rubs my back and hugs me. She really has been helping me through this. I appreciate everything she does for me.

"He got hit over the head several times and tried making it out. He was too weak so he hid in one of the classrooms.
When our beloved Elle here,was worried she went in to find him.
Thank you for being so stubborn, otherwise Williams, as we know him would've not been here anymore," she says and I bury my face in my hands.
Everybody's eyes were boring the side of my head. I was weak and fragile, I couldn't look them in their eyes.

I know I shouldn't break down like I am in front of everybody, but they don't know how this is my fault. How I caused him to be in so much pain.
This is my misery and no one would understand.

Without listening to what anybody said or the sound of The principle's voice echoing through the hall, I stood up and ran towards the exit door.

I have to see him. I have to make sure he isn't dead. I have to make it to the hospital on foot. I couldn't care less about being kidnapped or hurt.

It was raining outside so I stopped at the front door and leaned against the wall. I slid down slowly until I reached my knees and hid my face in my hands.

This was terrible. I don't want to lose him just over a stupid backpack. Everything I do, every where I go, reminds me of him.
His hazel eyes which make my stomach erupt into butterflies. The first time we held hands was wonderful.
We had such fun times together. We could be ourselves and not put up an act to impress around each other.
One thing that doesn't leave my mind, is what would've happened if we did kiss. I wouldn't be so mad at myself for not letting him know how I felt.

I could feel somebody breathing on me, making the tears on my cheeks cold.
The person then wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into their embrace.
I didn't have to be Einstein to know who it was, judging by his cologne and the texture of his hands.

I look at Zac with teary eyes while he holds me. I didn't care if this was wrong, but I needed a shoulder to cry on. I needed somebody who knew me better than Ally to comfort me, and that was Zac.
He knew exactly what to do when I was sad and unhappy. He knew everything about me. And I'm not over exaggerating by saying everything.

He wipes some of my auburn hair away from my eyes. Some of the strands got stuck to my wet cheeks.
He took out an elastic band and put my hair into a high pony.
I remember Zac always did my hair when he wanted to and I must add that he isn't bad.

He gently wipes my cheeks with a tissue and I look at his baby blues.
They looked like they always have, very piercing and as blue as the ocean.
Every time we went to the beach, I would tell him about my comparison with the ocean and his eyes.
He would laugh at me for being so silly.
But when I look or even go to the beach,his beautiful eyes come to mind.

We sit there in silence which I was very grateful for. He didn't say sorry or tried telling me it wasn't my fault. Instead he stroked my arm and let me rest on his chest.

"Do you want to go to him?" he asks and I look up at his eyes. He was leaning up against the wall with his arms, supporting him.

I nodded. My voice didn't have the strength to speak and my mouth was dry. It felt like I was dehydrating because of the water loss from my eyes.

He helps me get up and almost carries me to his car, not saying anything else.
He knew me so well. When I went through trouble, he wouldn't ask me what happened or why I was acting that way. He would let me speak at my own pace and he would lie with me until I could gather my words.

Sometimes I had nightmares that I would lose him, which ironically did happen, and he would come over to my house in the middle of the night and reassure me he wouldn't. But promises can't always be kept.
Promises are meant to be broken,sometimes for good.