Temporarily His

Chapter 34

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Everyone's around, no words are coming now.
And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound.
And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up.
And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it.

And now I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you.

I thought I saw a sign somewhere between the lines.
Maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want.

Artist: Marianas Trench Song: Good to You

Sage’s Pov.

January has long been gone, and it’s now reaching the middle of February. The weather was the same, a little colder, but still relatively warm compared to many other places. I have four months left with Blaze; I’ve been keeping my head away from that thought because it always manages to make me tear up. But my mind slips up and goes there, every once in a while.

And when we went to school, it felt weird going back to school, especially with all the stares Blaze and I still got. They acted as if they stared long enough, then I would disappear into thin air. I felt like Regina George and everyone here felt victimized by me, for just being with Blaze.

Blaze and I were right now, sitting in at the kitchen nook watching Lana make tamales. I was starving and so was Blaze, and Lana was taking her sweet time. Zac had to take care of some business but he was going to be here soon.

Mark and Aubrey were taking Mathew to get his shots. They had just gotten full custody but Sam left a pretty long letter that she was going to be around. I already knew she was just screaming for trouble, but it was inevitable with her.

“I’ll be back, I have to go pee.” I pushed back the chair and walked to the bathroom. Once I was done I walked out slowly hearing Lana and Blaze talk.

“So what are you two doing for Valentine’s Day tomorrow?” She asked wrapping the last couple of Tamales up.

“Uhm, nothing I guess.” Blaze shrugged.

“Although you’ve been being way-y nicer, and she considerate of your feelings on things; she’s still a girl and she can still leave you.” Lana scolded point the hot and spicy food at Blaze.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Blaze asked confused. I was just shocked that he actually cared.

“Well—hi Sage!” Lana smiled at me brightly as if I didn’t just see her.

“Knock it off Lans, I just saw you like 3 minutes ago.” I laughed and sat back on the stool.

After Lana, Blaze, and I ate a couple of tamales Blaze went to the room to go work and Lana went back to her apartment to work. I sat in the living room and you know how when you’re alone all you can do is think. I didn’t want to think but every time I would look at the TV and try to daze off, my mind would slip back onto the topic I was always trying to avoid. I even tried a glass of wine to help calm my nerves. I wasn’t drunk or anything, and I was fully aware of my actions. I just thought to try it, but it didn’t help.

Hours later, I was in the same position I was always in with Blaze. Rejection. It’s honestly a hard pill to swallow, and it didn’t get easier every time it happen.

“Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t need another apology. I’m so sick of your sorrys. Obviously you are aware of what you’re doing. You know, but you’re being selfish for once.” I practically yelled at him. We were on the bed and just broke off a heavy make out.