The Girl of Time (Doctor Who Fan-fiction)

Chapter 38

Journal entry

Day: ????

The war has started.

And I think I'm going to die much sooner than I previously thought.

The light hasn't even gone away. It's been years, and at least once a week, without fail, someone or something sits outside my door for a few minutes, and then disappears. There's nothing I can do, however, and it's not like they've done anything harmful. The worst thing they've done is wake me up.

My trainers are saying in less than a year, they're going to be sending me up to fight. They have said in the past, our number one enemy is the Daleks, which they've already told me, I won't be able to kill. No, that's not my purpose. My job is to deal with all the other enemy planets, so the rest of them can deal with the Daleks.

So...I need to say something, because I just need you to understand.

I don't want to kill people, I don't want to die just to die, none of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to have a childhood, but instead, I was raised to be a soldier in a lost-cause war. I've lost all hope of ever going back.

So listen carefully.

If all goes as planned, and I murder hundreds of species, and somehow I manage to survive, do me a favor and kill me. I don't want to live with the memories of what I've done. I won't be myself anymore, I'll just be a machine. A machine with one program. Kill. Please, don't let me go. I am begging you, don't let me survive the war.

~🌺~

I slowly flip back to the front of the journal, in slight shock. I gaze around the room, half expecting answers to magically appear on the walls. "Why...how am I not dead?" I choke, "Why am I alive?" It didn't sound like I had any chance of surviving the war, so what am I doing on Earth in the twenty first century?

I nervously grasp the journal, as if it will suddenly combust into flames, and set it in my lap. I flip through the entire journal, hoping to find something to elucidate what I just read. I find nothing. The writing switches over to my Dream journal after the last entry.

"Find anything interesting?" A voice says from behind. I snap to my feet and face the intruder, who turns out to be the blond man.

"What is this?" I whisper. I feel my face get hot, and I clutch the journal to my chest so hard my knuckles turn white.

"That was our peace offering. We are on your side, Brielle. You were treated horribly, they turned you into a monster against your will. Brielle, they ruined you, and they didn't even care. We all agreed, you needed to know."

"Why?" I say, shaking my head, "Why would you care?"

"Like I said, we really want you on our team. Sure, maybe you killed thousands of people, but what if you could save billions? There are young soldiers out there, right now, Brielle, ready to go. They just need someone to guide them."

"So basically," I say, enunciating every syllable, "You want me to become like them," I hold up the journal, "Force a bunch of people to murder, because after all, who cares? It's all for the greater good anyway, am I right?"

The man leans against the door frame, crossing his arms, "Oh, come on. Hear me out. Nobody needs to die, nobody needs to lose their innocence - well, of course you," he chuckles, "Too late for that, anyhow. In all seriousness though, mmm...maybe we could work out a deal."

"Like what?" I ask, flipping through the journal once more.

"We could help you get revenge."

"Alrighty..."